How to be polite without being a simp

Three rules to be a courteous gentleman without becoming a pushover.

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Timestamps:
0:00 Intro
1:28 Rule 1
2:57 Rule 2
4:16 Rule 3
5:45 Bonus
6:44 Recap

[BobDobbs]

I agree that "I apologize" is more sincere than "Sorry." I think it's even more sincere to ask someone to accept your apology.

[iandougall]

As a British man who is getting increasingly fed up with Britain, I notice people say "sorry" all of the time but nobody actually apologises for anything when they should.

[JamesEinloth]

Universal advice: Do not repeat your words. If you are going to apologize, or explain something, or even say goodbye, there is no need to say it twice (unless asked to for clarity). Assume the people you are talking to have listened the first time, and that your words matter. Not repeating is a way of taking yourself seriously and indicating that others should do the same.

[kuramobay]

A simp is a guy who invests a lot of time and effort in a relationship and gets very little in return. That's a million miles from a guy just being polite.

[Andifined]

Little trivia to the German "sorry": the actual full way of saying "sorry" in German is "Ich bitte (Sie/dich) um Entschuldigung" which means "I ask/beg (thee/you) for clearing my guilt". The little detail here is, that it is your opposite person, that has the power to free you from your guilt, not yourself. Same in the english "excuse me". But nowadays it is shortened and simplified to just "Entschuldigung" or even just " 'tschuldigung".

[AndrewPierce-ti]

As an American, I've always been fascinated by British etiquette. Thanks James!

[NikolayKomarik]

I really appreciate how this guy politely gives you advice and understands that some of us might have made some of these mistakes in the past because none of us is perfect, and yet he carefully guides us to not repeat these mistakes again and become better versions of ourselves. That's more informative than the alpha-male self improvement gurus that we see nowadays. Truly a gentleman!

[goingplaces]

Stop using the word “sorry”…well, there goes Canada…😂👊🏻👍🏻

[rpmx]

Great video. I’m Australian with a very British upbringing, and am guilty of many of these things. 20 years living in Mexico has taught me to be more assertive and direct but I’ve always tried to stay true to my British gentleman values. I think you really nailed the middle ground.

[jolicska]

They love backstabbing behind the formal politeness.

[ChristopherFisher_]

The same thing can be said about the current “my bad”. To me that just seems like saying “sorry, not sorry” or blowing off responsibility for your actions

[angelagokool]

I know this channel is mostly aimed at men, but I think this would be good advice for women, too. I tend to over apologize. Usually, when I end up doing this, I haven't even done anything terrible, so it's probably just out of guilt. Maybe instead of saying "I'm sorry I was late, " I could say "I apologize for being late." Thanks for the video.

[markrose]

Passive aggressiveness is something I have experienced with many Brits and condescension when it comes to the differences between our languages

[jamesstrom]

The heart of manners is being aware of the feelings and needs of others, and balancing that with your own.
Never apologize unless you really mean it.

[timcleveland]

If your a man, refer to yourself as a man, not a person. Such as a gentleman. Or outdoorsman, you wouldn't say iam a outdoors person, or a Forman as a foreperson. Man up ! Man is all inclusive. Like mankind or humankind. Its always been understood.

[CanadaFree-cejn]

I was working with a young man, I jumped in half way in the shift to help him out doing a job I normally did; since I came in the middle I put up with the loud personal music (I asked him to turn it down but was still too loud). And the N-word and B-word coming out repeatedly in the music. The next day we took the same task together so I told him no more music as we are not working by ourselves, and even HR would tell you straight up N-word is not suitable for work. WELL he was slamming down staplers, kicking boxes, slamming down pens, he is almost 30 and was losing his shit that he could not have his music on. I ignored him and he left early so I finished up the job in peace. I did not acknowledge his anger, merely stated my boundaries with logic.

[PlayingTommy]

As a German I really enjoyed how you said "entschuldigung"

[YepImThatGuy]

The book of Proverbs in the bible has a lot of good advise that a young man can take too heart. As for me, before I was saved I read a lot about the civil war in America. I also did the reenacting as a Southern officer. One learns how to be direct all the while being polite. One day I did a talk as Gen. Morgan in Southern Ohio, when I was done a Lieutenant and I left the tent to go and do our thing. This woman came after me and started yelling about the war and my talk. She got so upset that her face was red and I thought she was going to have an aneurysm. It was like some playground where everyone just moved aside and watched the interaction take place. After answering her questions clearly without malice and seeing there was nothing else to say, I bid her farewell and turned to walk away. The woman then in her last attempt to embarrass me screamed "So tell me Gen. Morgan, WHO WON THE WAR!!!?" My response was simple. I turned and smiled, taking my hat from my head I bowed and asked her in return "My dear Lady, just what did you win?" My post isn't here to fuss over the issues of the civil war on its rights or wrongs, but rather, looking for a peaceful conclusion to end any conflict. Paul teaches in Romans 12:18 "If it be possible, as much as lieth in you, live peaceably with all men." So in light of James talking about men NOT being simps, yeah the Apostle was Not a simp. Great vid, thanks for sharing. Peace all

[teye-master]

In Spain, a phrase used effectively if you need space to pass somewhere: "Con permiso". I have found it useful also in English: "With your permission" at the same time extremely polite, and also putting the blame on the other person if 'physical contact' does ensue. You ASKED! I find people react pleasantly surprised!

[jeffreydaniels]

Although I don’t live in Chicago anymore, I was brought up and refined as a Gentleman in Chicago and London. Had the best teachers. The people in London appreciated my straight to the point Midwest way of talking. But they also recognized my diversely refined savvy when it came to the more refined social circles.