The KEY To Healthy Arguments

Stop losing and start WINNING. Negotiations can feel intimidating, but our methods make it easy. We rely on emotional intelligence and empathy to get the job done. Explore our content and find the best skills and strategies to ace negotiations. Head to our website to subscribe to our newsletter and attend one of our live events. See you there!

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About The Black Swan Group
Founded and led by former lead FBI hostage negotiator, Chris Voss, the Black Swan Group has 10+ years of experience working with companies and individuals on taking their negotiation skills to the next level. Chris’ book, Never Split the Difference, is a Wall Street Journal bestseller and has sold over 2 million copies worldwide. Our expert team of coaches discuss everything from silence techniques to influential empathy.

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Thanks for watching!

[katradiction]

I keep telling my partner, the best way to "avoid a fight" isn't to shut down all conversations but actually to increase it. Ask questions. Seek to better understanding the other person. And the more he strengthens that skill, the more peace we have between us.

[them]

It turns out, communicating is one of the best ways to communicate.

[CoachHeyward]

This is the first black swan video I’ve seen that talks about changing your mind and coming over to their side.

[bereadymore]

I love/ hate this video. So while watching this is thought about an argument i had with my wife. Listening to this i changed the way I approached my wife. Instead of having the same argument we had before, We had a heart to heart instead of an argument because of a disagreement we found a better way to understand each other

[jakenuno]

Had a similar situation, only we both wanted a real tree, but knew it would be smarter for our new baby boy to get a good fake and have that for the next few years or so to save a bit more. The hack was we'd get the stump pucks and other Christmas tree natural pine scents for the house, to give us that classic nostalgic smell that really was what we were looking for, which also gives our son the same experience.

[SailorAlexander]

Great video. “Why?” Backed with genuine empathy should be the norm. This goes for both parties. It’s time for more people to wake up and save themselves from a life of low conscious regret all because they lack the capacity to truly care about another person, especially the ones they love.

[MrDeanWeen]

Her Christmas' were so special growing up she never told him about it.

[Publiclighthouse]

She is his wife and up until that point, they NEVER shared stories about the holidays and what it was like?

[emmanuelescobar]

Maybe an enlightened world will be the one where we communicate clearly and honestly

[SergioBlackDolphin]

As a Sales in an IT company I was let go for asking why to a customer. He was asking for a proposal of a service, without me knowing what brought him to ask for it. The client complained I wasn’t doing what he asked, and my sales manager let me go. They ended up making the offer and the client never signed the deal.
It is so important to know the reasons behind any requests, as you develop the right understanding not just for the current deal but also for more to come.

[TylerOrchowski]

Putting yourself in the other person's shoes is the best way to to have any conversation with them. Ask a question, get a favor, prove a point, win an argument etc.

[vivelachocha]

There's always information you dont have is simple yet brilliant

[azazazaz]

My 1st year of marriage my wife along with my grandparents were picking out trees. My wife n I were going back and forth nobody happy. So I ask my Grandpa (60+ years of marriage). He said “ You could pick one out twice as nice for half the price and it wouldn’t matter”. 😂

[Nangeala]

Homestly, someone you love does NOT have to dissect or justify their wants if your dont have a strong preference rooted in something equally important to you. Dont make everything a big deal. Sometimes its enough that you can make him happy even if you dont understand why 😊

[davidgoff]

Yep. Its the why of things that help and onky way to find out the why is to talk and figure it out together. Even when it isnt easy.

[nope]

Could have also been the opposite, like with me. My parents didn’t like real trees, and we usually had an artificial one. So real tries are absolutely magical to me now.

Also, talking about the details and the “whys” is so important for good communication.

[jacofoot]

If you think the other person's motives are irrational or illogical then perhaps their motivations or emotional. They usually are. The question then comes in what is the cause of the emotion and do I want to give in to their emotional expression.

What are my motives? What do I want to achieve in this situation? Is it a boundary or can I provide leniency on this matter?

Is the cleanup more important than forging these specific memories? All relationship are negotiation with a potential hostile enemy. It's all about what you want to achieve and how to achieve it.

[DreamScapeInt]

I agree with trying to find the thread that brings people together. Good job

[Stephenwc]

The trick here is how to bring out those thoughts. I mean that guy definitely would have appreciated that important info [much] earlier. I have to dig with my gf into why she insists on certain things. Sometimes I just won't be let in [at least completely] on those. She will always have some [family] secrets that I won't learn about. I have come to peace with it.

[dean]

You had me at my wife said she wanted something.