What Your Love Language Says About Your Childhood

Have you ever wondered why you connect with love in a specific way? Your primary love language may reveal what you lacked as a child. While our parents shape much of our early emotional world, their imperfections can leave gaps that influence how we express and receive love today. In this video, we explore how childhood experiences shape our love languages—from gift-giving and acts of service to words of affirmation, quality time, and physical touch.

Understanding these patterns can help you deepen your relationships and heal from past emotional needs. If this resonates with you, let us know in the comments! Don’t forget to like and subscribe for more insights from Psych2Go.

**Key Points:**
- **Gifts**: Often linked to feeling unseen or misunderstood as a child.
- **Acts of Service**: Can stem from growing up with little support or having to be independent early.
- **Physical Touch**: May indicate a childhood lacking affectionate physical contact.
- **Quality Time**: Associated with parents not being present or showing little interest in bonding.
- **Words of Affirmation**: Often needed by those who grew up with excessive criticism or a lack of verbal encouragement.

**Further Reading & Sources:**
- Chapman, G., & Campbell, R. (2008). *The Five Love Languages of Children*. Moody Publishers.
- Adams, A. (2020). *Exploring Love Languages: The Key to Building and Maintaining Healthy Relationships*.
- Maximo, S. I., & Carranza, J. S. (2016). *Parental Attachment and Love Language as Determinants of Resilience*. Sage Open.
- Segrin, C., et al. (2015). *Overparenting and Critical Family Environments*. *Journal of Child and Family Studies*.
- Creswell, C., et al. (2008). *Parental Expectations and Parenting Behavior*. *Behavioral and Cognitive Psychotherapy*.

What’s your love language, and do you think it connects to your childhood? Let us know below! 💬

Writer: Dylan Swanepoel
Script Editor & Manager: Kelly Soong
Animator: Naphia
Contonese Dub: 平凡詩人
YouTube Manager: Cindy Cheong

[Psychgo]

We are also working on a quiz to help you learn about your love language if you're interested.

[JustahighlyirritatedEDMguy]

Old line, but bold of you to assume I have love.

[memorableman]

0:22 1. Gift-Giving
1:09 2. Acts of Service
1:53 3. Physical Touch
2:31 4. Quality Time
3:05 5. Words of Affirmation

[Keiron-pwsl]

I've never felt good enough sometimes i feel safer when I'm on my own

[Alma]

My love language since childhood has always been physical touch. I hug the people i'm close to so tightly they complain. My mom told me it was because when I was a baby, she was too busy with work so it was my dad who took care of me. Still, her warmth is the best and I always hug her every time.

[Pdds]

I use acts of service and gift giving. My friends and family appreciate it very much, and I feel as though they finally notice me. I'm still working on my relationship with my sister, but she's older than me and openly dislikes my hobbies with a passion, and I accept the fact that it'll be harder.

I do small things as handmaking gifts and throwing their trash away for them.
I make clay models with the clay I rarely get and let them paint it!
Finally, being noticed and loved knowingly is awesome!!

[aoii]

time stamps if you're in a rush!

0:22 gift giving
1:09 acts of service
1:52 physical touch
2:32 quality time
3:05 words of affirmation

[nerdexproject]

With all due respect, and while I'm no psychologist, but this video has one major flaw: The assumption that you only have a certain love language due to a lack in your childhood. Not saying that's wrong but based on my experience it can also be exactly the opposite!
My mom gave me a ton of physical touch and yet it's my love language! Why? Bc I learned to strongly *connect* physical touch with love! It actually makes a lot of sense!
I love Psych2Go but I had to point this out!

[AUCreatoer]

Quality Time and Physical Touch is my love language :D

And.. those parts are quite accurate.

[RazorOProductions]

Mine is Physical Touch, and as the fifth kid of six kids you can imagine how I lacked physical affection young....

[leialuminous]

Ah, I am all the love languages because my mother was constantly trying to kill me then. Makes sense now.

[Unknownpersona]

My Love Languages
1st:Physical touch(I used to be awkward about it bcuz i wasn't use to be given or show physical affection)
2nd:Words of affirmation(No one ever affirmed me, so i grew up to rely on myself for affirmation)
3rd:Quality Time(My parents, caregivers only have a little bit of quality time with me, they're all busy, everyone in the house is busy, so i was left alone)
4th:Acts of service(I never experienced acts of service as a child till now)

[MrFernandoJones]

This explains why i love love love hugs. I realized i really like cuddling, being really close to someone, chest to chest..

[purevessle]

Not only did this make it clear why my love language is what it is, but it also explains why i hate being given words of affirmation, just as much as i wasn't given the parts that gave me my love language i was also given way too much words of affirmation and now they at best have no meaning to me, and im finding it really hard to find someone that lines up with my love language platonically

[NECRAZ]

Could you please talk about strict parents from around the world? (Just a suggestion tho, speaking from experience)

[RMV]

Yeah, mine is definitely words of affirmation. As a child that was definitely left to feel like I was different and not in a good way. I grew up shy and questioning if I was good enough.

[wendychavez]

I use all of these to express my love, depending on the person I'm dealing with, though I don't think I've ever lacked for any of these things in my childhood. My parents are both amazing, our extended family is very close (though we're drifting apart now that all four grandparents have passed away), and my friendships have usually been fairly healthy. Gifts, acts of service, physical touch, quality time, and affirmation have always flowed freely, and every day I realize how much I have to be grateful for. No wonder I'm always looking for ways to tell people I love them!

[KittyUnicornXD]

I love quality time and being a gift giver. I love seeing their faces when they love what they got.

[The_Viscount]

Oof, yeah. I love my mother, but her job and her own issues left her as a workaholic. The lack of time, service and physical affection have left their mark on my own psyche. I was never wanting materially, and was well taken care of by nannies and sitters, but that just isn't the same.

If kids are supposed to be so durable, why is childhood trauma so prevalent?

[lostgurl]

I lacked ALL those things from my parents. So whenever I'm offered any of the 5 love languages I suspiciously wonder, "What do they want? It's a bribe of some kind." Sad but true.