how to figure out if you're bi or gay: attraction vs validation

how to figure out if you're bi or gay: attraction vs validation

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HAPPY PRIDE MONTH BESTIES!! In today's video I talk about the differences between attraction and validation & compulsory heterosexuality! I love you all so much & can't wait to chat in the comments xx

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[MsDickerz]

Have any of you struggled with attraction vs validation? 🌈💗

[lv]

I've always felt more comfortable saying I'm bi infront of men than I did saying I'm a lesbian because I didn't want their "validation" to go away. But I'm definitely ✨gay✨

[confusedwonderling]

The anxiety vs. “butterflies” is a big one for me. When I first heard about this, it made so much sense. I was previously confused upon why I felt this weird stomach feeling, even though I experienced no attraction to the person whatsoever. Thank you for bringing it up 😅

[theskyesummers]

happy pride month everybody!!! a tip that really helped me realize i was a lesbian is kinda strange, but helped me a ton. i asked myself "if i was a man, would i still be bi?" and the answer was no. that helped me start to come to terms with my homosexuality. hope this helped :)

[Puff]

This came out at the perfect time! I’ve identified as lesbian for 2 years now but recently I’ve been putting myself down and wondering if I am actually bi. This video really helped me realise that I’ve been struggling with internalised homophobia, compulsive heterosexuality and male validation. You are so good at making information clear and helpful and I just want you to know that videos like this mean so much to me and other people.

[graceelena]

happy pride month you guys!! just a reminder that you are valid no matter your sexuality or lack of, i’m so proud of you! ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜🤍🤎🖤

[fadedaudios]

*How I knew*
1) never wanting to get married when I thought of it as opposite gender relationship, but kind of considering it when changing the relationship to same gender
2) shy around all people ( but in a different ways and difference in how often )
3) almost never wanting compliments from opposite gender ( could be bc of personal experiences ) but liked compliments from same gender
4) only liking/idolizing male characters/people i know will never have the same feelings towards me ( this goes the same for same gender but more often w/opposite gender )
5) when thinking about relationships/s*x I never had a group of people in mind just thought of it as something that will happen with someone of an unknown gender
6) people pleasure
7) the 2 crushes I know I had are kind of similar ( opposite and same gender crush )
8) wanting to date same gender before opposite gender in case I have “gay panics” in opposite gender relationships
9) at first questioning my attraction for same gender, then knowing I like all people, to now questioning my attraction to opposite gender
10) not really knowing the difference or having a strong connection friendships and crushes

Tbh I’ve been questioning my attraction towards opposite gender for a little while now ;”( pandemic thoughts ) but I’m not too worried about it bc I don’t plan on dating for awhile but it is something that takes up space in my mind.

Honestly after Jules episode on euphoria I’ve been thinking about how much I relate to her and how I didn’t realize and still might not realize it

[animekitten]

that "attraction vs anxiety" thing has been throwing me for years

[abismith]

omg i can't wait for this one!! anyone else question this literally everyday?

[epicheetah]

Dutchy: "Hello? Can you just come out for a sec?"

Me: *Nervous panromantic noises*

[Sandy-oeim]

"You like all women and Harry Styles" that's so specific 😳😳😳

[enderclowns]

Happy pride month all!! hope yall are having a wonderful pride so far.
remember to eat and stay hydrated, love yall💕

[kiefinity]

As a straight male, still excellent content. I have so much love and respect for everyone and hope you have a great day. Blessings from South Africa

[mylacollins]

"Butterflies or Anxiety"
* Me thinking of all the times I was around the opposite gender trying to remember the feeling *
Sexuality is so confusing * sigh *

[sadboyno.b]

OK, ok
This video has got me all confused now,
I recently came out as bi and quickly saw my focus turn from just guys to mostly girls
and I'm not 100% sure how that happened but anyway,
I've heard about the validation thing before but never bothered to look it up or anything so I'm rather surprised
on how much I can relate, specifically the part about confusing who I want with who I want to be. Honestly, up until
I was around 10-11 I wanted to be a boy desperately but was always kept to myself about that, possibly because
my mum is kinda trans-phobic. I thought that it was all just a phase but realized I still do some certain things that show a few red flags. e.g any online accounts or opportunities to choose gender: I have chosen male.
As I've grown up I've started to let my hair down more and dress a little less "tom-boy-ish" but any guy who walks by
with nice hair/clothes or whatever, I tell myself I have a crush on them but now, I've realized that's not who I want,
that's who I want to be. Safe to say I am gonna get no sleep tonight.

TL:DR I think I'm gay and trans and idk wtf to do about it

[jaceyannjames]

I knew I was gay and not bi because I didn't feel connection to males romantically. I thought some men were good-looking but I wasn't actually attracted. And in a relationship, I just enjoyed they're friendly company. Any affection was really uncomfortable for me. For women, I was so attracted and craving their affection.

[notdefining]

Thank you for this video. It’s a tough one for me too. Wondering whether my attraction to women is just engrained heteronormativity. But we don’t have to obsess about this. We can love how we feel right to love. And I’m so proud of my love for my wife and also my attraction to guys.

[number]

this definitely helped make it clearer. I’ve never once questioned my attraction to women but I’ve been questioning my attraction to men for over 2 years. also i am so anxious thinking ab going on dates with men, I never do, I usually just use them for validation. quite eye opening …. guess I’m not bi oof

[frederique]

So I am not the only one who is attracted to just girls, and Harry Styles

[bridgettritle]

Happy Pride Month y’all!! ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜🤍🤎🖤🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️