Best HFY Reddit Stories: Humans Have Three Faces (r/HFY)

A paradox of contradictions!

An original story written, and granted permission to narrate by u/Nalothisal

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I am the Net Narrator. I will be narrating various tales from around the internet, which may be spooky, may be creepy, may be funny, may be awesome or may be something else. Stick around and play me while bored at work and enjoy!

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#hfy #Greentext #awesome #space #spaceorcs #/tg/ #greentexts #4chan

[Iluvantir]

"Why did you keep kicking him after he was down?"
"I wanted to win all future fights as well..."

Ender, Ender's Game

[xpgaming]

To quote the most accurate description of an angry human: "Rip and tear until it is done."

[ivanelias]

*Aliens nuke our colonies*

Humanity: *reloads shotgun with malicious intensions* :)

[calvingreene]

For our friend there's almost nothing we won't do for you.
For our enemies There is almost nothing we won't do to you.
Please be our friends.
--- Humanity

[RavenwolfFoxtrack]

Terra/ Earth is attacked with a nutron bomb, countless civilians and innocents killed.
All of Humanity:
"Rip and Tear, until it is done..."

[maxxammax]

Yup humanity can go full 40k grimdark when provoked.
Sounds pretty accurate.

[takirosh]

The main reason we can be so peaceful is because we've been so warlike, and do not want to do that again. But push us too hard...

[Athus]

Aliens: Declare war
Humans: *excited screaming
Aliens:bomb homeworld
Humans:*LOUD ANGRY SCREAMING
Aliens: painful crying
Humans: *sad screaming

Tldr we are always screaming

[phantomwraith]

That ending sentence had serious Doom vibes. "Rip and Tear until it is done."

[LezlyLikesYuri]

In the words of Isoroku Yamamoto, a Japanese Admiral who served during WW2:

"I fear all we have done is to awaken a sleeping giant and fill him with a terrible resolve."

This quote was made in the wake of the bombing of Pearl Harbor and speaks to the importance of foresight when engaging with an enemy. Be wary of escalation, for you know not what they are capable of if pushed to far...

[JoaoSoares-rsec]

If a human laugh, laugh whit him, if a human cries confort him, but if a human is silent run as fast as possible, in absolute terror.

[reivercaptain]

"I have lived my life taking deep revenge for slight offences. And I ask not forgiveness. Only tell me how bad my punishment in Hell will be." -Geordie Burn. Human quote the night before his execution. (Parts of this information have been adjusted for public viewing while preserving the core message, investigate Human history at your own peril. PSA by the Xanti council for interacting safely with humans.)

[jonusmanson]

The mistake the aliens did was using a neutron bomb on earth, not simply for the bombing itself, but they touched our boats. You don't touch our boats.

[broEye]

I'd say there's actually at least six faces. There's the one you show the world, hiding much of yourself to diplomatically portray what you can mean to those you see. The one you show at work is carefully crafted to display and apply your talents and impress both employers and customers. The one you show your family exposes a lot more of your vulnerability, but still hides some things, things you don't think would be understood, or things you feel ashamed of. The one you show your friends lets a lot of guards down, exposing things you only show to those that've earned your trust, or things you don't like sharing with people who don't "get it". The face you show to only yourself is much more honest, though you still may try to deny things even to yourself.

Then there's the face you show to your enemies. To the people you have no respect for, no love for, nothing but hate. This face doesn't just drop all the posing and positivity you try to show, it buries whatever remains. These people have no right to see your true smile; the only smile they deserve to see is one of malice. All your mercy, all your kindness and charity, everything is set aside until this foe has been dealt with.

[NeverQuiteAlex]

Humans greatest strength, and perhaps most terrifying trait, is efficiency. The alien races may fight their wars for honour or for territory; humanity simply fights to win.

[owenhammond]

Generally Humans are not a War like people. We save it as a last resort if talking fails, so hope that you have a charismatic ambassador representing you. Since once we get into a war that then involves us taking off our "Gloves" so to speak there's little we won't do agenist our enemy.

[mattbrown]

I don't share my stories of 4 combat deployments and 2 "humanitarian deployments" over a 20-year career as an U.S. Army infantryman. However, I will say that the dichotomy of humans is amazing.

[TechNinjaSigma]

" *phew* almost lost my cool there"

[JohnJBrowne]

Terrains can either be your best friends or your worst enemies. Your choice but choose wisely.

[YDV]

Three faces, with the third face, the one you show yourself being the truest one? Nonsense. Must be a xeno translation error. There is a fourth face, the absolutely truest face, and you show that face to no one, least of all yourself. That is the face that comes out on its own when you have nothing else left.