Renowned Therapist: 3 Ways To SAVE A Failing ADHD Relationship - Karen Doherty

Expect to learn:

👉 How a neurotypical can effectively communicate with a neurodivergent partner
👉 How to manage RSD in relationships
👉 Tips on how to make an ADHD marriage work

and SO MUCH MORE!

Karen Doherty is a fully qualified Psychosexual Therapist and Relationship Coach, with over 20 years experience and specialises in neurodiversity.

Topics:

01:07 What's the difference between a hyper obsession and real love?
04:18 How can a neurotypical partner effectively communicate with a neurodivergent partner
07:31 Is it hard for a neurotypical partner to understand emotional dysregulation?
08:17 How to manage RSD in relationships
16:01 How to take responsibility for your triggers
16:28 What makes a successful ADHD relationship
16:58 Does ADHD make divorce more likely?
18:10 Are ADHD people more likely to cheat?
19:11 What are the biggest cracks in ADHD relationships?
20:36 What does a toxic relationship look like?
22:51 The parent/child dynamic
26:03 3 warning signs of a failing relationship
27:49 Should you 'mask' in your relationship?
30:34 Are ADHD people hard to live with?
35:19 The importance of communication
36:16 Washing machine of woes
39:39 3 tips how to make a marriage work
40:29 3 positives about dating a neurodivergent person

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This episode has been produced for entertainment purposes only and is in no way meant to be taken as medical advice or advice in any way.

[leilap]

The non-ADHD/neurodivergent partner isn’t always the regulated one. My partner is frequently angry, and I often don’t even know why. I also do most of the household management as the neurodivergent. I still end up feeling like the inferior one. For example, being someone that has a hard time waking up early and getting to appointments on time, I am openly disparaged by my spouse. Since late diagnosis, I’m learning to reframe these differences as valid. If I had to describe how my partner feels about me, it would be annoyed and infuriated.

[prismonthethehorizon]

RSD is overwhelming to the point of feeling suicidal. Trust and a sense of safety in the relationship is so important!

WOW a therapist who really really understands ADHD, in all the years I've never come across someone so well informed. Can you please, please be my therapist, pretty please! 🙏 Seriously though I wish there were alot more people like you.

[whracing]

You say relationship, I say this is how our lives are in friendship aswel.

[lisahinton]

5:00 Oh, my gosh, this is exactly me. I haven't been diagnosed but more and more, I wonder.. about a lot. Something is amiss.

[antlerman]

I found this episode really helpful, thinking about my own 3 year relationship that started at university, thank you.

[scottbellisle]

I am a 56 y.o. male with both parts very hyper and very impulsive and nothing is gonna change that. I feel that the Hearst thing is that we feel completely
Misunderstood. Our whole lives and people still don’t understand us. We go from Hero to Zero in one remark. We lost before we start anything, period. Really sucks knowing that. Life don’t get easier with ADHD, so for me living alone is perfect.

Aloha from Tennessee

[___FS___]

I'm autistic and always have communication issues with my ADHD partner, I need long explanations with lots of context and he likes to spring information on me with no context whatsoever when I'm in the middle of thinking about something else, add delayed processing on and important conversations can be painful, especially when my questioning is taken as being argumentative

[josephagre]

I would love to hear about couples where both partners have ADHD/ ND. Iam in a couple like this and it comes with a lot at benefits and understanding but also with a lot of difficulty’s. Would love to hear an expert speak about it ❤❤❤.

[philip.t]

What an extreme privilege listening to Karen. Thank you so much for this. I've learned a lot.

[danddjacko]

I have ADHD and it was my wife that was sleeping around. I have never been unfaithful to anyone throughout my life

[solokaja]

Thank you SO much for this conversation! I am learning now how to takę positives from my neurodiversity rather than masking and adjusting. Hearing such nice words about ADHD makes me feel stronger.

[jomuldoon]

Amazing interview! Amazing woman! Thank you.

[whracing]

What a brilliantly thought out discussion. Loved this, and honestly made me realise and see some issues Iv had in the past as been because of issues spoken about within the video

[victoriusgrace]

What gets to me is that in my relationship my partner has BPD and I have ADHD, and I try very hard to keep in mind of the things that he needs for his BPD but he constantly tells me that my ADHD is an excuse and isn't actually a thing. So suddenly I'm the one doing all the chores, all the bills, all the cooking, and giving him the help he wants and needs, but then my side of things get pushed away before he thinks that adhd isn't real. Then he tells me that he was tested for it so he knows what it is but that it isn't anything and doesn't impact me at all.

But then on the flip side is that his sister is my best friend she has BPD and ADHD and we get along great and can point out or pick up on things in seconds and often before the other realizes that its happening.

[bringitbex]

I’ve been divorced twice, It was like a switch flicked off and it became a task after the wedding .. I felt I was weird and I’ve questioned it all ever since until my recent realisation that I have adhd

[rsh]

What a lovely episode - I also work in this space and love it so much, it's a total privilege and honour

[rachelmel]

Incredibly informative and helpful. Thank you so much.

[go-farm]

I really wish I'd found out I was ND and had seen this video 20 years ago before my marriage failed 😢

I'm in a fantastic relationship now, but I wish I hadn't lost what I had first time around 😢

[daneesledge]

I am lucky enough to be married to someone who allows me to ask clarifying questions when I am experiencing RSD. Unfortunately, because I didn’t know what it was, it took us a couple years to get to this place, but it is a game changer. That only can I ask him clarifying questions, but I’ll tell him it feels like he’s lying, and he will elaborate on what he really means

[sewaller]

😂 we know we are difficult to live with but I appreciate her response. 💚 🙏