What YOU face when the narcissist GETS SICK

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DISCLAIMER: THIS INFORMATION IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR CLINICAL CARE. PLEASE CONSULT A HEALTH CARE PROVIDER FOR GUIDANCE SPECIFIC TO YOUR CASE. THIS VIDEO DISCUSSES NARCISSISM IN GENERAL.

THE VIDEO DOES NOT REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AND SHOULD NOT BE USED TO REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AS HAVING NARCISSISM. PERMISSION IS NOT GRANTED TO LINK TO OR REPOST THIS VIDEO, ESPECIALLY TO SUPPORT AN ALLEGATION THAT THE MAKERS OF THIS VIDEO BELIEVE, OR SUPPORT A CLAIM, THAT A SPECIFIC PERSON IS A NARCISSIST. THAT WOULD BE AN UNAUTHORIZED MISUSE OF THE VIDEO AND THE INFORMATION FEATURED IN IT.

[JustinHuang-mx]

You should do a video of how the narcissist will react when you get sick. Recently had that experience, they made it all about themselves and what an inconvenience it was for them.

[yukio_saito]

They take your caregiving for granted. 😮

[Shelley-jy]

I'm going through this right now, and I'm sick of it. They take no responsibility for themselves and keep ending up in the hospital. What's worse is the system itself and how crappy it's become. I'm over it. Thanks, Dr. Ramani for addressing this situation. It was very timely.

[Hodijo]

The narcissist has the ability to be sick on demand. Especially when they want to avoid responsibilities. 😂😂

[suzyhomeacre]

I recently cared for my 86 year old father while he had a near life ending emergency. He is a very bad enabler of my narc step mother, (76 years old.) They are complete toxicity together.
They both had the hospital & eventually the nursing home in chaos.
They yelled at everyone, including me.
My step mother royally raked me over the coals in front of the hospital social worker. I didn’t say anything. She looked entirely abusive.
I went into silent, shut down mode, & I’m grateful for that.
She made a complete fool out of herself.
It eventually became me that the health care personnel would call for updates and info.
During this extremely stressful period, I began to shake. At home, out the blue, I would just shake. I have never experienced anything like this. I had been away from that scene for some time before his health scare.
Apparently, it all affected me more than I knew and now, when I am home and safe, like an animal that escapes prey, I shake.
It is horrible, inconvenient & disturbing side effect of that abuse.
I now just let it happen and it’s slowly going away.
(Trust me, I went through more than shaking when I was fully immersed in narc abuse. )
Remember, when you may have to go back in, your body remembers too..
If you start to shake, hopefully you’re at home safe, & just shake it out.
These people wreak havoc on the nervous system too.
I’m so glad I have a new life farther away. Even being submerged for a bit again, took its toll..
Peace to you all.
I hope you can get out and stay out too.

[csfiskus]

Ones I knew milked their illness for unconditional sympathy, care, love, attention, validation and gifts on demand.

[lynettecamarillo]

Yes!! My experience was I got emergency surgery to get my appendix removed. He left me at the hospital because he was “too sleepy”… When I got discharged (on Mother’s Day) he told me to make sure I was ready to get picked up because he was going to be late to the gym..

Literally the next week he sprains his ankle. I drove him to the hospital but the nurses wouldn’t let me in with him so I left for a quick drive to kill time. He was so dramatic and said he couldn’t believe I just left him there. Mind you, I was nearby..

[robertgold]

Thank you for this. I’m fortunate to be too sick myself to offer any help to the narcissist in my life. Illness is protecting me from jumping back in to save the day. Your videos are reassuring and comforting, many thanks 🙏

[bronwyntanner]

My narc mother is 92. No contact with her since 2013. I know she is probably absolutely impossible to those around her. I will never break no contact. I don't deserve that stuff. I have no guilt

[Swiftygirl]

This could not have come at a better time. I am currently caring for my sick mother. It is very much hellish constantly enduring her comments and just to name a few of the things she said: "you don't deserve to live", "you should be the one dying, not me", "if I have to die I will take you down with me" "piece of shit" I made the mistake of allowing her to come to my home, after she promised while being hospitalized that she would behave well... Of course I was too vulnerable when I believed things could be different now. It is like reliving the abusive childhood, the yelling the cussing the rage outbursts and banging doors and everything needs to be done as she wishes and her triangulating speaking ill of me to anyone and everyone. And the fact that out of the whole family (she has sisters, a brother, another daughter) nobody else was willing or offered to give her a room at THEIR house. I can already feel this physically taking a toll on me. And don't know how much longer I will endure this.

[carolnimitz]

My narc husband was just told he has congestive heart failure….all hell has broke loose and somehow everything is my fault!

[amberpratt]

I experienced this. This is a very valuable video. It's very confusing, you can't do enough, when you set boundaries no one understands.... you're put into the adversary position and that's the last place you want to be, and the only one that protects you... The guilt and shame are immense even with validation from others. You can't, and shouldn't do it all. I wish i had an answer -- you're damned if you do, and damned if you don't. Just believe you'll be stronger on the other side, and give yourself time to heal.

[StrawberryFields-]

I feel like you just zipped open my life, looked inside and wrote about it. I’ve been dealing with this for 10 years, and yes when he got sick 2 years ago it went from bad bad bad, to so much worse. I’ve managed to step back, get counselling and watch your and Dr. Carters videos. Thank you for posting these, because I was in such a dark, confused place before I understood who and what I’m dealing with. I am getting stronger, and I’m so thankful for your work.

[lostinthelookingglas]

My mother's pregnancy with me kicked off a lifelong chronic illness. From the time I was small, she used her illness as an excuse to be cruel. I learned to think of her as a wounded animal lashing out in fear, and I tried so hard to take care of her, even when I was much too small for that responsibility. I spent my whole life being reminded that her suffering was a result of my existence.

[CatLady]

When they stand right next to you and talk while being sick and when you back away from them they say, "what?" and roll their eyes as though it's unreasonable to want to protect myself. I remember when Covid happened. He had not a care in the world about protecting himself from getting sick or protecting others from getting sick. He thought he knew better and more than everyone else. I was just waiting for our whole family to be taken down. And back when nobody knew what would happen, I felt so unprotected and terrified.

[Nancy-gi]

Fantastic video My five-year relationship ended a month ago. The decision to part ways with the love of my life is something that truly consumes me. Though it's all in vain, I've tried everything to get him back, and I can't fathom my life with anyone else. Even though I've made every effort to quit thinking about him, I can't help but miss him and can't stop thinking about him. Why I am stating this here is beyond me.

[kristelsmart]

Omg, that was the end game for us. My narc sister got sick, and she’d say things like “you could never handle what I’m going through” or “you’ve never experienced this much pain” (I drove myself to the hospital in labor, but I digress). Her expectations of the people trying to help her weren’t even reasonable. It’s like she wouldn’t be happy unless you set your own life on fire, and it STILL wouldn’t be enough. It was how we ended up no contact.

[GlitchComputer]

Omg I’ve encountered patients like this and it all so very true. There is a lot of pity and compassion burn out.

[GoalMentor]

Dr. Ramani, I’ve been living with a narcissistic partner, and your talks have been life-changing. In just a month, your videos have brought me so much healing and reassurance. Thank you for your invaluable guidance and the right outlook.

[Hatbox]

When a narcissist gets sick, that's when it really becomes hellish.