Nietzsche - Don’t Let Your Darkness Consume You

ABOUT THE VIDEO
_
In this video, I talk about Friedrich Nietzsche, blame, and resentment.

In On the Genealogy of Morals, Nietzsche compares the feeling of resentment to a toxin or an illness, because he believes that resentment is anti-life and anti-growth. This is a sentiment I agree with, and it’s an idea I wanna explore for myself. Why do we become resentful, what happens when we become resentful, and how do we prevent ourselves from becoming resentful?

So rejected entitlement leads to frustration, and accumulated frustration leads to resentment. And so the belief behind resentment, if I’m going to put it simply, is this: “you shouldn’t be in my way”. Resentment builds when I believe you’re preventing me from receiving what I’m entitled to. The resentful eye is always looking for someone to blame.

So how do we prevent ourselves from becoming resentful? In order to defuse all resentment in the mind, this idea has to be true: there’s a place in this world, and a way to that place, for everyone which can’t be denied by anyone except for themselves. In other words, it’s not possible for anyone to truly get in your way. That’s the idea that would have to be true for resentment to never build up in the mind.

OUR COURSES
_
Coming soon. Sign up to my newsletter to be notified when they release.

OUR MERCH
_
Coming soon. Sign up to my newsletter to be notified when they release.

OUR BOOKS
_

OUR FAVOURITE TOOLS
_

Adobe. The software I use to make my videos:

RELATED VIDEOS
_

CONNECT WITH US
_

CONNECT WITH ME
_

PODCAST
_

FURTHER READING
_

NOTES
_
(1) Videos are just my opinion, for entertainment and informational purposes. Just some things to think about—not advice.

(2) Some of the links in the description are affiliate links which I get a kickback from—at no extra cost to you.

[AuRoaraAnimations]

its so true
Ive never seen anyone carry resentment and win at the end

[dergerat_]

I'm a resentfull person and I agree with you a 100% that resentment is a choice, but its also a habbit.
In January I got stooped by the cops because I crossed a red light on my bike, the only thing I felt for those officers was pure hatred; they where pretty polite to the end although I was realy disrespectfull without insulting them.
Looking back it is as you said it felt like they where in my way.

[zekie]

*I love my parents now, but I might have been resentful to them if I had never been rebellious*

I love this video so much. Thanks for sharing. I agree-- there's no one to blame but yourself. You control your life!

Here's my story:

I grew up with strict parents. And of course, there's a point in my life where I felt like they were too restrictive about everything.

I wasn't really allowed to go out often, invite people over, etc... My parents basically expected me to focus on studies and follow everything that they tell me to do. Otherwise, I would be a bad son and a disrespectful child.

During my later high school years, I thought to myself "Enough is enough. If I don't rebel now, then I would waste my teen years being boring as fuck."

I would regularly sneak out, try out different shit, and basically do anything that I thought was fun. I didn't think of the consequences because all I had in mind was "fun"

I'm currently in my third year of college and I do not regret any of those experiences. I did what I wanted, and I enjoyed. I was free.

*Now imagine if I kept listening to my parents and succumbing to that fear...* I would probably hate my parents now for wasting my teenage years. I would probably resent them for keeping me restricted when I could've been having fun. I would probably *blame* them for my lack of fun experiences.

Thank god I had the balls to ignore the consequences and rebel. Not only did I have unforgettable experiences, but I actually love my parents now.

My key take away is this:
It doesn't matter what or who is in your way. If you don't work on what you want to do, then you will end up unhappy, hateful, and resentful. Find ways!

Just wanted to share this story lol, if you're still reading this-- Hi!

[thechancellor-]

To the *incredible person* that's seeing this, I wish you all the best in life❤ don't over blame yourself, accept things and go forward. Don't let others define what “success” is for you. Get up, learn the skills needed and get after it, all the keys to a happy life is in your hands. Keep pushing.

[simonpaul]

YOUR VIDEOS DO NOT MOTIVATE ME.
Whenever I feel lost in life I tend to go back to your new and old favourite videos and tune in while I tidy/clean. Every single time, I listen, I do not feel motivated but rather satisfied, calm and with peace in my mind. Rather than having a blurred map and having short bursts of motivation to find a new cool place, it feels more like the map is unblurred and I am able to navigate peacefully and reach the right destination.

Your work is important, it’s been since 2019. (First time I’ve commented) If it’s what you enjoy do not stop, please continue this beautiful work as it truly helps those who sometimes feel lost in life.

Thank you

[karimmedlej]

It’s true that you can’t prove that the “right” person doesn’t exist despite spending your entire life not finding them. However, you cannot deny the possibility that the “right” person also may not exist. It goes both ways.

If Finn spent his whole life trying to look for the right person and didn’t find them, he can’t say that that person definitely did not exist as a conclusion, but there is an undeniable possibility that he might be right as well.

Therefore, I don’t think the key to “avoiding resentment” is to always believe that there is something out there for me but I just haven’t found it yet. It might be true, but it might not.

The key would be acceptance that you may or may not find what you are looking for your entire life. It is your unique journey and adventure. Nothing is promised, but lots of wonderful things might be waiting. Accept and exist as you are.

[anujnair]

Nietzsche: don’t let your darkness consume you.

Also Nietzsche: let’s his darkness consume him.

[poorkido]

resentment arrise from surrendering yourself to the
darkness(means -- there is not way out)

So we need to have hope every single second so that we can get rid of resentment/the feeling of hopelessness (golden rule)

[Svemirsky]

Hope is not a strategy. Statistics matter. And you will get exactly what you are willing to tolerate.

[HobbesNJoe]

Amazing! Simple, short, concise and SO spot-on! I hope everyone sees this at the earliest possible time in their lives!

[TheDhammaHub]

If it really was someone else's fault, that would be bad news. We can't change other people remotely as well as ourselves

[FAscinATE]

I was just recently reading a book citing his studies and pursuit [Frankl] and now I am here. Nothing indeed is a coincidence. And so as this clip popping out of nowhere at my time of distress and confusion. May we all find our way through folks. Keep the faith.

[ursosexmachina]

It has consumed me. It drives me forward. It is the reason why I continue to live.

[RedShipsofSpainAgain]

As a self-professed resentful person, this was insightful. I'd like to posit a few counter-arguments however.

The conclusion of "keep up hope in the world" sounds optimistic and great. But the harsh reality is that lots of bad things happen to people, despite an abundance of hope.

We can use a few examples. Let's say Finn's goal was not to find a woman/partner/love, but rather to buy a house to live in. He's a very nice guy, but he works a minimum wage job, has tens of thousands of student loan debt (that he was tricked into agreeing to when he was barely 17 years old because all his teacher/parents/authority figures told him to), and despite living well below his means, can barely save any money each month because a huge percentage of his earnings go straight to rent.

He finds a house he wants to buy and walks into a bank to apply for a mortgage, the typical way most homes are purchased in our modern society. The bank takes a look at this meager savings, his high student loans, and his inability to even afford a down-payment, let alone the monthly mortgage payments.

The banks rejects his loan application.

Just as he is leaving the bank, he overhears a couple applying for a mortgage for the exact same house that he was just rejected for.
The couple is from California, they work in tech, earn well north of six-figures, have zero student loan debt, an outstanding credit score, and their parents set up a trust fund 30 years ago that has grown handsomely over the years.

The bank approves the couple's loan application. The couple buys the house using the loan that same day. They have essentially stolen the house right from Finn.

Now, Finn obviously feels rejected and resentful, both towards the bank, and towards the California couple, as both have essentially blocked him from his goals.

Now Finn can choose to naively have blind hope and naive optimism about "maybe I just haven't met the right house out there. I just have to stay positive." Well fast forward 20 years. Finn is now 50. Despite working hard, Finn never got much a financial edge, and was never able to qualify for a mortgage loan. He allowed his hope in the world to blind him that it was ever possible to afford a house in 2022-2023 when the housing supply was kept artificially low by politicians and home builders colluding together to drive up prices, by the Federal Reserve that has the privilege of setting interest rates and is allowed to legally print/counterfeit more money, by the Californians who had enormous purchasing power in buying a house due to how much their homes "appreciated" in value relative to the other 49 US states, etc.

TL, DR: He never was able to achieve his dream of owning a home.

What can we conclude from this all-too-common anecdote? Among several conclusions, we can conclude that hope in the world can be a very dangerous thing insofar as it is able to mislead you in your likelihood of getting what you want. For example, in our Capitalist world, if there are 100 people but only 65 houses, then 35 people will be unable to own a house. And the houses will be purchased by the 65 people with the most money. So it is IRRESPONSIBLE for Finn to continue clinging to hope that he will one day achieve his goal given that his earning power is two orders of magnitude lower than other buyers whom he is competing against.

No amount of (false) hope in the world will change that Finn simply cannot compete against wealthier competitors. A house seller with 37 offers from different buyers will of course "choose" the highest offer. So Finn's meager offer is laughed at and ignored.

The point is: it is dangerous to continue through life clinging to a hope that, in all likelihood, will not happen.
A man who is 5'1" can have hope that one day he will play professional basketball in the NBA, but that hope is dangerous since he is extremely likely to be rejected in favor of other candidates who are 7'3".

Competition among people in a society for limited resources is what causes this conflict, this being "blocked", and the logical resentment that arises from being blocked.

Competition breeds resentment among the people who are left out, as it should.
Competition among people for scarce resources is what leads to some people not getting what they want, not achieving their goal, which inevitably leads to resentment.

For example, with regards to women, biology has well documented the phenomenon of sexual competition of many males for females, who get to choose which male to mate with. This choosing will inevitably lead to one winner and several losers (rejects).

One of Nietzsche's chief complaints about Christianity was how it espoused not desiring things that people actually desired.
In this way, it rationalized that remaining in poverty and lying to oneself about not wanting things that they ACTUALLY DID WANT was rebranded and marketed as a value (e.g. "it is easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter heaven."). Nietzsche argued that this was fundamentally lying to oneself.

In the US (and much of the western world today), there is an unspoken social contract: Work hard and you too can achieve your dreams of a family, a house, a good job, etc. This known as "the American Dream". In reality, however, this social contract has been completely fractured in recent years: hard work and focus in no way guarantee that you will achieve your goals of the American Dream.

When a society's culture pushes beliefs about the world onto its people, and when the harsh reality of the world directly conflicts with those beliefs that had been indoctrinated into its people, this will inevitably lead to the people feeling that they have been lied to. That their society promised something that it was unable to deliver on. This leads to disappointment and resentment. It is, at its core, a conflict between the promises given by a society which are subsequently broken by the society that leads to this resentment.

[dragonmaster]

Recently finished Genealogy of Morals
Your interpretation and explanations are very helpful to me since it widens my perspective on polemics, readings, topics, and such!
Thank you for the educational and entertaining video 😄

[geetarg]

You are doing a great job.... I watched great number of motivational videos...nothing helps like ur videos do.... sometimes I wonder how come such valuable information is for free!! I feel blessed to have come across ur channel!!! Thank you!! Keep up the good work, I look forward to it as it really helps.

[zeegw]

The best channel in the entirety of YouTube, coming from the bottom of my heart thank you.

[saikeerthi]

This came right at the moment when I'm researching for faith I lost and just lost interest. Thank you for this very insightful discourse

[PanosAnomioum]

I think nietsche means that this place is the inner world. Moving by the inner cause and not from the external one.

[Actinuon]

I think why love was your resentment example is because it's so common. We're told at a young age that we are all deserving of love. But we quickly find out that was a lie, and we don't deserve a thing. So it turns into the people that find love repeating the mantra that we all deserve love, and those that were cast aside grumbling that it's all a bunch of bologna. Then we're bombarded with the mantra that if you aren't experiencing love, it must mean you're either a terrible person or unlovable. That just seals the deal.