How To Make A CPU

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How to make a CPU from scratch (any% speedrun glitchless):

1) Get a rock.
2) Smash the rock.
3) Now you have 98% concentrated silicon dioxide. Purify it to 99.9% pure silicon dioxide.
4) Purify it further to 99.9999999% polysilicon metal.
5) Put the polysilicon ingots into a crucible.
6) Heat the silicon ingots to 1698 °K.
7) Take a small seed monocrystal and dip it into the vat of molten silicon.
8) Slowly pull the crystal out as it cools.
9) Now, you've a monocrystal of pure silicon. Cut it into thin slices.
10) Now, you've got pristine freshly-cut silicon wafers. Optionally, dope them with Boron, Phosphorus or another dopant.
11) Put photoresist on the wafer.
12) Take a chromium-etched photo-lithographic quartz mask with your desired circuit pattern and shine a laser beam through it to project the circuit pattern onto the wafer.
13) The locations of the shadows produced by the photo-mask will control where the photo-resist is chemically changed on the surface of the silicon wafer (depending on whether you used positive or negative photoresist).
14) Now, develop the photoresist.
15) Acid etch the exposed parts of the wafer.
16) Perform countless iterations and repetitions of homo-epitaxy, hetero-epitaxy, pseudo-epitaxy, diffusion doping, copper interconnect layers, chemical mechanical polishing, photoresist applications, acid etching, and photomask exposing to build up the desired features on the wafer.
17) Now you've got a finished silicon wafer. Cut it into pieces.
18) Now you've got un-packaged silicon dies. Locate the pads on the silicon chip, and attach bond wires, or use the flip-chip method as is done now for most modern processors.
19) Use the bond wires or solder balls to provide an electrical connection between the pins on the chip package, and the pads on the silicon die.

And that's how you make a CPU.

A text-based version of this video can be found here:

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I'm glad that I know how to make a C now.

Reichstaubenminister
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Find rock.
Give it life.
Play games on it.

JohnSmith
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Ah man, just created 100% pure silicone. Guess I have to start all over again

zekebeukes
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thanks for this great tutorial! this was super clear and easy to follow! I made CPUs with my kids this afternoon and they came out looking great and tasted even better!

cheshire
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We literally tricked a rock into thinking

archieklemstine
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"We tricked a rock into thinking by shooting it with controlled bursts of lightning" is my favorite description of making processing units.

benjaminoechsli
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"Dumb as a rock" doesn't sound quite as insulting anymore.

thetokutickler
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No intro, no unnecessary filler, straight to the point, amazing video. Thank you so much

condimentconsumer
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>get a rock
>melt rock
>inscribe ancient runes with powerful magic onto rock
>rock can think

xarodej
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1. Get rock.
2. Teach rock how to think.
3. Make rock think for you.

ChainPenguin
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Nice. Homemade is always better than store bought. Plus you know exactly what went into it.

sebastianwittenkamp
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Wow. How generous of you. To show the absolute whole process. From start to finish. Every step of the way. Most people would probably leave out stuff. But not you. Wow. Thank you.

martinstuvland
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Teacher: The task isn't that hard

The task:

pebble
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TONY STARK WAS ABLE TO BUILD THIS IN A CAVE

drunkdonutboy
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"Sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic"

murilovsilva
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This’ll help so much! I didn’t pack my laptop on my camping trip, but there’s rocks everywhere so I can just do this to get started with making a new pc! Tysm!

blccrfter
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Thank god I saw this before buying a CPU! Life saver!

TayajohMusic
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It's actually amazing that people figured this out.

GIGAMILKY
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I love how this is absolutely ridiculous and yet very accurate

dentReviews
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I had no idea it was this easy. Now I know how I'll be spending _my_ weekend 😊

Michael_Barrett