Can we resent and be angry at our parents and love them? #shorts #mentalhealth

Let's talk about childhood emotional neglect. Can we resent or be angry at our parents and love them at the same time? Let's talk about it... more on childhood emotional neglect on the channel! #shorts #mentalhealth #childhoodmemories

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[lorriredmon]

YES! I get that they gave only they knew, and I love them, but it still hurts and like you said, I'm really pissed that I have to learn to parent myself. I shouldn't have to do it. I'm 59 and only now learning to love and care for my inner child. Thanks for this.

[AnHeC]

No. No excuses. Not for people who are unwilling to own it. Most parents are stuck up and would rather die then admit to not being perfect. They deserve no love nor sympathy. Stop forgiving people who don't even have the decency to ask for it.

[crazyXninjaXfishy]

To forgive and to love is not to excuse and condone. They can be as fluid as faith. If we can get to feel that way on our journeys to healing, great. If not, that’s fine too

[camie]

Could you talk more about this topic in a longer video? It would be very helpful to hear your thoughts on this!

[denisethegood]

My parents never took me to the doctor - even after I broke bones or constantly complained about fatigue (my mom aged 80 now finally said ‘I never knew what being fatigued felt like until my 70’s, so I thought you were making it up’). When my mom saw a knife next to my bed, she said ‘don’t be stupid, don’t do such crazy stuff’ I was 15. Sure this was the 80’s, but now every day I live in physical pain because of those injuries not being taken care of on time, plus bpd, plus anxieties, no job, no relationship, zero self confidence. Of course it’s not all because of them, but … and I love my parents very very much, but …

[melissamason]

I have Borderline too. It's like an argument in my head going constantly saying, "I'm so relieved I now have a diagnosis." But then the other side says, "You're so stupid. How could you feel relief? Your broken, stupid, worthless and people can SEE you." My wise-brain says it's not true. As logical as my brain is it doesn't make the feelings go away.
I'm in an in-patient RRTP program at a VA hospital in Minnesota. I feel better-ish than I did 7 weeks ago and those inner thoughts aren't as loud. I just need to maintain and do the work when I'm out.

Katie, I just want you to know I love you. Your videos help me. I feel better after watching them because they give me a lot to think about. ♡

[Jerbrousky]

Only to a certain extent. That was a very broad spectrum… there are parents who truly don’t deserve your time anymore

[MissTiff]

This is something I'm currently working on in therapy. I definitely have resentment for them not being present emotionally. I was always the middle man in the majority of familial issues between my siblings and parents as well. Constantly being pulled but with no idea of what I was supposed to be doing. My dad passed in 2018 and often I feel like I've surpassed my mom emotionally which is so very frustrating because I want my mom to parent me, not the other way around. My brain struggles to process this tbh. Which is also why I'm working on boundaries for the first time in my 38yrs.
Love your channel.

[dinahnicest]

Whenever my parents didn't like what I said, they shut me up. So they went to their graves without us ever discussing and repairing the damage. Late in her life, Mom seemed to have suspected, and one time she took the conversation close. But I expected the same old reaction, so I steered the conversation far away. I've known for a long time that it wouldn't do them any good to understand the mistakes they made in parenting. They'll never do it again either way. An understanding of what they had done would only have given them a punishment far worse than the sum of all the whippings, slaps, groundings, withholdings, etc. they gave me.

[shyamalidasgupta]

I separated myself from my mother & brother - both cluster B, abusive & manipulative & exploitative

[sharmalarm]

My dad was an absent, alcoholic father as I was growing up. He cared much more about alcohol, work, dating women than he was interested in helping to bring up his only son, who loved him to bits. I still do. I’m hurt. I’m angry at times. But I’ve forgiven him, and with that, myself. Sometimes when it feels safe to talk about, we talk about it. He’s more open these days. He’s old and frail and doesn’t drink anymore. He’s dying of cancer. I understand why he was the way he was. I don’t have the energy to hate him. Luckily he’s no a narc so it’s cool to be around him and I enjoy his company. I haven’t seen him for 3 years. We’re going away for a weekend holiday in a couple weeks. I can’t wait!

[mollyjalene]

I learned this over the last few years. At times I struggle but I’ve always been very forgiving & always craved that relationship/bond with my mother so I’ve always dealt with a lot more than I should but I try to remind myself that she did the best she could & I’d rather have memories with her than regret if she ever passed away.

[MeMe-odmg]

I don't love them because I don't love narcissists. And I wasn't born to be their punch bag. Yet, I do enjoy reparinting my kid, aka my inner child, because I know she deserves better. Waaayy better!!! That helps me and it might help you too. 😉

[artwithmamafairybreadd]

I wish I hadn’t been so resentful, it ruined me as much as them. It hurt me in the long run more.
I didn’t see it then, but it’s really obvious now…I wish I ignored my mothers negativity and emotional abuse and just did my thing …I would be able to do it now, it I didn’t know then..I have already ruined a lot by staying resentful and focusing on the bad shit…I could have focused on the good stuff….that was crucial to make me and others happy…
It I didn’t…it’s like I had a choice but I chose being resentful, it got me nowhere…and I’ll be paying for it for many years…so if you read this…there always gonna be bad stuff to deal with….but there’s good things too you can focus on..
Really focus on the good stuff, the good relationships…you may have a shit one with mum, but maybe a loving fun one with Aunty..so hang out with Aunty….she can be your rock instead…and just let mum be a turd….I so wish I had done that…but instead I spent time with turds and forgot the good people were even there….it would have made all the difference…💩

[RobertWGreaves]

My parents were destructive. I don’t know what their story was, they are both dead now, and I have never shed a tear. I repaired myself. No hard feelings just no real connection or attachment to them.

[kzgktpz]

But I needed to go no contact because they wouldnt change their behaviour towards me. Still mourning but now I know my BPD is the result of all the emocional and physical violence they did to me. I believe if the universe gives you negativity you give the same back and if your parents give you pathology what do they're gonna have...? Yes...

[danielbarrera]

Omg. Thanks for whoever had the courage to say that because I feel that way too - especially about inner child work.

Like wow... Thanks a lot for your lack of good parenting.. Now I have to not only parent myself but just how to even do that at all.

Would be nice for that stuff to just kind of fall into place naturally without any effort or learning on my part...

Also I hate that you're suffering too but I don't want to suffer myself by holding on to you when I know it's not helping me grow.

[viola]

I forgive my parents for being immature but I don’t want to have any thing to do with them as now they expect me to look after them. I do only what I think is needed or necessary. I can’t make myself to go extra mile and love them 🤷‍♀️😟

[MMStrademark]

I could be really angry at my Parents for what happened to me when I was younger, but instead I choose not to go that path. It’s true I did not have a normal upbringing, but looking back my Parents were always there for me & if they were not, then they would always send a family member like an Aunt to help me out. I feel rather lucky my Parents were there for me, it’s just frustrating, because today I still have no proof this happened so nobody believes me, but I feel it did happen to me when I was younger.

[KristinaFerrarino]

Question: if your parent was on the extreme end of this spectrum … if he was someone who was a malignant narcissist, a criminal, abusive physically, emotionally, and generally a scary person, Does “ holding an open heart “ for a dangerous person seem logical? I learned self regulation on my own . I grew, and learned to know how to communicate vulnerability and appropriately. I know he had issues, and I don’t hate him, but I also feel relief he’s unalived himself because he can’t be a perp any longer . I held a space of fear, then apathy … then relief .