5 Things I Wish I Had Known About My Husband As A New Bride

There are things we all wish we knew before we got married!
Weather you are young and newly married, or you have been married for many years, I hope this video can help and encourage you in your journey. 🥰

The books & video that I recommended in this video;

Love & Respect: The Love She Most Desires; The Respect He Desperately Needs
by Emerson Eggerichs
I believe there is a workbook that goes with this too.

The Nothing box video;

[Thomas-jorz]

You and your husband are the internet parental figures this generation needs

[mojo_joju]

My parents were never the philosophical sort. They are working-class folks, and that’s all they know and care about.
I had to raise myself with strangers or by YouTube videos. It’s sad, and lonely, but it’s the only life I’ve ever known.
Listening to people like you, and the wisdom you offer, it’s a godsend. It keeps me hoping that there’s a better life for a peasant like me.

So thank you. I really do appreciate it.

[jerryjobe]

I am 81 male -- this was the best video ever. This should be a MUST WATCH before every wedding and every six months after. Bless you for sharing.

[noahhernandez]

I want to say as a homegrown city boy from the rougher side of town, it’s really refreshing and inspiring to see you guys doing what you’re doin! Growing up in Atlanta you don’t get to see healthy examples of relationships/ marriages and especially good solid men. And I’m learning so much from you guys at 23, you’re even helping me patch things up with my daughters mother whom I hope to marry one day. Keep it up and thank you guys 🙏

[rachelroberts]

I'm a grandma. Been married, twice. My advice would be to decide what you want your life to look like and do not compromise. The right man will help you achieve it. Be patient and wait till you find him.

[RedArtistx]

Before getting married -
- Do not expect your husband to change for the better once you're married and with kids, because they often don't. It's just too hard for one thing to constantly go against the grain of their own personalities. That doesn't mean it's not possible to change, or that people never change, but don't put put all your hope on or make commitments thinking that good change is a guarantee.
- When trying to decide if to have kids or if to marry someone, and if you have doubts, ask yourself - what are his actions? Not what he says, but what does he actually end up DOING? It's easy enough to tell someone you love someone, most people like to hear it, but if it's not followed by actions, then the person you're with is either confused about what love is, or doesn't actually love you but is with you for other reasons. It's hard to realise that because you want to trust them and believe them, but you need to focus on the hard evidence. Ask yourself 'What kind of evidence have I witnessed to far that would lead me to think that he's going to be xyz once he's my husband or a father?' If you have witnessed experienced far more negative actions than positive (addiction issues, mood problems, bad with money, cheating, generally irresponsible) the likelyhood that this will change once you're married is very, very small. You are taking a huge risk by proceeding further. In fact, if you listen to many women, they will say their husbands changed for the worse when they had kids, simply because they knew their wife was vulnerable and not likely to leave. If he's neurotic, moody and bad tempered now with wait and see what he'll be like with lack of sleep and kids screeching around the house. Women often find out that their choice was a bad one when it's too late.
- It is not your job or spiritual duty to rehabilitate badly behaved or abusive men, to the cost of your own health or even safety. They are not your child. Do not take the responsibility of his bad childhood or parenting on your shoulders, or think you have to put up with awful behaviour or your needs not being met because you feel sad for him and his childhood or mental problems. If you want to rehabilitate something, try upcycling or painting some old furniture, or renovate a house. If you want to nurture, have kids. If you want to heal and develop, become a therapist of lifecoach (and then at least you'll be paid for it). Don't be one of those women who reach 50 and realise that all their efforts were all for nothing and he never actually did improve.
- If he doesn't take care of you nicely when you're ill, bin him. Some men view women as household appliances and do not like it at all when they malfunction. Many women find that out the hard way - when they have children, when they have to have na operation and need someone to step up so they can take it easy and heal after that. Some men will ignore their poor wives and leave them to handle everything by themselves, even if they've been told to rest by the doctors. Or those men might reluctantly 'help' you whilst sulking or giving you the silent treatment as your punishment for having to provide this service. Some men are mean with their money, but others are mean with their time and support. These are the types that expect you to dote on them when they're ill but they won't return the favour.
- Look up the meaning of 'strategic incompetence' and 'mental load'. Hopefully knowing about those two will help you avoid them.

[angeloreyes]

It’s so refreshing hearing a girl explain these dynamics and show how she’s made amends with them. Just so cool y’all found so much maturity in your own souls.

[mailejordan]

I am an extremely independent lady in a blue collar job, and I have been told from outside sources that I am a sigma. I’m working with myself currently to practice being a more feminine woman. I am always learning what it means to be a woman, and it is good to hear advice in this format, being so straightforward. please don’t tiptoe around the potential feelings of your audience too much. they’ll either like what you say and stay, or hate it and leave. those of us interested will benefit greatly from your bluntness.

[alexugattis]

I'm a liberal and open minded 38 years old guy from Brazil and I'm very thankful for having the opportunity to watch you and your husband talking to a camera in such a vulnerable and honest way right, in front of my face! Your opinions and advices about such controversial subjects are so agreeable and useful, that almost scares me!! I'm so happy that I've found you this channel!!

[dejavuwampas]

“Have grit, and give Grace.” Well said! Words to live by. You are an awesome role model for wives everywhere.
From a happily married man for 52 years.

[kennethmorris]

The conversation with the kids is best conversation you can have

[richardbaxter]

Outstanding advice. My wife and I have been married 60 years. Even though she has an anxiety disorder and was taught by her mother to despise her husband (because of her bad marriage) I could never walk out on my wife or divorce her because I would be turning my back on my God; and I can never do that. We both have a strong faith in God, and that is the foundation of our marriage. When you want to please God and be obedient to His commands, you treat your spouse and others with love and respect. This along with tolerance and understanding will solve a multitude of problems.

[Wylie.Burp]

You sound so sweet, and humble. I started on your husbands channel-mostly for my husband to listen to. I’m glad you started your own, I’d like to be the kind of wife a husband values and I’m excited to hear more from you. Mamas United!! ❤

[jimkraft]

Nice video. I am 83 and my wife is 82. We have been married for 63 years. There is nothing better than staying together for life. Not that it always happens, but that is what God intended and the benefits of it can not be explained.

[jeffthornerg]

I think your channel is a very important addition to your husband's channel . The young women of today I think should learn from your experience . I think it can literally save their lives . Thank you so much and keep doing what you're doing, I think it is very important. But yet another addition to all the hard work you do

[downunder]

I am a male, we are married for 40 years. You spoke wisdom, I was wondering why you were so cautious. You are spot on, I can not add anything more to your list. Lovely to listen to you both. May GOD Bless your work. Thank you.

[adriancaldwell]

I’m a 52 yr old male, recent divorcee from the uk and I learnt a lot from your reflections here. I loved to hear your traditional values on marriage, thank you

[keribaugh]

I loved and appreciated this! I am 54 year old woman, no children and never married. Even so, there is lots of wisdom and honesty here for me. So refreshing. The Divine Feminine and Divine Masculine takes many forms and you two display a beautiful expression of each. This made me proud to be a woman and a human being. Thank you for your courage for being so frank. ❤️

[xicanttl]

I have been with my wife since 1982. I believe that our success was in large part that we never used sex as a weapon and only rarely would one of us turn down the other’s advances. Satisfaction on both sides was important too. We also never fought over money even when money was short. We have always been great friends and have never denigrated the other. We have been two people sharing our lives together and so we have our own things but do them in the same place and never feel ignored if the other is busy with their activities. I think you have hit the nail on the head with your advice and I hope it helps others.

[claudiabarbiero]

I can't believe this was in my recommended. I didn't want this video to end because it resonated with me and validated so much of what I feel and undoubtedly what we all feel to some degree. It is frustrating, but at the same time, fascinating just how different men and women are in just about every aspect. I had never heard of the "nothing box" so I am super interested to look more into it! Conversations like these are so crucial for understanding ourselves and our partners better and ultimately having fulfilling relationships with those we love despite how challenging they can be at times. Thank you for this!