Why You Need To Stop Trying To Change Him

If we're being totally honest with ourselves, we've all had that moment where even though we really liked someone, we still managed to find things about them that we wanted to change. The problem with dating someone because of their potential is that we're not getting to know who they really are. It goes without saying that there's no magic marker that will get rid of all your partner's quirks. If you really love someone, why would you want to change him?

That's why our experts Renee Jain, Jennifer S. Wilkov, Mary Morrissey, Carolyn R. Owens, and Crystal Kulpcavage stress the fact that while it's normal for people in a relationship to grow, they have to do it on their own. Honestly, people should only change because they want to, not because of outside factors. If we constantly seek out people who we feel need to change, then it either means that they are not the one for you or you may need to do some changing of your own. Their advice on why you shouldn't be with someone with the hopes that you can erase their less than desirable traits is totally spot on.

Follow YourTango:

[ZenRoseGarden]

This is so great! i think that letting go of expectation in our relationships is so important for women!

[omggiovi]

You can change someone, with positive reinforcement and negative reinforcement. 

[Sharperthanu]

I know someone WHO WANTS ME TO CHANGE HIM.He wants me to DO ANYTHING I WANT TO HIM.

[freshhug]

How do i change the woman I am with? talking doesn't work, she just feels threatened.

[JosiePyeXxX]

 I mean.. this is great?? but this is clearly the question I was asking when I came here.. I didn't really enjoy just listening to you guys asking those things.. was sorta looking for an answer.. for experts you really ask a lot of question. My husband is lazy and relies on me for everything..Can I change this?? or cause I made the mistake of marrying him.. am I just stuck with being his caregiver? How do I help him to change.. if he see's no reason to change... I mean..he makes it clear that he is extremely happy with how things are- How can I get him to actually see there are issues and that I need him to change.