The 'Pick Me' to 'Boy Mom' Pipeline is REAL & DANGEROUS...

The "Pick Me" to "Boy Mom" Pipeline is REAL & DANGEROUS...Let's talk about toxic pick mes to toxic boy mom pipeline.

Watch More Salem Tovar:

Follow Salem Tovar:

About Salem: Hey! I’m Salem. I make commentary and video essays on anything I want to talk about. New videos every week! Make sure to subscribe and turn on post notifications so you never miss a new video.

#salemtovar #salem

[sizzlekitten]

Daughter of a black “boy mom.” I was literally chastised for everything I did that was not perfect. My brother got the princess treatment, no chores, no school pressure, and any gifts he wanted. She volunteered for his early elementary as a teacher’s aid to be by his side all day. That world was against black boys and she had to be his rock.

As an adult, my brother is completely incompetent. She tried to pawn him off on me to take care of him and I said no. He had no job, no education and no plan to get out, yet I was supposed to sacrifice everything for his comfort.

I went no contact with them.

[mithraperi]

There is an opposite trend by another Indian boy mom who says things like “teaching my son how to cook so he doesn’t believe that only women must cook and clean” “teaching my son that women do fall ill every month(periods) and it is okay if she takes rest and rejuvinates”

Now that’s refreshing content.

[amelia_airhead]

This phenomenon is so weird to me because when my brother got engaged my mom was so excited! She added my SIL to the family groupchat, invited her over just to hang out, taught her how to sew quilts when she expressed interest in learning, and told her she was honored to have her join the family. When your kids get married you don’t lose your child, you get an extra one! A bonus kid who loves your kid as much as you do! Why on earth would any mom not want that for her kid?

[GetBodiedSon]

As an adult man who grew up being raised by a boy mom, I had to spend years undoing the damage that caused me. Thanks for bringing light to the topic

[liliz-cr]

As an educator, I have observed that these kinds of moms really damage their sons. They create coddled, mama's boys who have a very hard time maintaining adult relationships. It is a very abusive way to parent a child. The boys will fear abandoning the dependent and inappropriately attached moms - they have trouble establishing their own independent lives. It is emotional Inn-Sest plain and simple.

[theoneandonly]

my cousin SA'd me... and when I spoke up his mom openly blamed me for it, saying "look at how she acts." I'm Mexican, and our family is so tight knit, so when all of this happened it took me YEARS for me to finally disentangle from them. The last time I saw them I didn't even aknowledge them, and it felt like such a big accomplishment.

[thethmusketeer]

When I was on a jury for a child SA case, the 36 year old defendant's mom took the stand as a character witness. Her whole "testimony" was just that her son could never have done something so heinous. She also tried saying that the victim had something to gain by reliving that trauma over and over in front of adults.

Needless to say, we gave that monster the max.

[clairemoore]

Really grinds my gears when I hear people say "boys are easier" when what they really mean is that they're not going to raise a son the same way they would a daughter

[ayooluwaadetola]

What I find ridiculous about boy-moms and girl-dad is that both concepts are rooted in misogyny.

[sunflowersandsand]

As a woman who grew up with two older sisters and two older brothers I can assure you that my mother treated us girls so differently from the boys. In fact her favorite golden child was my problematic brother who was always getting in trouble, but in my mother's eyes he can do no wrong. I grew up resenting my mom for how she treated us girls so harshly. Some women project their insecurities and jealous thoughts onto their daughters and other young women, unfortunately, hence why they usually detest when their straight sons start dating girls.

[candisecharmaine]

I dated a mamas boy… these women have no idea how they ruin their sons. It’s really selfish what they do and it robs these men of the opportunity to have normal happy families of their own.

[dogvoter]

Seeing these moms being mean to their OWN DAUGHTERS is sick and disgusting. Its the same women who will tell their daughters boys who are mean like them. The blantant pick me misogyny.

[faithcrisis]

As a parent of a boy, these women freak me out. It's not your child's job to be your emotional crutch. They are supposed to grow into a capable individual and make their own way in life. This is way more messed up than I could have ever imagined

[nicolawainwright]

As the daughter in law of a toxic boy mom can confirm that it feels even weirder/creepier in person than TikTok.
My nightmare in law once got so angry while my husband was in the ICU and he wanted me to help him to get to the toilet. She *literally* said “I don’t see why I have to leave there’s nothing down there I haven’t seen before” 😳 He was 29 and thankfully decided to go NC after that.

[zoescott]

I'm a mother of a boy, but not a "boy mom", but I DO have a monster in law. Hell even my own mother got jealous of me when her creepy ass boyfriend was being gross instead of kicking him out. Some women will see any other woman as a threat to their relationship even if it's unfounded, or the girl isn't the problem either, possibly even a victim. These types of women are dangerous, and I have noticed they are also often Karens.

[dewc]

My mother flat out said she'd be devastated if her son died, and being 12, I quickly asked, "What about your daughters?" Her reply was, "I have 3. I could lose a couple or all, and I'll be okay because at least i'd have my son."

[poroto_verde]

I worked with a woman who would NOT shut up about how handsome her only son was. It was super creepy. I worked with her for about 3 years. During that time, she would take pics of his armpits and show us how "adorable" his incoming pit hair was. She also mentioned that she was hoping he'd ask her to prom since he didn't have a date.
When I mentioned to her that it seemed slightly weird for her to say those things, she got really defensive and said that I would never understand because I don't have kids.
I don't...but I have parents and a brother and never once did my parents ever act thay way towards either of us.

[BebeHey]

As a sister with a brother, I never thought I'd say this but: I'm glad my mom is not completely feral and gave both me and my brother the privacy and space to mature and grow into our own people.
Thank you mom <3

[uninterestedYam]

I feel so bad for that football player whose Mom jumped on them. They probably know the dynamic is off from their friends, and that mom just publicly embarrassed him in front of Everyone. What a creepy mother

[krislynn]

“Pick Me Boy Moms” literally turn us daughters into needy people who are just looking for the validation we never received. We crave the love and acknowledgment they gave to our brothers and dads, so in relationships we tend to overcompensate and then overreact when we aren’t appreciated. (Watch how many girls/women reading my comment realize that having a “boy mom” mom is the root of all their failed relationships)