Best HFY Reddit Stories: Humans Are Cosmic Horrors

There in the void...

An original story written, and granted permission to narrate by u/Tibbhipsylous

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#hfy #Greentext #awesome #space #spaceorcs #/tg/ #greentexts #4chan

[SmolTerribleTornado]

imagine activating the comunications and all they can hear is a "WHAT'S UP FUCKERS!" from a human astronaut

[NaomeK]

Xenos : the sun is food. All is peace, All is good

Meanwhile on earth : In the grim darkness of the grimdark future, there is only grim darkness, dark grimness and WAR!

[Troleandocreyentes]

Aliens: maybe... they arent so bad.
Humans in the ship: For the god emperor!

[riccardocarretta]

Xenos: "HOW CAN YOU KEEP LIVING? HOW???"
Humanity: "spite is a hell of a motivation, you know?"

[mattyyttam]

Aliens: "sorry about trying to exterminate you"
Humans: "that was you guys?"
Aliens: "what did you think it was...the weather?"
Humans: yeah"

[Jack_RapidBuster]

Can confirm, I am indeed a cosmic horror, to the point that mirrors crack in my very presence!

[Adam-wxjp]

And then the humans meet these creatures that came from fluffy rainbow land immediately start protecting them because our pack bonding instinct

[AngloSaxonWheatFarmer]

“Thanks for astroid, we evolved because you knocked the lizards down a peg”

“Who are you ?”

“ *Your worst fucking nightmare* “

[danbingham]

That's an interesting idea. From the humans perspective its like "So you tried to kill us all because WE are evil? You don't see the irony there?"

[Hubba]

Aliens: "W-who are you?"
Humans: "We are a monument to all your sins."

[MartyrPandaGaming]

Human: Wait... So, you just went and caused several mass extinction events on our planet, be-

Alien: Yes, 5 or 6 at least.

Human: Right. Because you guys are all scared of this, Deathworld you called it?

Alien: Indeed. We only stopped because we realized it was only making you stronger!

Human: Man, you guys must have felt stupid. Well, don't worry. After hearing that, we'll show you how it's done.

Alien: Oh, good. Wait, what?

[unreasonable-man.bsky.social]

TLDR:
Poke the Earthers. Poke the Earthers. Poke the Earthers.
"Oh, gods! The Earthers are coming!"

[mrmanceres]

The lesson here is never poke a death world, it will poke back.

[TheFoxfiend]

Yeah... When humanity finds out that the aliens tried to kill their entire world not 1, not 2, but at least 3 times I don't think humanity will take it lightly.

[cameronknox]

Is there a part two? Would be interesting to see the humans reaction to the rest of the galaxy essentially being, well, the phrase, enough nutrients in the air that we basically don’t have to do anything, kind of encapsulates what we would find out there.

Also, completely and utterly insane giggling sounds can be heard from the outer dark of my screen, so take that how you will.

[redraptorx]

aliens: *cause several armageddons to try and wipe out humans*
humans: whatever doesn't kill us, better start either asking forgiveness or praying to their gods.... because if it's prayers we aren't listening.

[davidvincent]

With this story here we have the true history behind all the 40k like universes. The God of chaos our Gaia.

[gabrote]

Gaia is a strict, merciless but engaging, fun and ingenious mother. What folly to attempt to limit her to the prowess of whatever precursors seeded those worlds. Cool story, I hope they survive in peace :)

[thegrimcritic]

Xenos: “You humans are an abomination! You are a scourge upon creation, the essence of conflict, chaos, and voracity made flesh!”

Humans: “Sounds like a skill issue on your end, buckeroo.”

[Zakvadr]

The first human approaches the lectern before the Galactic council, near a thousand different species watched on in mixture’s of horror, fear and excitement. She stood before the leaders and military personnel in the building and spoke-

“We are Humanity, and we come in peace! Our home is hell enough and we want friends!”