1 Year After the Military...it's tough

I never expected my first year out of the military to be like this. Simple things such as just getting up and out of bed in the morning or the feeling of worthlessness hit me pretty hard.

It took months for me to feel "normal" again and feel like I belonged.

It's tough for me to open up like this but I wanted to share this message to help normalize Veterans sharing their stories and struggles to seek help.

I'm lucky that I had a big support system including my parents and girlfriend Sara...but to anyone who doesn't have this please reach out to someone.

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[diercire]

Thanks for sharing, sir. It's a process, but the longer we keep at it, each day gets easier. Your videos have helped keep me motivated through some pretty rough days so realize that even during some of your darker days, you were still pulling some of us up.

[NotASnowflake]

Army Vet here, brother our new mission is just life. I had to treat small civilian life's issues as my new mission. Like taking the grandbabies to the park. I'd schedule the day out and my mission. I'd set a goal for each mission. I'm much better at it now being out since 2008. It was very hard for me because I didn't want out of the military. I came home on leave for the birth of my niece and was hit by a drunk driver and ended up in a coma for 39 days, told I was never going to walk again and went through a grave depression. While in the coma I had my first back surgery. Took me nearly 7 months in a wheel chair, then onto a cane and just 10 years ago on Halloween I came off the cane, walk on my own and fianaly ride my Harley. You got this brother. Loved this video because so many of us don't speak about this and more of us need to.

[Shadey]

Many veterans tell me they wish they never got out, this really explains why. Thank you for taking the courage to make this video.

[redsalmon]

My son joined the Navy in 2019. I remind him to have a plan when his five years is up and be ready to transition out. I always tell him to go to the gym to destress. Five years will go by quick. Lots to learn and see

[lifewithadaemon]

I searched for something like this to find understanding, my husband was medically discharged, he's still struggling 7 years later, you talk about self image struggles he gained a lot of weight, AIT gave him a hernia, and he's told by doctors not to lift things over 20 pounds. the said thing is is he didn't have the support of your gf when he got out, it took me coming from Canada, to help him get the paper work to get veterans benefits, because he had no idea where to go or what to do. the struggle is real.. and having to get it through the people around us, his family, our friends that the avolition hits super hard, and its common among vets. thank you for your service

[raysaguerrero]

Thank you for your vulnerability in sharing your experience. As a veteran myself this felt like you were narrating my first two years transitioning. What has helped me now is therapy and finding a support group of fellow veterans.

[michaelthomas]

I served 21 years active duty (4.5 years Army, 16.5 years Navy). Taking care of yourself is huge! The gym, mental health appointments, physical therapy, etc. are all very important. Owning your mornings is a huge step in the right direction. Great video!!

[justinechamelle]

I had a feeling you were struggling. Your videos weren’t the same anymore. But I’m proud of you for being open and honest.

[djricecakes]

Navy 09-16. It was difficult finding the replacement for the Navy. Tough to find a good job with good benefits. Great video, truly inspirational.

[laurennordbeck]

I am transitioning out of the military soon and I really needed to hear this so thank you!

[pharma]

My life started when I quit the military. I always felt the military held me back, and slowed my progression. I honestly wish I never joined.
I was pleading for a discharge 2 years in. That was 15 years ago, and life has been quite amazing.
I hope everything becomes brighter for you on your way forward.

[mikefulp]

I retired from the Marine Corps after 20 years, in 2004. I a good job as a test technician. I worked that job for 11 years, being a supervisor for 7 years. When I got laid off, i started my own business. After 4 years I shut it down for various reasons. Now iam working a semi retirement job. Everyone has a different experience, i got out and never looked back. I just kept moving forward . I loved my military career and wouldn't trade it for the world, however it doesn't define me or limit me. It made me stronger 😊

[numberiforgot]

This is exactly why I took community college courses while I was in. Little by little I got a compsci degree and the day I got out was also my graduation day.

[originalredrangerfan]

Definitely can relate to this. I was medically discharged 18 months ago after serving for 9 years. I’m still struggling. But finding new hobbies, and taking it one day at a time helps.

[theregularjoepodcast]

Brought me to tears man. You are not alone by any means. I go through and went through the exact same things down to a T. Proud of you.

[clairefinley]

Sounds like depression and honestly it makes sense given the "loss" of your team and your sense of belonging to the military. Depression is not a chronic and permanent condition. Its so important you share the realities of being human and how you were able to help yourself move through it. Thank you!!!

[christiandelossantos]

Wow, completely said everything I've feeling/thinking for the past year and a half. Returning to civilian life is a long hard journey dude. I didn't think it was normal honestly, watched this video and now I guess it really is. Thank you for the great video, opened my mindset a bit to work on changing for the better.

[nocapbussin]

The first 6 months to a year after I got out was really hard. The loneliness is the worst.

But... there is nothing more valuable than the freedom and not dealing with officers and 20+ year Chiefs who are institutionalized and lost their ability to think critically years ago.

Edit:

The military takes a piece of our soul whether we realize it or not. It is a job that no one in a post industrial world understands.

In times past the warrior class of society had a key role and that role was admired and respected. Today, in the post social media, post tinder, post college party scene era, we who are natural warriors have no place in this society.

I was lucky because my deployments for what my mission was usually lasted under 6 months so I was able to come home and experience the disconnect from American civilians and the rest of the world. I had a bit of a buffer that most servicemen don't. When you are in Afghanistan, or Iraq, or Africa, for prolonged periods of time experiencing the fuckery that goes on and then you come home to people who don't care about you, it throws your brain into a blender. All that meant everything to you means nothing to common masses.

If you were a football player or an actor or a musical entertainer, you'd be treated like royalty, but in America, nobody cares if you are a veteran. They play the game with all the "Thank you for your service" cliches, but nobody really cares. The Vietnam Vets were the first to experience this shock and it went down hill from there. Society is an apathetic cesspool of hyper narcissism, psychopathy, and hedonism. There's no balance. Everything that once had meaning has become a meme, a sort of ironic joke in itself. And it's not getting better.

All you can do is hunker down and brace for impact because American society is collapsing under its own plethora of instabilities. You gotta be strong and face it when it finally gets here.

[HALFRlCAN]

Didn’t know I needed to see this until now, I’ve been dealing with the same exact thing and really have thought I was alone. The dark days are heavy, but I’m trying to keep fighting. Thank you for sharing this

[Henselt]

A way I deal with time management is from a friend of mine but has been very beneficial to myself, it's to be your own officer and soldier. Have two modes, officer and soldier. You make a plan for tomorrow as an officer. Then when you wake up you adopt the soldier mindset and complete your day plan to the very end. You don't let any emotions sway you off your plan. Keeps me disciplined. On a long run beforehand I would quit the second it started to hurt, but knowing I was in a soldier frame of mind I went to the very end and did whatever.

After I finish roughly 5-6 hours of solid work and 1-2 hours at the gym. I'm able to relax and be free to do whatever I want.

Hope it helps