Why Do People Get Stuck In Unhappy Relationships?

[Jesussanchez-wiru]

Why does this feel like the same man having a conversation with his older self??

[actionlessaction]

Sometimes it can get very toxic. I remember how numb i used to feel, felt like I'm mentally dead but still existed. I remember waiting for a chance to take a deep breath.

[hailymitchell]

Another thing, people aren't there to simply make you happy. They're going through their own unique challenges and changing in their own ways, and sometimes it's worth sticking around when the going gets tough because you can be the most yourself with them. Good bad and ugly

[AidenCrabb-wf]

I so agree with this, about acknowledging your own insecurities, fears and feelings. Expectations you have for your life, you can’t expect someone to read your mind. Everyone is in alignment, the people that continue to grow together, and some are just built not to quit on someone. Lay all your cards out, fears, wants needs and concerns out before you commit to someone, that way you’ll be able to see how close you are to their goals and aspirations

[loriolson]

I agree. If the relationship is unbearable and abusive then get out but somethings can be worked out. People do seem to just give up instead of working on it.

[nala]

The worst of all is to be with someone who makes you feel you are alone.

[raymondvanderwalt]

I went through this unfortunately for 6 years whom I assumed was the love of my life until I lost my job and couldn't find anything. We have a 4 year old son and she has now officially told me we will never workout. I told her that social media was a way to find a new partner she told me to grow up. I am not insecure just have good pattern recognition.

[TheDjbutta]

Never forget that everybody is a person.

[anastasiawortham]

A good medium is learning to manage yourself and determining what you will and won't tolerate. You can communicate but you can't change someone who doesn't want to change. It's not your job to fix another person. You should absolutely walk away if the relationship isnt good for you. Because a relationship that isnt good for you is usually good for the other person so they have no incentive to care about your hurt. If you care and want to help them that's reasonable but they have to be doing most of the work to fix themselves. People aren't things and relationships are far more complicated than ownership. A thing can't hurt you. A thing can't display a pattern of behavior. A thing can't make choices. These are all actions a person consciously does everyday. Most people aren't good. Most people are selfish and lazy. Most people will take the path of least resistance and lowest effort all the way to their doom and happily drag you to hell with them. Relationships are mutual negotiated between 2 people and the rules are 2 yes 1 no. So when you hit the point that you say no to continuing then it's over. We've been consistently socialized to sacrifice our safety, autonomy, and personhood for others convenience all through the public school system. This is not a conducive mindset to have a successful relationship. It's better to be alone and content than to be lonely because of the company you keep.

[lucifer.rising]

This is a bad idea for people in abusive or exploitive relationships.

[haliec]

Because I do the most to be a better person, I assume others will do the same, this is why in the past I stuck around. Believing they will see the errors and make amends. None ever did.

[liviutza]

It’s because of fear. Fear of rejection, ridicule/stigma, violence from the one you leave, being alone, not having enough money to live, of not having a roof over your head, having to raise kids alone, etc. It is all about fear in my opinion (as a woman from Eastern EU).

[jamalgs]

It was painful. I saw how bad we got and why. I knew we needed a break and time to get ourselves together. They refused, feeling that would be giving up. When we never had time to heal the process to relax the tension, it led to kore fights until we both said things we couldn't take back. Love can be fragile... grow it stronger even in its most fragile moments

[bm__]

It’s such a delicate balance to get right. A lot of people definitely stay due to sunk cost fallacy, which can trap you for a very long time without you even realising. This can make you waste more time in something that isn’t progressing. Sometimes the hard choice is to let go and start again which terrifies people. We get to a point in life where we all have to realise this isn’t a dress rehearsal and the choices we make now have a wider impact on a future version of us out there. That act of bravery in itself and closing a door can bring you everything you’ve ever wanted or needed. It can also free up both parties to meet someone more compatible for them. I’ve actually seen this happen time and time again (with myself included). However that being said, every relationship will have challenges and sometimes it’s worth it to stick them out. I guess the question to ask yourself is “with every conflict are we growing together, learning and moving forward or are we pulling in opposite directions”. I believe when you’re with the right person challenges and conflict will always strengthen the relationship and not break it down. A good question to also ask yourself is "right now if nothing changed and how they are now is how they will always be, can I continue to exist in the same space and share my life with this person". If the thought of that fills you with dread and fear then you have your answer. Also if you’re only staying because you’re scared to be single that’s a really bad sign that you need to start learning how to self regulate and validate yourself. Because it’s down to us to get healthier so that we can show up healthier in all our relationships, otherwise you stay a victim all your life and continue to blame everyone and everything outside of yourself.

[LinMonash]

Sadly, most people 'fix' ruptures / cracks in relationships, not with 'Golden Lacquer', but with cheap rapid set 'glue' that gives a veneer of stability, but in reality is brittle and short-lived.

[thorie]

Question whether you're breaking up because of your own ego, or because of actual differences. An ego move is thinking you can do better, feeling right, feeling justified, feeling you deserve better than average or slightly below average. If that's the case, you don't know what a relationship is yet.

[xeropunt]

Innocent limitations are one thing, demolishing types need to be avoided. save yourself.

[L.O-pr]

Just get out if you experience abuse....you cannot fix the partner if they are not concious of the abuse.He is talking about repearing the relationship and for that, it takes two...usually in the toxic ones its only about one🙏😊.Thank me later!

[Billy-bcpk]

I feel bad -- I saw the thumbnail and thought that it was a cancer patient talking about how he was stuck in a bad relationship but because of his illness and it eating away at him that he had nowhere to go and was stuck in a bad relationship that only further deteriotated his health. I'm both glad and a bit ashamed that I was wrong about my initial presumptions.

[backintimealwyn]

never had a break and repair thing with my wife in 15 years. Had them with my exes. I don't regret dumping them att all. You should'nt break anything in your relationnship, especialy not trust. Working on oneself to not break anything is the key.