Caring for someone with cancer: Love Hurts | Olinda Santin | TEDxQueensUniversityBelfast

[mflynn]

My lovely wife Julie, has stage four and her oncologist just said that 2023 Christmas may very well be her last, she is a fighter and we have three boys. I just had my second stroke in the past three yrs. I am 49. We need help. 😢

[johnmccarrick]

On Christmas three days ago, I took my mother to the hospital. To avoid overcrowding the lobby, I waited in my car. Hours pass. I finally pick her up. She breaks down into tears and tells me they found masses all over her body on the catscan. Cancer, caught far later than we should have. It's spread, we still don't know the full extent yet. Stage 4 seems likely.

The last few days have been exhausting already. Its only her and I. Practically overnight I'm now the one who is forced to be responsible for her. I have to drive her everywhere, I have to do all the housework, I have to schedule her medical appointments. I'm not upset about that, it's just all so sudden and I'm very tried.

I can't really describe my emotions. Right now I'm just hollow. We live hours away from any other family. My friends are the tether that keeps me from dropping off the deep end.

I just wanted to say, I don't need to imagine. This is my reality now and I'm resentful for it. This video made me feel validated and gave me more courage to stay strong for her. Thank you.

[janingham]

Bang on…. My best friend, my person, my other half of my being…. My beloved husband passed away 6 months this week. And he was loved and cared for … by our health team…. And ME. It was the hardest thing I have ever done…. Watch my sweet gentle man suffer and die … bit by bit…. Til the last weekend. Watching and caring for him.

Not to take the care and attention away from my husband but boy did I feel neglected…. No one from the health team ever said to me…. how are you doing? Never was there an option for me to process the pre death diagnosis. Ray was… still is… my life. Watching your beloved die is so hard. I am trying to navigate through all the paperwork, the grief…. Every day I wish it was me that left.

[cyndimoring]

I’m a caregiver for my person. We live with 2 endgames. 1 is life and 1 is death. Limbo. Every day.

[alosolutionsfoodsafetyandn]

Such a powerful talk. Olinda is a brilliant storyteller and this expertly highlighted why the wellbeing of carers is crucial.

[timdurbin]

Brilliant message, let's hope the world is listening.

[helenalovelock]

I honestly don’t think i would be able to cope with a partner with cancer I really don’t think Im strong enough to do it. I would rather have the cancer and take the pain away from them. I’m scared of my partner getting cancer he has had some blood tests and has to go for a scan. I won’t be able to cope I know it. I have mental health issues anyway I won’t be able to be a good carer.