How to Silence your Inner Mean Girl - Terri Cole

Do you have a ‘mean girl’ in your mind? You know – that voice that says you are not good enough? Or not pretty (or handsome) enough? That you can’t do it…that you’re never going to get what you want in life? Does that sound familiar at all? So many of us are still suffering from this ‘Inner Mean Girl’ syndrome. So let’s get real and talk about how to shut her up for good!

“Consciously doing nothing, IS doing something.” ~Terri Cole

Terri Cole is a licensed psychotherapist and global leading expert in female empowerment. For two decades, Terri has worked with some of the world’s most well-known personalities from international pop stars to Fortune 500 CEOs. Terri has a gift for making complex psychological concepts accessible, and then actionable so that clients and students achieve sustainable change i.e. true transformation. She empowers over 250,000 people weekly through her blog, social media platform, signature courses, Real Love Revolution and Boundary Bootcamp + her popular podcast, The Terri Cole Show. She is also the author of Boundary Boss-The Essential Guide to Talk True, Be Seen and (Finally) Live Free (April 2021)

WHERE TO FIND ME:

[nryane]

The inner “mean girl” is the ego and will always be there. However, I believe that I can talk to it and decide the things to which I will listen.

Awareness is important, in order to change. I used to be mean right back to the voice, and that didn’t work. So I changed how I talked to it.

And now, I tell it that I hear what “she” is saying and that I will keep her “advice” in mind.

If “she” is insistent or nasty, I now count back from 5 to 1, like for a rocket ship countdown, and the voice disappears.

For me, the critical voice is about both the future and the past. Because I am here, NOW, I realize that I need to FOCUS on the present.

It takes practice to notice that I’m “listening” to the inner critic. Yet, when I do, I can calm myself with the countdown into the present.

The “mean girl” in my inner life was very nasty to me. I wish that I had had the countdown technique earlier on in my life. The saying “better late than never” applies to me now.

Thanks for bringing the topic to people’s attention!

Blessings!

[boomerangsruckflug]

Self-love meditation helps me a lot. 💮🐝

[mlpskinner]

Hi Terri! Thank you for taking the time to write me back! My mom is Cuban descended, farther was American. She was a great mom growing up as a child ( a little narcissist in her appearance, also a LEO) but it has gotten worse just in her older age I've observed her being perfectionist...and a lot of projection etc...and putting me down, thankfully have the recognition of what's going on. I am learning how to set boundaries and limit my time with her ( she lives 1 hr away) I visit her once a week. I have a brother & his wife that is very removed from her...they live 5 mins from her, and never visit or bring her food if she's fallen he won't go over to help her- I have to drive down ( that's what I am dealing with, no support) my fear is they will place her in a home ( he has no love for her what so ever) she is ok still not ready for any home - she has girls to help her clean etc...its at the fundamental core that all human beings to feel safe, validated and Loved. She's always been there for me even still to this day as much as she can ( I do not mean monetary) I would LOVE to move to the Pacific NW LIKE YESTERDAY! LOL. ill continue to make short week trips out there and in the mean time..what it out...also she lost her son from her previous marriage in 97 at 36...it would kill her if I left her now. ( not that simple) I gotta find another husband..but I am being very selective because I am a empath and I attract narcissist...SO! ALL your relationship & red flag video are assisting me in that area! 😜 You have a beautiful soul thank you so much! xoxo

[ladylulu]

You are such a beautiful person. You're an angel for sure... reminding me to relax and that being is a very necessary doing... for sure!

[JovanaMiljanovic]

I've shared your video with my community as always because your message really resonated with me. Keep doing the great work and serving this world in the best way you can. Lots of love from your Serbian community :)

[clashofthetitans]

Compare and despair! That hit right home for me😖😟

[zacharkaniko]

Hi Terri, i used your "leave the crap in 2017" method and since then there is silence :)

[AsteriETERNAL]

That "inner mean girl" does *not* want to die, Yo! 😣😫

[monaami]

Terri what if that inner voice is not a voice but just the always present ambient feeling of being about to be punished or killed for who I am? It's as if the mean girl was a girl from a horror movie who's just looking at and not saying anything, but I know what she means. She means I'm gonna be punished for being alive.

[mlpskinner]

Yes! perfect timing, I want to move to the Pacific NW to live out the rest of my life ( 53 single ) now's the time with good interest rates, and I am still pretty and can meet a life partner. HOW do I do this without hurting my mom or making her feel like I am abdanding her..she 83 in good health and narristist ( just learned about N, 2 years ago) she will not go with me. how do I leave with a conscience, I will travel back and forth. this is my inner mean girl telling me all this BS excuses etc... I'm at my wits end.