When you feel like Roommates in your Relationship

What to do when you feel like Roommates in your Relationship.
#relationshipproblems #intimacy #connection

[janepoppet]

Living with someone who's excessively avoidant, rigid, stubborn, dismissive and constantly unwilling to take part in those healthy interactions makes life very lonely. I know you've said before that said personality types can change but that's only if they want to or are self aware enough to recognise you as a real person.

[Polopollo]

I did everything in this video and I'm currently getting divorced after 12y. It takes more than these actions to make it work in the end. You also need to want to go on the same path in life as your partner. That's the true long goal I believe.

[dstkdcp]

And the good news: you CAN rebuild that connection! It's possible.

[mimi.garden]

My mom always said hugs heal. She's right. Real love hug makes a difference it changes your feelings, it feels so good to be relaxed and hug loved

[Ent]

I feel like I’m at a point where I’ve done the work, I’ve tried my best, of course still trying. But there is such a huge disconnect and my partner has been completely avoidant and detached/distant for so long now and due to a few factors, is in a dissociative state so that makes it so so much harder to connect on any level. And the feeling like roommates thing is killing me. As an anxious attachment style person, I can only handle so much and then I’ll start to shut down too. I’m really trying but more so focusing on “watering my own plant” and not obsessing over our relationship as much to try to stay somewhat sane during this.

[loveandhappiness]

I’m the avoidant one in my relationship. I have unhealed trauma and we all know that unhealed parts of our childhood show up as the problems in our adult relationships. My husband feels very neglected and he then does passive aggressive things out of anger and hurt. Then I get resentful because he does things to upset me on purpose. Then I distance myself even more. Then he does more mean things. It’s a vicious cycle and the problem builds on itself.

[blhand]

Thank you for the concrete bullet point plan. That’s something my therapist and I realized is that I like to go into the reasons and emotions of why stuff happened and it goes no where. It’s all concepts and not physical do or don’t do this type of stuff which is what I need for setting boundaries but also for getting stuff done. And building back my relationship with my husband is something I need done and literally didn’t know where to start. This gave me a solid foundation to work with and start from. This felt like a war plan and I felt inspired to try to fight again for my marriage. Thank you

[norcaljennifer]

Just finished Chapman's book last week. We are working on the experiment of loving intentionally. It is not complicated but not always easy. 😊

[awlig]

Ty for the affirmation, I asked this very question the other day because my husband and I have very different ideas about what spending time together means
Work in progress ❤

[robins]

Unfortunately, when trying to do anything to improve connection with someone in active addiction, it’s nearly impossible.

[choochoomama-bzev]

Impressed by your thoughtful & kind wisdom. Not only honored by the best of 'em but valued & appreciated by myself & many others I'm sure 💜👌
I especially thank you, but also all the experiences and/or persons that may have inspired or encouraged your unique & creative knowledge expressing the importance of exerting the empathetic endurance it can & should take to withstand stability within decent and sound relationships

[theConcernedWyvern]

I have autism and a residual anxiety disorder, so having regular conversations about boundaries and what my partner nweds from me are on the very top of the list ^-^
I havent met anyone yet, since I'm an introvert, live on the edge of nowhere and tend to spend most of my time online (not much else to do unless i want to shop at dollar tree or maybe take a 30 min drive just to get milk tea) but its good to know I'm ahead of the curve in that regard.

[brendaliz.arteaga]

I feel veryy sad and frustrated because I see this disconection in my parents relationship every day but neither of them are willing to talk nor listen to each other assuming all their misery is the others fault. The only thing I can do is learn NOT to screw it like them.

[VictoriaAleTro]

My husband hates looking in the eyes, he would try to avoid eye contact not to mention hugging, he would push me away. I’ve never felt so neglected and so abandoned by someone I trusted to be married to.

[CTHou]

You cannot build a relationship with with a neglectful narcissist. As time goes by they walk further and further away from the marriage while sitting on the couch doing nothing ignoring you.

I envy anybody in a healthy (non-narcissistic) relationship that can build closeness and trust with their partner

[hershebeauty]

I am going through your videos is tears. So many things are resonating in so many different ways and it's a bit overwhelming.

[wb]

Got my husband to finally open up to me and he said he’s been checked out the last 3 years of our marriage. During that three year span I repeatedly said I was unhappy with how our relationship was and asked him what I can do better. His response was that he was happy and thought everything was fine. We’re trying (I use that term loosely) to make it work. He’s a “nice guy” like your other video explains. I don’t know if I can get over his lack of communication or acknowledgement of my unhappiness.

[pvdm]

Would love to hug more because it gives me a feeling of calmness. But it does need do be kind of returned too.
I just need to find a way to explain it to him that a hug is more then 2 body's next to each other. That being intimate isn't only the s word

[nanny]

It takes two to Tango and narcissists don’t dance well.

[Animalsonlywantkindness]

If a partner has undiagnosed and unmanaged ADHD, the "roommates" situation can happen easily. The non-ADHD partner typically becomes resentful from being treated like a servant or a parent despite their unwillingness to be either. Demands for sex by the ADHD partner do NOTHING to help this dynamic