What Everyone Gets WRONG About INFJs

#infj #mbti #16personalities

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[SmittenKitten.]

I don't enjoy diffusing arguments, but I do it because a quiet atmosphere is the best atmosphere. If there's any tension within my purview, even if it has nothing to do with me, it's like a needle poking my brain telling me to "handle it."

[NoxiousNova]

I hate when people say we are detached from reality. From other's perspective, it SEEMS like we are out of touch with reality. I have come to find that countless times people say I'm overthinking or over analyzing things and creating ideas in my head that aren't true, only to find out much later on that I've always been right. It's a reoccuring theme. I've since then learned to just completely ignore anyone who says I'm overthinking a situation too much. No, no I am You are just not seeing what I am seeing.

[lunanor]

Thank you for describing INFJs in a real way

[sagemaster]

As an INFJ I have this resting bitch face and I sometimes have to look happy so that people don't think I'm angry.
And I more empathetic to other peoples emotions rather then my own but I also have deep emotions for things like music, movies or the arts.

[fortune_roses]

I'm INTJ. Closest people in my life are *INFJs* & INFPs ♡ PS: Never betray an INFJ. They're loyal but can be surprisingly vengeful if truly crossed. You're welcome.

Update: I wasn't on the receiving end but a witness. Those saying "They do nothing" please speak for yourselves :D All INFJs are different and some of them certainly do. Also "vengeance" means *vastly different things* to different people.

[eden]

That last one really helped me see myself in a different light.. It's also super accurate. I'm very much in tune with reality, just in a different way than others might be.
Also my ESTP and ENFJ friends caused me to open up over the course of MANY years.. I recommend every INFJ to find safe friends to open up to. It's really helpful for personal growth. They can hold you accountable and help you avoid pitfalls.. you can't do it all by yourself, INFJ. 😊

[RachelL]

Yes, all of this is true. I find it strange being called a feeler, probably because they are stereotypically shown as criers and unable to be logical. I’m very calm in most situations and I look for a peaceful and well considered solution. Infj introverted thinking is often under appreciated when people describe how we handle life. Thank you for your accuracy and insight 😊

[cycnusable]

My sister (INFJ) and myself (INTJ) together make the perfect witnesses to any incident/crime! She always pays attention to the people detail whereas I pay attention the chain of events.

[JokerCrowe]

When saying INFJs "avoid conflict, " some people might think that it means that we "run away as soon as voices are raised."

However, I see it more like "avoiding a tree when driving a car."

That is to say, we keep an eye out for potential points of conflict - using Ni and Fe - and if we see something approaching, we quickly resolve the misunderstanding before it grows into a conflict.

Or sometimes we redirect the conversation entirely if we know that the people involved won't back down.

Like you said, Nathan, we don't run away. We solve.

[bengaltiger]

Merry Christmas!
Thank you so much for helping this 61 yr understand herself. I spent my life looking into the world, and not feeling like I was a part of the world.

[jaimeflor]

Yeah, I’m not emotional in the way that’s typically considered emotional. In fact, I thought I was a thinker when I was younger. If I do express my emotions, it’s usually only w/ someone I’m involved w/ romantically via writing or music. As for being diplomatic & disconnected w/ the real world, this is very true. I work & study in the sociology and counseling fields. Being present in the real world, being detailed & focused on my own emotions, has always been challenging. Although as I’ve gotten older, I’ve become a little bit better w/ Se and shadow functions like Fi.

[samuelmyllyaho]

My dad's friend's (entp) wife is an Infj. One factor that may affect them being stereotyped as 'not being in reality', is that they don't talk a lot unless they really have something to say. To me their observational nature sometimes seems like they're judging and thus I sometimes feel intimidated by 'em

[kachuleinchen]

This is spot on, as always! I'm definitely focused on other people's emotions and very much a receiver/sponge in this sense... however, when it comes to my own emotions I'm quite disconnected from them as my inner world is so Ti and I always rationalise my feelings. The Fe very much ties me to people/the real world and I do wish I could cut that cord sometimes... I'd also say I'm a perfectionist when it comes to the sensory world. While I tend to be conflict-avoidant in many ways, if I do engage in a conflict, so to speak, I always do it in what I deem the most diplomatic and effective way as I would like to resolve the conflict calmly, maturely, and peacefully, and hopefully create a better outcome for all parties involved.

[yoongoongi]

My INTP coworker made the mistake of thinking I’m not emotional because he’s not a hint of emotional and I must have been just mirroring his ways to make him feel comfortable and then when I had a bad period in life and was EXTREMELY emotional he wasn’t respecting my feelings and I grew to hate him lol My aunt also thinks I’m this really strong, stoic person because I don’t share that side of myself with her because she’s tough and I don’t feel it would be received well and she always says, “You’re like me, tough and no nonsense.” I mean I cried for three hours on Saturday but sure lol

[mokari]

Ni: does it matter in the whole scheme of things (seen as conflict avoidant)... it does help however to have conflict resolution skills... which requires practice.
Fe: Receptive of other people's perspective... or values (what they find important).
Ti: what is the wisest and most sensible way to approach live's problems... while building community and social wellbeing.
SE: THIS IS ALL A PIPEDREAM, go out an live a little!! Look better, feel better, and WHAT are you DOING about it?!?!

[lisaoutinen]

Life overwhelms me and I do get emotional.

[KazKindred]

Thank you so much for this video! One of the most difficult parts of being an INFJ is feeling simultaneously too logical to be a feeler and too emotional to be a pure thinker. I’m often attracted to the cool logic of INTJs, but find most INTPs too logical and unnecessarily dismissive of the feelings of others. INFJs are put together as very similar to INFPs, but in my experience we’re completely different. INFJs feel much more like a strange combination of an INTJ and ENTP (and some ENFJ) than anything else lmao. Unless they’re evolved enough, I tend to find INFPs entirely too weepy and unable to stand up for themselves (not an insult, simply an observation; mature INFPs are lovely). In my experience, mature INFJs are basically nothing like the stereotypes you mentioned in the video. As the most extroverted introvert type, we can eventually come off as extremely confident and charismatic (again, a strange combination of an INTJ and an ENTP), but always with that uncanny sense of knowing that we have about people and situations. But gods, I am so tired of INFJs being described as fragile and quiet 😭 The reason we make good therapists (especially when we learn to enforce boundaries) is that we don’t only know things about people or feel compassionate, but we can see and tell the truths people need to hear. We have steel in us which becomes more clear as we evolve. You’d think from descriptions we were some sort of inflatable gas station creature. Although those are amusing, they aren’t particularly accurate. Once we work through the (seemingly universal) childhood trauma and anxiety, INFJs tend to be fairly well-equipped for life and standing up for our beliefs (any situation except for loud parties with people we don’t know though, lmao ).

[sara.the.muggle]

I scan people so much that it can be exhausting. I anticipate the different ways that people may react to a stimulus based on my observations of their facial expressions, tone of voice, words, and body movements. I'm wondering if this scanning comes from fear or simply observation.

Also, do any infjs have moments of "Holy crap, this is reality?" It's a sensation similar to waking up from a dream. It's like the air around me shifts and physical reality hits me like a ton of bricks. Inside our heads is so much more comforting. Maybe we are in the matrix 😂

[grumpyschnauzer]

Thank you for the Christmas gift of understanding us and communicating us authentically and precisely to the world. 😊

[AudenimLock]

Came back to this vid and I love this part!

1:30 “Those who want peace should prepare for war”