48. ROGD Parents: Save Your Sanity with StoicMom

In their desperation to protect their children from lifelong medicalization, parents of trans-identifying youth are often at risk of losing sleep, jobs, and even marriages. In this episode, I talk with life coach and ROGD parent, StoicMom, about how ROGD parents might save their sanity and develop pathways forward in support of healthy family dynamics. StoicMom presents solutions to parents outlined by her view of stoicism. She encourages parents to see trans identifying children as life’s invitation for self-assessment. She urges parents to present children with optional roadmaps to enter adulthood that provide alternative ways of being to mainstream cultural views. StoicMom encourages listeners to reclaim resilience in the face of struggle and restore deep meaning in life by motivating parents to model the best examples possible for their children. She inspires parents to detach from outcomes as children navigate the muddy, but normal, waters of individuation through adolescence. StoicMom reminds us that life is rich when we accept the invitation it offers us to provide emotional support to our loved ones as they embark on their journey of self-discovery.

In this episode, StoicMom mentioned two previous podcast episodes. The first was with Sasha Ayad and Stella O’Malley on their program, “Gender: A Wider Lens” where they discussed personal individuation called, “Using Her Child’s Trans Identity for Personal Individuation.” Additionally, on “The StoicMom Project” StoicMom was interviewed by Jessie Mannisto on an episode called, “Perceiving a Higher Path.” Those podcast episodes can be found here:

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[megankwisdom]

I just want to say thank you to stoicmom for helping me with a situation I've been struggling with lately, completely unrelated to gender fwiw. I've been stuck not knowing what to do and meanwhile have just been feeling worse and worse about it and her voice popped into my head saying "the obstacle is the way" and I thought, ok, it might be uncomfortable and it might be difficult but I'm going to face it head on because I can't keep going like this indefinitely, something has to change, and it's not going to unless I make an effort to change it. I've read about stoicism before and it never really clicked with me and I honestly thought it was just something men would be into and not that good for women. Idk if I will look more into it, maybe if there are other female stoics out there bc I don't like the males in the space so far, but I do think this little bit has helped, so thank you 💜

[lati_da]

I just sat through a lecture by woman who works at the gender clinic at ohsu. This lecture was presented to medical students in their final year. Her presentation was about gender affirming care for minors. She claimed gender affirming care was “preventative and curative.” She had no references. Not a single reference to back up her claims. She attempted to debunk what she called a myth that asked “what if this is a phase?” Her attempted debunk said “if this identity is showing up in adolescence it is likely not a phase. Adolescence is a time of exploration.” Yeah, that was her debunk.

[mtmcas]

She has a great message and understanding and I appreciate her but she needs to stop saying ‘Right’ so much. 💖 no offense I would not be perfect either!!! And she’s amazing.