What is the bi cycle and are you on it? Fluid bisexuality explained

The bi cycle is something many of us bisexual people experience. This video explains what it is and how it can affect us.

It also discusses how the bi cycle can cause confusion and difficulty for some bi people and how we can learn to navigate our fluid bisexuality better.

If you are a fluid bisexual or you’d like to understand bisexuality more then this is for you.

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[kararemington]

I only learned about the bi cycle about a year ago and it was a lightbulb moment. I always thought I was just weird. I fluctuate in my attraction a couple times a month. I'll be super into girls, then guys, then everyone, then I'll have periods were I have 0 attraction to anyone. So nice to know it was not just me.

[laureliz]

Omg this is so validating and makes a lot of sense! I thought I was crazy or confused. Two years ago I nearly ended my marriage because I thought I might be lesbian and not bi. Now reflecting back it was a very intense bi cycle. I wish I knew this was a thing sooner and saved myself a lot of anguish

[lilypad]

Woahh this makes so much sense. I only just realized I was bi about a year and a half ago when I found myself liking this girl. She liked me back, and there was something there for a while. I was sad for months when she ended things, but what scared me even more was that as I started getting over those feelings I also started shifting away from liking girls so much. I had been extremely into women for a couple months, but suddenly I felt that sort of slipping into the background and I started liking guys more strongly again. Definitley made me question if my feelings for her had ever been real, so this video was much needed. Thank you so much!

[ethancanon]

My Ex boyfriend broke up with me because he suddenly started having strong attraction for women again after a year of relationship with me (M) and for him it was a sign that he is not bi "anymore" but straight. I talked about the Bi- Cycle and how it works and yet he broke up not because he doesn't love me anymore but because he misses female genitals that I don't have. So he didn't even try to separate the person that I am ( the emotional, intellectual connection) to my gender and that what hits most. He panicked and ran away instead of trying to understand it with me

[Cluedosu]

The bicycle is something with two wheels and allows you to travel faster than walking 😂

[coltthestarsheriff]

I wish i stumbled on someone like you during my adolescence years. It would have made things much easier and way less confusing.

[ulrikeklein]

Thanks for this amazing video. I am in a long-term happy relationship with a man and struggle a lot with bicycling and the instability of being bisexual. It feels so good to hear that it's okay and other bisexual people feel the same. <3

[drick]

I think coming to terms with and accepting the bi cycle/fluidity for what it is has been the most impactful thing for me in terms of accepting my bisexuality. Before knowing anything about it i found the fluidity of my preferences/desires to be a source of great confusion and anguish. Am i gay, am i straight, maybe i am in denial? Id ask myself. At some points in my life i have been like i love women, then in others i have been like i love transwomen (could have been considered a "chaser" it was that bad), then in certain circumstances i have been like i actually dig men more... and on and on we go. These cycles lasted from multiple years to mere days/weeks. So confusing and since i lacked the knowledge and the proper language to process it, I struggled to make sense of it all. But as you said its a completely normal occurence in bi people and should be embraced as such. Still super tricky to explain to non-bi folk without reinforcing the stereotypes of us being "confused" or lending credence to the idea we should just "pick a side"😅. All in all, i have the potential to be sexually attracted to all genders at all times, which is why i am bi, but my preferences are absolutely fluid which is also valid. Thank you for your informative video, i am learning so much from your channel!

[BeautyMonster]

Great video Mark, this really helped me understand how not to panic when I'm going through the bi cycle. Personally, I've heard most bi+ people say that going through the bi cycle is just confirmation for them that they're definitely bi and I can relate to that myself as well. I found this video completely validating and comforting since I do go through the bi cycle often. I found it really helpful.

I wouldn't be going through something like that if I didn't have the capacity to be attracted to multiple genders, although I do understand where the panic comes from because I've gone through it, especially right after coming out.

A fact about me up until this point is that I haven't dated any men since coming out as bisexual. I do in fact have a preference for women, which I believe I really figured out when I allowed myself the opportunity to date several women and explore that side of my sexuality.

Through doing that I realized how much I adore women and how strong my preference is for them when it comes to relationships.

Before I came out, I had only dated men. Of course, I had no idea what it was like being with a woman at all at that point but I still knew I was attracted to them.

I really related to lots of things you said in this video especially about the bi cycle panic happening around the time of coming out, finding that your attractions stick on certain genders for a long time, focusing very hard on the gender of individuals and having a hard time getting off of that, etc.

This video opened my mind and eyes a lot more to the possibility of me being able to fully accept the fact that I have a fluid sexuality and that doesn't mean that my sexuality in itself is a phase but that there can be phases within my sexuality without the sexuality itself being a phase and I think people really need to understand that about bisexuality and any fluid sexuality really.

I also really appreciate what you said about different types of attraction within sexuality. Such as romantic and sexual. That is very important to understand about every sexuality.

Robyn Ochs definition of bisexuality mentions individuals having the capacity to be attracted to multiple genders, not necessarily at the same time, not necessarily in the same way and not necessarily to the same degree and I think that's a perfect way to define bisexuality as there are many ways that it can work and still be valid.

I also like how you brought up the point of how life changes can affect the way your sexuality behaves. I find that to be incredibly true in my own life. Things can always happen that make you feel differently towards certain genders and that's important to address and learn how to accept, so I appreciate you adding that point into this video.

Also, what you said about remembering that both gender and sex are spectrums was absolutely brilliant and incredibly true and it's really important that we bisexuals remember that considering the way our sexuality tends to work, with its' fluidity. The point is, it makes sense for bisexuals to operate fluidly when it comes to our sexuality, so it shouldn't be something to panic over. 🙂

[ILikeTallMen]

I’m opening myself up to accepting my Bi-ness more. I think that I can really repress it because of the shame I start feeling for feeling “not gay enough” or for feeling like I’m going to lose my “credibility” in my orientation, if that makes sense.

[indigochild-]

Thank you. This was really helpful. I needed the reminder of not seeing just the gender and focusing more on other aspects.

[Dusty_]

Thanks. This helps alot just hearing another person put it into words. Living that experience of fluidity, fluctuating back and forth can be anxiety inducing and knowing I'm not alone with this is consolation.

[johnrouze]

Today's topic is so appropriate in better understanding the significance of the "bi-cycle". The example of using a "spectrum" to evaluate desires works well for me. I appreciate this example and live by it; it calms the mind and keeps focus on what provides the best chance for happiness. Thank you.

[Grey-Fox_]

I have gradually been growing more comfortable with being bi but the bi-cycle and living in a homo-phobic (though growing more accepting) has made this a journey of endless stress, to the point where its hard to remember what peace feels like 😒.

[mihaelamars]

No wonder I'm constantly questioning my sexuality. It's exhausting.

[summerbreeze]

Wow! This is absolutely Amazing...Finally the explanation after 20 years!

[dang]

Good video! It's interesting that you touched upon the bicycle being affected by changes in people's lives as that's what happen to me.

[ididntsaythis]

Thank you! You have given me peace in my identity for the first time in almost twenty years.

[emiliobejel]

You have such an insight in sexuality that is really admirable. I agree with almost everything you say.