The UNEXPECTED Way to Make Him Want MORE With You

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We’ve been told from a very young age to “play it cool” . . .

But as we grow up, we realize that when we feel we need to “play it cool” to keep someone interested, that often means we’re feeling anything but cool . . . and it usually comes from a place of insecurity or a fear of being rejected.

Pretty soon, we find ourselves calibrating our conversations and contorting ourselves to meet the other person’s needs so we don’t come off as needy or a nuisance, and little by little, we start to show them that our needs can be ignored with no repercussions . . .

In today’s new video, you’ll learn the best way to increase attraction and investment in a way that doesn’t diminish your value or make you feel like a nuisance simply for stating your needs.

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▼ Chapters ▼

0:00 – 1:05 – Playing It Too Cool
1:05 – 3:19 – The “Cool Girl”
3:19 – 5:14 – Wearing the Mask
5:14 – 7:00 – What Makes Us Care
7:00 – 9:11 – Making the Psychology Work for Us
9:11 – 10:40 – More Brave and Less Cool
10:40 – 15:10 – Connecting to Your Value

[kiran]

It’s shocking how Women’s Magic Truths on Borlest isn’t being discussed. The book is full of life-changing insights, yet no one seems to notice. Time to break the trance and read it yourself!

[JM-riem]

AS A MAN PLEASE LISTEN TO HIM. STOP BEING COOL ASK FOR WHAT YOU WANT WE ARE ALL TIRED OF THIS. YES YOU WILL SCARE AWAY THE BAD ONES BUT YOU WILL FIND AND ATTRACT THE RIGHT ONE

[Relativetoyou]

This is so true. I fell into the trap of the "cool" girl persona for a guy I fell completely in love with. When I finally felt safe to be myself it was suddenly too much for him. I realized I set my standards to the minimum and made it easy for him to be the "low effort" boyfriend. I gave so much in that relationship that it left me completely drained on the inside while he made it seem like I was the bad guy for asking for too much. I learned so much from that relationship. Set your standards ladies/gents and set boundaries. Don't be afraid to walk out if he/she doesn't step up or invest as much as you do because they most likely never will and you are just wasting your time!

[deliapasqualini]

If it works, it works. If it doesn't, don't waste your time and energy in convincing someone that you worth. I'm starting getting into it.

[constancep]

Truth. He wasn't giving me what I wanted and I let him for a little while. Then, I said "If you don't have space for me in your life, if it’s not possible for your to make me a priority, then I can't go on. I'll be sad because I want to keep seeing you, but I'll be okay, and I'll have space in *my* life to find someone who *can* give me what I need." You should have seen the look on his face. He asked for time to process, and after a couple of days, he admitted he'd taken me for granted, he apologized and said he wanted to make it up to me.

Asking for what we want is important, folks.

[teresiakagendo]

8 years of playing cool and still got dumped. This is an eye opener. Thank you so much.

[dawnowens]

If you are unable to connect via conversations and share your thoughts with him or her. You no longer have a connection.
Don’t be afraid of losing a person who is using you. You matter as much as he or she does.

[islandgirl]

Be you! Authentic! If they don’t like it, then they aren’t for you. 💜

[Eebydeeby]

Leave him alone: stop thinking about him. He will feel the energetic shift and come running behind

[filledumer]

I’m not the cool girl, but if they don’t put effort anymore, if they pull away, if they get distant, I’m just doing the same. It’s about reciprocation. If I ask you directly, you say the good thing but you don’t show it, Imma step away cus I know I deserve way better than that so if they wanna lose a good thing it’s with them, but if they don’t they might step up. That’s all. If you can’t meet me at my level, I’m not going to step down. I’m not gonna be the one always texting first, I’m not gonna entertain more “left on read” and then calling me when they want or need. And no one should. Men or women

[andreakusalova]

I have this guy with whom i am doing circles, it's been a year now. First i thought we are already dating when I found out he thought we are just friends plus, although we acted as a "normal" couple in every way - besides him sleeping with others too. I stood up for myself, and wanted to quit, then he quickly agreed to be exclusive. Three months later he realized he cannot do that and broke up - but didn't want to let me go. Wanted to get back to this friends plus something which looks actually more like an open relationship. I went with the flow because i still had feelings for him - just to realize he basically doesn't even respect me because I prioritized others and his happiness as well over mine (he still doesn't want to let me go, but would never commit to me). What to add, we should stand up for ourselves and be true to what we want: the wrong people won't respect us either way.

[marksangria]

Matthew, I'm a 38yo guy watching your videos for about a year. They really help me have more confidence when I'm struggling with social skills and dating. When I'm overanalyzing a situation or feeling unconfident, I watch one of your videos. Thank you. I've watched this one 4 times now. It's one of your best. You have a gift. Thanks for sharing it with us. 😊

[SSpitz]

I just did this of asking for what I want before seeing this video like an hour ago.
I called the guy I have been seeing for the last 2 months and straight asked him what he wants which he then said he can’t commit right now and I just stepped away because that is my standard. It wasn’t what I wanted but now he knows that I will not get attached to someone that can’t give me what I want and need. Like Mathew said once he has his reasons, I have my reality. I will not allow myself to wait for someone else. Sometimes it’s all about timing.

[victoriamonari]

I’m literally going through a situation right now where I asked for what I want and it didn’t align with him! So the timing of this is great ❤

[contagiousintelligence]

I just told my crush that it disappointed me that he didn’t reach out to me for 2 days. He was so apologetic and made me feel loved and secure. Totally good advice. Don’t suffer, ladies. If he doesn’t step up, he’s not your guy.

[athinaironos]

This man is literally changing the dating standards for all of us.. Precious. 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

[haileyp]

You can never say the wrong thing to the right person!

[RawMountainRunner]

I agree with you but the truth is that “asking for what you want, ” will scare a few people away but that’s a good thing, especially if you love them because you might have otherwise spent years waiting for this person to invest in you only to realize it will never happen. It’s ok to test the waters but don’t be afraid to dive in.

[MandatheManiac]

This was actually extremely helpful for me to hear right now. I’m always trying to be the cool girl, the people pleaser if you will. Why do I feel so concerned about asking someone to go out of their way for me for once? I’m always the one that drops what I’m doing to help others. So i am actually throwing myself outside as the doormat, and never even realized it. Til just now. Im 37…why am I just having this eye opener?! Ugh.

[rosaewilloughby]

Definitely be you; if they don’t like it then they aren’t meant for you 😅