Meghan: Duchess of Sussex tells of miscarriage 'pain and grief' - BBC News

The Duchess of Sussex has revealed she had a miscarriage in July, writing in an article of feeling "an almost unbearable grief".

"I knew, as I clutched my firstborn child, that I was losing my second," Meghan said in a piece for the New York Times.

She went on to describe how she watched "my husband's heart break as he tried to hold the shattered pieces of mine".

Meghan wrote that "loss and pain have plagued every one of us in 2020".

The 39-year-old shared her experience to urge people to "commit to asking others, 'are you OK?'" over the Thanksgiving holiday in the US.

[Ostipherous]

Authentically asked, "Are you okay?" can open the door to so much. Make your ears sensitive to the response.

[samarhafeez]

Mental health Care is incredibly important for people suffering with fertility issues, miscarriages, still births etc.... Women's and men's mental health matters

[vipulnarang]

Some people hating her is beyond my imagination

[satyashardabobba]

Sad news ! Hope they will be able to handle it gradually as the time passes--- I went thro 2 miscarriages. Very difficult. Understand the pain and grief --- same for all, regardless who we are.

[dwentlandt]

I can’t imagine what it’s like to have or go through a miscarriage with a loved one. But I can tell you not enough people talk about the loss of a young child at all. We lost my granddaughter when she was 16 months old to a tragic accident. No one wanted to talk about how we were feeling or what we were going through. But many people started asking and continue to ask, “when are you going to have another baby? Some didn’t mean for that question to sound like they were asking when are we replacing our little girl. But, the majority did mean to ask that very thing. People don’t quite understand that a life isn’t replaceable. Most people that have asked didn’t know my daughter had a tubal ligation. But they have now changed the question to, when are you getting your tubes fixed so you can have another baby. The human race is a vile species. They would rather be hurtful rather than trying to be compassionate and kind. I think that family in the story as well as the Duchess are brave and strong for speaking up about miscarriage and loss.

[miamidolphinsfan]

Thank you Nicole & Steven, & the Duke & Duchess of Sussex. my late wife & I suffered 3 times with miscarriage. It's devastating and NOTHING ever gets you over it, because that sense of loss is *ALWAYS* with you. I will always know I was a father three times, even though my wife passed away without a live birth. I will always love Turner, Owen & Bobby Don (they were to be named after my Grandfather, Great-Great-Great Grandfather and my Uncle Robert Donald but always called Bobby Don in the family)

[jzer]

A lot of men need to realize that sometimes crying along with your wife IS being supportive.

[ysoldeclaireduffy]

I lost my baby to SIDS...she was 6 month old...nothing can describe the feeling...not even my family

[quinnmcdonald]

I am sorry they went through something like that like many others have experienced. It is really difficult to go through. I really felt she went through so much to the point where the stress must have been unbearable at some points. I'm very proud of Meghan and Harry.

[LisaMaryification]

“I tenderly held my first born in my arms as I was saying goodbye to my third". Chasing Light Finding Hope Through the Loss of Miscarriage, by Stephanie Tong

[manzoorahmadshaan]

As human we may have to face such mishaps. I am now 50 and have two children but in the very outset we had to face this problem three times and you need to know that we live in kashmir india. It had been very hard to overcome such a problem. What I know is that it was our love that helped us come out of this problem and now we have two children. Sorrowfully I want to say that the problem has haunted me in another way. My wife was lately advised to remove the uterus. Now my wife has undergone the same procedure. We are still in hospital. I want to say that the couple themselves need to be energetic. They need to have deep love and regard for each other.

[timemoore]

I had 3 miss miscarriages the last one is 6 months I have no kids I don’t get a chance to hold one this pain will go to the grave with me! You fill me this is so painful you don’t have to step on my shoes to fill my pain I am sorry Dear to hear this sad news I fill you because I was there I had it!!

[jackomile]

My husband and I suffered over ten years of infertility which included three failed attempts to adopt with our lates "failure" in September this year.
We are beyond devastated. I wish people would acknowledge the infinite and invisible pain of infertility and failed adoption - it's a silent suffering. I would LOVE to be asked by someone, anyone, "are you ok?".
Sometimes I have felt envious of women that had a miscarriage as they could share their pain with friends and family, get meals coooked, get cards, get acknowledged for their terrible loss - it feels like I am not allowed to grief because there is no one that I have lost as such.
Nobody seems to care when you are infertile and certainly not when you fail the adoption process even though we feel that we are literally bleeding to death.

[elizabethblas]

All the hate that is in this comment section is grotesque and baffling. Honestly how can people tell her to be quiet and keep ruining her husbands life. She was not the one who "ruined" her husbands life, it was those people who keep spewing hate at her. It is those same people who are upset that he chose to protect his wife and child from the hate and bullying by leaving a situation where almost everything had to be made public, into a situation where they get to chose what is public and what is not. To Meghan and Prince Harry, I am very sorry for your loss and hopefully by speaking about what happened to you, those who have also had this happen to them will feel more comfortable about speaking out and saying they are not okay and need help.

[chnalvr]

We don't know anyone's motives for speaking out, but clearly, Meghan and Harry sharing their loss publicly will likely help others who are going through similar circumstances. Let's leave judgement of motives aside and look at the potential good that is being done for people experiencing the pain of miscarriage. The message to talk about it is a helpful one.

[Vidya]

This woman does not know what a miscarriage feels like. Her entire life is one huge, theatrical performance! Who the hell "hums a lullaby" during the pain of a miscarriage? The pain alone would slap all rational thought out of your head. You would scream, or cry out in pain. If you're holding a baby, once you start feeling the pain, you would quickly put your baby down so that he/she would be out of danger!

[lauraragazzi]

Stephanie Tong had written a memoir called ‘Chasing Light: Finding Hope Through the Loss of Miscarriage’ (Ch.13, 2016) where she recounts the tragedy of a miscarriage. The text bears an incredible resemblance to what MM wrote on NYT. Strange

[zaidamaganda]

Until I went through one, I didn't realize you often actually go through labor. No one had mentioned that, exactly. It was one of the most intense experiences of being out of control, wanting to stop it. Packing the maternity clothes away a few weeks later was so sad. The feeling of finality.

[AS-qcxb]

Before believing what she announced, the people of public need to consider if she said the truth or one part of her damage control right after the Remembrance Day merching in the US. We need to have evidence.

[dianestafford]

My heart goes out to her. We miscarried Mama's must stand together