How I stopped daydreaming and got focused

I feel like I constantly daydream when I'm trying to get focused and work. Sometimes I can't even last 5 minutes before daydreaming. I was so frustrated, and finally got looking into the research. After my exploration, I discovered short term solutions to daydreams, but I also realized what to work on for a long term solution, to prevent them from ever happening again.

🙏 Thanks for watching!
- Mike and Matty

[aishwaryasahu]

I think the things that make me less focused are
1. Songs playing in my head (along with choreography since i am a dancer)
2. Overthinking
3. Random conversations
4. Daydreaming about enjoying/ going to my dream college/ making friends/ ANYthing that makes me look cool you know-

[SuperAlphaKirby]

My parents were super overprotective and never let me out of the house on my own. This messed me up. I started day dreaming my ideal teenage life with ideal lovers and ideal friends. So addictive.

[vante]

So happy to see that maladaptive daydreaming is finally getting recognition.

[justalsta]

I tend to daydream about having deep conversations with people. I can spend hours dreaming about people caring about what I have to say and how I feel. I feel like it's one of my biggest guilty pleasures. You don't always feel loved and cared for in your real life, but when I daydream I feel like I'm worth something. It's almost never about my future or goals that I have though, so it doesn't really motivate me. It just take my time away from me.

[momoz]

maladaptive daydreaming is so addictive and its been a coping mechanism for me since childhood

[shannelphilp]

I actually day dream about achieving all my goals and telling everyone I ever knew about all my accomplishments. But, I plan when I do this. I set-aside time to visualize my dreams while I exercise and listen to music. Planning this time helps me NOT day dream as much when I don't want to, like when I am studying. My issue with losing focus during studying is more on the: "I have to set this appointment" or a rabbit-hole on what I am studying "I wonder what salary a genetic counselor makes?" Or "Actually how many blood types ARE there?" BUT your distraction sheet suggestion has helped a LOT with that issue-thank you for your videos!!!

[chrmeen]

The bad thing about my day dreaming is that I don’t daydream about my goals. I day dream about things like looking cool in front of my friends, and having a really enjoyable life. Although my life is already really good, I just detach myself from reality so often despite this fact. And it is really sad, and it just comes on automatically and I don’t really know how to stop....

[bvwan]

I used to daydream A LOT, like every seconds I have. But I had it under control now. I would still see myself daydreaming from time to time, but it's easier to shush them now. Here are some things that helped me:
1. Bid them farewell. I wrote down my goodbyes to them in my journal. It is important to think that they aren't there to harm you, they wanted to protect you so thank them. (i.e., myself from that daydream, thank you for giving me confidence and hope. You were all a great help to me, but I would find a better coping mechanism. Ily and be happy in your world.) This helped me accept officially that I do want better coping mechanism because no matter how I think and say I want to stop daydreaming, I just can't help myself but let those daydreams play like a tv show in my head.

2. After writing them my thank yous and goodbyes, I imagined two worlds: my world (the reality) and theirs. I put them in that other world, living happily and content. It feels a lot better I swear to think that they don't resent you for detaching them from you. Might sounds weird for them to feel resentment, but that's just how my brain works.

3. Breathe whenever you feel daydreams crossing your mind. I use the 515 method where I breathe in for 5 seconds and immediately breathe out for 5 seconds. But there are a lot of breathing exercises that would work perfectly fine. Some examples are the 478 and the box method. 478: inhale for 4sec, hold your breath for 7sec, and exhale for 8 sec. The box method is 444: inhale for 4sec, hold your breath for 4 sec, and exhale for 4 seconds. Another would be breathing in for some seconds, say 4, then take another fast inhale. Then, immediately after than fast inhale, breathe out until you feel your lungs running out of oxygen—just to the point that you can't exhale one second more.

The daydreams that often play in my head were the strongest, and it was excruciatingly hard to control them. After doing the first two, they are gone. It is important to note that you have fully accept that you actually want to stop those daydreams, so write down everything you want to say to them (don't demonize them, okay?). I don't have those strong daydreams anymore, but new ones were popping up in my head from time to time. Since they are new, they are just like guests who wanted to stay in you home. But don't entertain them, do the step 3–breathe~ I noticed that those new daydreams can be controlled by breathing because you are not yet attached to them. When those new daydream pop out or if the once strong daydream tries to resurface, cut them off by breathing. Don't try to entertain them because it will only become interesting, and it would be hard for you to control them because you already found the comfort they are trying to give. Hope this would be helpful!

edit: fixed some grammatical errors

[crullea.s]

I was wasting my 4-5 hours while daydreaming. As a 20 years old student, it keeps me away from my duties, it fills my brain with nonsense things... So i started writing a book. I generally daydream about some supernatural things and i put myself as someone else and become another person. When i started writing a book about my ideas and the main topic of my daydreams, they started becoming lighter and i didnt waste that much time on it. Sorry for my grammar or using the wrong words... I'm not native.

[purplelorax]

The 3 tips:
2:57 Look forward to daydreams.
3:37 Introduce distractions.
4:24 Collect your daydreams.

[jstudios]

Maladaptive daydreaming is indeed a coping mechanism. One important trick is to use your phone's calculator app to add up the number of hours you've been daydreaming and look at it at the end of the day. The sense of alarm on how much of your life was lived "elsewhere" will act as a deterrent more and more the next time. Best of luck and remember that there is not a minute of daydreams that is worth giving up a second in real life.

[anaghanair]

daydreaming is a terrible habit and i wasn't sure how to get rid of it. it wastes so much of my time and even while doing something i enjooy, i can't help but zone out. thank you for this video!

[Bia-starlight]

I usually daydream about the things I want to happen, like passing my exams or getting out of the country. Most of the time, what helps me snap back from reality is whenever I daydream of myself as a doctor, listening to someone's concerns and realizing that I do not know the answer. Like, damn dude. That's the forking cue that I need to study more and focus. LOL.

[amiihs]

Things that help reduce daydreaming down
1. Count whats in the room or focus on the colours
2. Cold or hot things touch it to shock your brain back into the present like washing your face in freezing water
3. Praying because your saying something else other than your daydreams
4. Lowering caffeine/sugar intake because it can make u want to walk all of a sudden
5. Technique “I am having a thought..”
6. Have someone in the room with you and repeat “be present” in your brain so you know what there say
7. Your rumination problem comes from somewhere seek a therapist
8. Put the phone down and go for a painful walk admiring nature and bin the headphones (out of sight out of mind)
9. Gaslight yourself and say your daydreams are boring and repetitive even if their hillarious
10. Create a constructive outlook using ur thoughts
And remember its not an automatic thing you will slip into it some days one step at a time

[d.velvet]

I started daydreaming while watching this video I'm gonna cry istg.
The thing I hate the most is I don't even daydream about anything that'd help me, not even my goals. I daydream about stupid things like going to school and not having to do any work and just enjoying with my friends or some weird fake scenarios. It feels so good but when you realise you have been daydreaming for so long, it gets frustrating because you basically wasted all that time. It took me around 10 minutes to write this comment because I started daydreaming while writing it. Thanks for this video though!

[sriya]

I daydream about
- accepting myself and being more confident and secure
- becoming a good writer, and getting recognition
- looking pretty
- acting or looking smarter and presentable (socially acceptable)

[swayamsiddhamahapatra]

I am honestly tearing up rn...it is just so difficult to break this habit. Few years back I did a research on thos too but no one really thought of it much. The amount of loss I had because of maladiptive daydreaming is just so.. depressing. I am just so glad to see that you made a video about it and also the remedy. I am so grateful thank you very much, sir. I know the comment got too long but I just so happy. Thanku very much.

[anonymous_]

I daydream to neglect my loneliness, in my daydreams I have good friends..
Someone who cares for me, talk to me, make me feel special, worthy, etc.
And that is the only way I feel myself living.
I don't know what to do, should I give up but I can't .
I really wanna get out of this but I am just stuck in this unknowing situation ..

[MCL]

I’ve always daydreamed, I’m creative, but finding myself in an abusive marriage, with no hope of leaving, I ran through all the options I could think of to escape while still there. I chose daydreaming. It seemed harmless at first but it has been at the root of some pretty heavy current problems 25 years later for me and for my kiddos. The divorce got my daughter and I out of a pretty terrible situation but we have a lot of work to do.

[aishwaryasavitha]

Daydreaming has become a bigger monster ever since high school.
It's just getting worse day by day. Even when I have my exams tomorrow, instead of studying I keep daydreaming more about my past, like how it should have been. At first it feels ok but when I realise it was all tooo useless, it's already too late. It's become the worst thing ever. I tried many things to stop it but nothing worked. It's like as if I am cursed with it.