Understanding NPD and How to Spot Abuse

No Restraint for those with Narcissistic Personality Disorder
Complex Borderline Personality Disorder: How Coexisting Conditions Affect Your BPD and How You Can Gain Emotional Balance. Available at:

Order The Borderline Personality Disorder Workbook by Dr. Fox:

In this video, I discuss the pain and consequence of being on the receiving end of a narcissistic who has no filter. Narcissistic impulsivity is typically focused on self-enhancing, aggressive, and short-sighted behavior. They don’t focus on the consequence because they don’t believe they have to. The no filter concept is typically displayed through verbal and behavioral expression. I think it, so I can say it; I want it, so I have every right to do it. Many times this is fueled by the lack of insight into how their behavior may be perceived or felt by others.

Having no filter can feel good and powerful for those along the narcissistic spectrum, adding to self-enhancing, aggressive, and short-sighted behavior, but it tends to create short-term benefits with long-term adverse consequences. However, due to lack of insight they often feel that they are the victim when shown how their words or behavior, and lack of filter, has caused the problem.

This can be exceptionally challenging when it’s a partner, a boss or a supervisor as they tend to say and do things that are destructive to the receiving individuals self-esteem and stress level.

The best way to deal with the narcissistic individual with a broken filter is to insulate yourself. You do this by defining your sense of self, recognizing that you control your value. I know this is scary when it’s your job or degree that’s on the line.

Daniel J. Fox, Ph.D., is a licensed psychologist in Texas, international speaker, and a multi-award winning author. He has been specializing in the treatment and assessment of individuals with personality disorders for over 15 years in the state and federal prison system, universities, and in private practice. His specialty areas include personality disorders, ethics, burnout prevention, and emotional intelligence.

He has published several articles in these areas and is the author of:

Complex Borderline Personality Disorder: How Coexisting Conditions Affect Your BPD and How You Can Gain Emotional Balance. Available at:

Animation by sirak @sirakoart (IG)
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[jnetcl]

This really works. My narcissist ex bf tried to destroy my self confidence. I had to remind myself of all my values and have strength to stay away. Thank you.

[zeddeka]

Another great video! Otto Kernberg believed that Narcissism was a defence mechanism against an underlying borderline personality. It'd be great to hear your thoughts on that.

[iamgoddessoflove]

Narcissists create their own pitfalls. They invite negativity, but don't want to own up to it… And when they try to sabotage others, they end up sabotaging themselves. 💙YouTuber That Helps People Overcome Toxic Relationships

[lissacablerware]

Thank you Dr Fox. This is perhaps the most frustrating aspect of most encounters with the individual. The other walks away completely confused and bewildered 😕 if we haven’t parted by saying something mean or destructive as a defence. This is truly crazy making. It explains why no contact ends up being the only remedy. This video was timely after a recent unexpected encounter where exactly this occurred.

[bebaaskaful]

My mother is a narcissist. She raised me, so I dont have a scence of self. And it is called BPD clinically. I belive and I scenced it on my skin that they avoid emotions more than BPD avoids pain, abondonment and lonlliness. Especially vulnerability and love.

[TheDavveponken]

This is so valuable. Thank you. Very simple explanation of narcissistic traits.

[bryanmccaffrey]

I'm studying psych again after 30 years. Diagnosed ASD Level One a few years ago. This video finally explained the difference between personality disorders and ASD in a very direct way. Intent. I'm studying ASD and personality disorders. The first pass seeming overlap is frustrating for everyone involved.

[valenciawalker]

Thank you, Ive noticed this in some individuals. it can be challenging to deal with these individuals whether family members or partner. in grad school for psychology. its definitely important .

[deannabryan]

Also a broken filter can come from a brain injury also.

[Pancakelover]

one of my friends shares many of these symptoms so thank you for teaching me about this disorder

[terrapintravels]

This concept is very helpful. I wish I had, had it in the relationship with my husband but I can work on it now. Thank you.

[turtlehatching]

Thanks for the great advice as I procrastinate about visiting my father. Thank you

[godzillamanstreb]

👏👏👏👏….finally got it after decades of npd abuse….I mean, who knew in the 80’s 90’s early 2K’s???

[PsychologistAnand]

മലയാളത്തിൽ ഞാൻ സൈക്കോളജി ചാനൽ ഉടമയാണ്. ഈ ഇംഗ്ലീഷ് ചാനൽ എന്തായാലും ഒരു നല്ല ചാനൽ ആണ്. ഈ ചാനൽ ആണ് എന്റെ പ്രചോദനം

[jaklumen]

Dr. Fox, please will you elaborate how this broken filter shows up with covert narcissists? My observations so far is that the covert narc I know guards it a bit in public, but weaponizes it in private- e.g., what I call "the TMFI bomb". What works somewhat of late is saying "Mom, you're doing it again"- she is experiencing old age with Parkinson's. I'm not able to go No Contact because of financial entanglements.

[mantisgrl]

I was going for physiotherapy after a concussion and the physiotherapist was a textbook grandiose narcissist. Every session, he’d make a no filter back-handed comment about my outfit and stare at my body in an intense, creepy way. He would just stare and stare at me, as if he was studying me. He did the bare minimum at his job and wanted to talk about himself and his life more than help me. He got extremely personal with me and would inundate me with weird, grey-area sexual innuendos and double entendres. At one point I thought we had a connection or something because he acted so excited to see me and we’d have these deep chats. Nah. It was all an act. I just fed his ego by being nice and listening to his bs. When I asked questions relating to my condition, he’d arrogantly dismiss me and make me feel stupid, like there was nothing wrong with me in the first place. He had no empathy for all the pain I was in and disregarded me completely by the end of it.

[anewrae]

Thanks a ton Dr., this is really helpful!

[Yamikaiba]

This is so bizarre. I've gained tremendous long-term benefit from the feedback I've received in response to my Unfiltered words and behaviour. Honestly, I think I make up for lacklustre insight by interacting boldy, earnestly, and honestly, with others and giving full welcome and attention to the results and responses. Otherwise, I'd have little way of understanding how I affect those around me.

[dianaeliczi]

Thank you so much for your important content💜

[yurielcundangan]

The fact that they were aRResting people running against them really shows you that revolting was necessary