Narcissists hurt you for their own relevance

Narcissistic abuse is an undeniable crisis. Discover Healing, Empowerment, and Authentic Living...

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The Royal We has helped Millions to escape the grip of narcissistic abuse. Here’s a deeper look into what narcissistic abuse looks like and steps to heal from it:

Narcissistic abuse looks like:

Lack of Empathy: Narcissists often show little to no empathy for others, making it easy for them to manipulate and exploit. Narcissists use various tactics such as gaslighting, love bombing, and devaluation to control and dominate their victims.

Common Tactics Used in Narcissistic Abuse:

Gaslighting: Making the victim doubt their own reality and sanity.
Love Bombing: Showering the victim with excessive attention and affection to gain control.

Devaluation: Undermining the victim’s self-worth through criticism, belittling, and emotional neglect.

Isolation: Cutting the victim off from their support systems to increase dependency on the abuser.

Triangulation: Using others to create jealousy or competition, keeping the victim feeling insecure.
Healing from Narcissistic Abuse

How to begin healing from narcissistic abuse:
Understand that you have been enduring narcissistic abuse. This awareness is the first step toward healing.

Get Help:

Establish No Contact or Low Contact:

Limit or completely cut off communication with the narcissistic abuser. This helps you gain emotional distance and begin your healing journey.
Rebuild Your Self-Esteem:

Engage in activities that boost your confidence and self-worth. Surround yourself with supportive, positive people who value and respect you.
Educate Yourself:

Learn about narcissistic abuse and its effects. Knowledge is empowering and can help you recognize patterns and avoid future toxic relationships.
Practice Self-Care:

Prioritize your physical, emotional, and mental well-being. Regular exercise, a healthy diet, adequate sleep, and mindfulness practices can all contribute to your recovery.
Set Boundaries:

Develop and maintain healthy boundaries in all your relationships.

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[danitajminer]

"I'm sorry you feel that way" is a classic narc statement. 😢

[Magdalene]

Delighting in the misfortune of others is a sign of an envious creature

[shellyfilippi]

They want to come back into your life to create more pain and hurt it's never going to stop as the saga continues the lies continue the harm will continue it doesn't stop.

[jddr]

You'll NEVER get closure from the narcissist!! Never! Walk away and do not look back!

[fzrms]

I've never met a narcissist that would acknowledge any pain they caused. They certainly don't apologize for anything.

[pangorban]

This is something I worked out a long time ago, even before I became acquainted with narcissism. I often noticed that with certain people, their tone of voice and body language when they'd talk about how they've hurt others is identical to bragging.

[christineribone]

They've fixed it so that you can't talk with them honestly. Whatever you say would become fuel for them to sling back at you. Their goal is NOT to cooperate with you, and NOT to resolve the problem. They're NOT going to give you what you want and need. You are a toy to them, a toy to break.

Just know that no one can deal with them on an intimate level. Thats why they were alone when you met them.

[julianterris]

I love that line: "Thanks ks for showing me who you are" 🎯

[CodOsc]

You're not going to get closure with an emotional unhealthy person. And you are not going to get closure with an individual who causes chaos and confusion.

[shellyfilippi]

I was called twice by two people that I never want to see or speak to again. They are never sorry. They desperate for anything any kind of attention it's disgusting.

[angelacahill]

Yes this is excellent insight and advice! I agree 100%. Rendering an abuser irrelevant is best. Becoming indifferent to them is best. Protecting your own peace is paramount.

[rochellet]

Closure? Heck no. I don't need that. I have seen enough insanity. I am off the hamster wheel for good.

[writer]

Yes. Narcissists say and do things so that when you call them out on it, they can go "Yay, you saw and heard me--I'm important!" Their behavior is ALL of the sake of attention and validation. (They lacked healthy attention in childhood.) Hence, when you ignore them they find someone else to lie to and manipulate because they can't get through to you.... I've had to ignore certain people in my personal and professional life because I see their true colors.

[timegoesby]

You are absolutely right Kevin, in saying to don't tell people they hurt us. Because anyway that is innocuous: If they are people who have affection for you, they are not blind and know what they did. If they are narcissists, they did on purpose and tell them will only give supply.

[ct]

Relevance...that's the appropriate word. Like the kid in the back of the class that doesn't understand the assignment. But g dammit they can make the class stop and notice them by creating a scene.

[joannturi]

I've learned to make a complete joke out of them, especially at the hight of their rampage. I sit back and eat the popcorn. I've had their heads spinning literally like the Exorcist movie. I pull that out of them while they trigger themselves in their state of falsely accusing you of the thing that they're doing to you. You have to be given the gift of discernment. They will be on best behavior if you're lucky. Again through embarrassment they may learn especially because of their pride.

[melisherwood]

He used to tell me not to take what he said and did “personally” - that was just the way he was - he had an avoidant relationship style.

[twalk]

this was a good one!
Nicely done. I had this conversation with my daughter a week ago as she was distraught on how terrible her dad treated her and how awful and out of control she felt. “Why does he not listen? I tried to explain things to him how I am feeling and he just turns it back around onto me lie I was the one who did something wrong.” It took everything in me NOT to call or textsplain to him how bad his actions and words were affecting our daughter but I refrained because I knew it would just start a feeding frenzy from him and nothing would get better except that her dad would feel better and justified in his actions because I just baby her . Instead I told her to write her “stuff” down and that is what she takes when she goes to her next therapy session and work it out there. because she will never get any kind of answers from him. I thankfully have stopped asking the question of “ Why does he treat me that way “ awhile ago however I did catch myself saying “ How can my parents treat me this way especially when I tell them how hurtful it is?” a week ago. Being surrounded with narc energy is exhausting but getting better at blocking it out. Like you said “ Just because someone doesn’t see the value you that you bring to the table doesn’t mean you don’t have any value. It just means that you pick up your value and worth and share it with someone who holds your worth just as high as you do. Don’t waste your time and energy on trying to prove your worth to someone who is not capable or willing to see it”. My daughter is actually way more intelligent when it comes to working on yourself, building yourself up and recognizing and loving all of the special parts of yourself than I am. That being said, it still hurts when you have a parent who is supposed to be a child’s safe space whether you are 6, 22 or 51yrs old and yet you have to emotionally protect yourself from them because they are an unsafe person to be around.

[AllanI]

Be strong! Or they will perpetuate and feed off your pain.(no contact)

[RachelSmith-vmjt]

Since I know, from past experience with my x, the family member I deal with now gets a lot of my silence. ❤🎉 The evil is astonishing. Take, take, take and then blame me for having nothing else to give.