Why Avoidants Pull Away When They Love You

Do you pull away, or try to hold on? Let me know! 👇

#avoidantattachment #anxiousattachment #attachmentstyles #anxiousavoidanttrap

[luketimewalker]

You have a knack for turning a 30 minute explanation in a 1 minute digest! Wow

[joancramer]

Wow. that’s why he’s affectionate one evening and totally strangely detached and withdrawn the next.
Crazy doesn’t even wanna talk totally like I’m not there so I’m taking a break for about three weeks.

[tulsalien]

That fear can sound like a totally rational ish internal dialogue about how you don’t need relationships or just aren’t meant for them. I go between both.

[tumbleweedconnection]

Yes I truly believe this. My ex had dismissive avoidant tendencies and I am sure that when we started to fall in love that her fears kicked in big time!

[moni]

Lady you're the attachment style 🐐!!

[scottmoore]

After 7-months of bliss I was immediately cut off and broken-hearted. She contacted me a couple times and I told her I was not OK being “friends.” My question: Why would she text me asking if I would please send her the 60-70 pictures we had taken together on our most recent trip? She dropped me, then wanted all of our pics from the trip we had just taken, that I got dropped after the trip was over. Her response: “I want the pics. It doesn’t bother me because it was a time in my life I grew a lot and have no regrets.” Huh?

[loraliecataldi]

Painful rejection after a high that felt like it would never end. It was short lived simply because all he was into was the chase and I responded too quickly to all the love bombing and beautiful words he said. He seemed very sincere but then admitted he got scared! Well I didn’t lead us there, he did! So it’s his fault that he got scared after he pursued so hard and bombed me with all his best pictures and wanted mine in return. What helps me get over is going on a vacation far away where my mind is completely distracted and get to flirt with some sexy European men but it’s not an option now and I have to tough this one out

[petitcoeur-qr]

I think mine didn’t just pull away - they discarded me after I told them I loved them and wasn’t sure how they felt. Didn’t write in any accusatory manner but I assume they felt like I was blaming them. It’s been three weeks now and finding it hard.

[Adam-jmkt]

We were together for two years
being my girlfriend was her idea
she said I love you first then eventually said the relationship has run its course. We never had any fights or arguments or problems. I have been in no contact for one month today.

[brianamacwilliam.attachment]

Do you pull away, or try to hold on? Let me know! 👇

[AlehaDarabaka]

Does this also apply to fearful avoidants/disorganized or just dismissive avoidants?

[AliceGonese-lxlr]

He said I love you to me after 6 months

[MissBlueEyeliner]

And somehow I always end up with anxious attached partners…
Not a great dynamic.

[nadazaki]

Do they deny their feelings or forget it while they are pulling away

[nanh]

What brand/ color lipstick are you wearing? So pretty..

[cavansherland]

What do you mean by 'x fear of intimacy '?

[vykryl]

You need to stop lumping dismissive avoidants and disorganized (fearful avoidants) together. They are different attachment types with different root issues and consequent behaviors. Using avoidant as a blanket term for two different attachment types breeds confusion and misunderstanding of how to work with two different sets of issues

[redfritz]

I had this curse since at least 10. Really bad.

[MattCassCook]

Not worth the hassle being with someone like that

[shannonlogue-chrysalisfitn]

Is it common from them to pull away after receiving a really nice birthday gift?