4 Reasons You Are Losing Friends

4 Surprising Things That Sabotage Friendships

Discover The 4 Emotions You Need To Make a Killer First Impression:

Friendships are some of the most important things in life. Yet sometimes it can seem difficult to start friendships - other times friendships you have simply dissolve. And that may be because you are doing something to sabotage them. Either having an idea of how to make friends or keep a friendship and relationships, you will surely realize something new in this video that maybe you haven't.

00:42 Lack of integrity in a friendship or relationship
03:43 Manipulating your friend with guilt
06:57 Being inconsiderate of your friend
08:40 Your values have diverged from your friend's

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[princesssarah]

1. Lack of integrity
2. Manipulating Guilt
3. Inconsideration
4. Ur Values shifted from ur friend

[ruoweilim]

so glad you're focusing on friendship and not romance because we have enough of that

[TheChrisHoang]

I don't have any friendships to ruin. Bet you didn't see that coming Charlie.

[Philigan]

People who guilt about not calling are hypocrites. The phone works both ways.

[santoshim]

Friendships end when one party stops making any efforts to sustain.

[molbmek]

And there's also a 5th : when you get a girlfriend and you forget all your friends

[ananemus]

You forgot one. Stabbing your friend can sabotage a friendship.

[frostbite]

*BEST LESSON I HAVE EVER LEARNED CONCERNING FRIENDS*

Do not sell things/involve money with your friends

[AM-gvdb]

It's good to break up with old friends sometimes. I used to have 3 really close friends and we did everything together, but then the 3 of them went to London for 4 weeks without telling me anything until it was too late for me to come with them. They never apologized or seemed to care about leaving me behind. After that I started to realize how bad they'd treated me and each other for all these years. Lying, stealing, sleeping with each others boyfriends/love interests, verbally abusing each other etc. I'm not gonna say I was a prime example of a friend, but they truly did some horrible things to me that "friends" would never do. I'm glad I broke contact with them, even though I haven't really gotten any close girl friends after that.

[SiimLand]

In my opinion, one of the biggest friendship killers is change itself. People change and so do their priorities. We tend to stay the same person with our friends and rarely improve. It's like that value-shift you mentioned - we start living a different life and our friends remain in their own world. I've accepted the fact that 80% of the people aren't willing to go as far as I am. It's fine, I'm doing it for other reasons.

[zeal]

For anyone worried about loosing friends based on the last point, if you make friends based on core values and not interests you're more likley to stay freinds long term!

*it's about finding middle ground not being 100% the same*

[jupiter]

I used to be very considerate to the point where people started to take advantage of me so I tend to focus on myself now rather then others

[benghiskahn]

Here's the key: Don't tell anyone what you intend to do, just do it yourself and for yourself and allow the results to demonstrate themselves.

[hammode]

One thing people NEED to know is to not make someone feel like they're higher than you in whatever way or they're more important than you when making NEW friends, because then they will feel that they're "too good for you" and often let go of you. this happened to me and i deffinitely learned from my mistake.

[JonahBaker]

I'm just impressed that you and your roommate floss so often.

[quartkneek]

If "Mr. Guilt Trip" ever resurfaces to give you grief about not calling, I hope you remind him that the phone works both ways.

[sageoftruth]

Great video. The part about being inconsiderate really spoke to me.


I've got a roommate/friend who just spent two whole days assembling my new PC for me after helping me decide which parts to order online. The guy lives and breathes computers and while I did chip in a little, with my cash and by stepping in occasionally to help out, it doesn't change the fact that he chose to work from home for a day, so he'd have more time to work on building my new PC.


I'm used to expressing gratitude with words of thanks, but he's clearly a person of action. The weekend is coming up and thanks to this video, I feel like doing something for him. I'm not sure what exactly, but I want him to know that I'm grateful, and that I'm not taking this for granted. Maybe I'll just declare a certain day of the weekend to be his day and let him decide what we should do, or where we should spend our time for the day.

[blackadder]

The guilt tripping is a good point to bring up, i've had friends do this to me countless times and I always call them out for it. That doesn't work on me.

[frrizo]

Wait hold up, teach us how to actually make friends first mate

[Sam.Wendorf]

Conversely, the best way to keep a really good friendship strong is to be really forward about your flaws and the things you may have done to break your previous friendships. Got someone you really care about? Tell them all of the flaws you dislike most about yourself, ask them to let you know when you're pushing their boundaries, and listen when they tell you what they don't like.

I was a toxic person in my last close friendship, but my current one has been unbelievably smooth and wonderful and feel-good for all involved because I learned from my mistakes and told her exactly why that previous friendship didn't work out, so she knows I'm aware of what I'm doing and we can work together on keeping the relationship strong. It's never, ever a bad idea to admit your flaws and ask for help improving yourself for the sake of another person. More often than not, the person you're improving yourself for will be super flattered that you want to get better for them.