r/Relationships My Husband Accused Me of Murder

0:00 Intro
0:10 Age regression
5:38 Ben 10
6:34 Murder accusations
11:04 Cheese balls

[KittenUndercover]

Murder update: the messages were nothing, the husband is just behaving like a massive asshole, they’re divorcing.

[amazinglynn]

Last story had an update: bf’s ex cheated on him, that’s why he was bothered bout the balls. OP stood her ground and bf acknowledged he was being nuts and didn’t make her give them up. I think he’s in therapy, and they’re still together

[miss-tessbess]

Lets be real, that chick don't know anything about Ben 10 other than a couple names. Otherwise she would've remembered Gwen is his frickin COUSIN. It's a pathetic cover up.

[RadioOppy]

why was my first thought in story 2: NOO!!! GWENS HIS COUSIN DONT SAY THAT!!!

[silverflight]

Story 3: It sounds like he's in, and never left, some fusion of Denial and Anger, he's refusing to believe his sister died in a freak accident, and he's directing his anger towards OP, the last person that was with her. It grew into an obsession with trying to prove that the death was a murder, and it appeared to hit a breaking point.

Maybe my assessment is wrong, but he is definitely messed up and OP needs to make sure she can't be convicted of something she did not do.

Edit: Turned out there was an update posted, it's two days old, and RSlash probably recorded before that. So here it goes:

OP got into the Husband's messages and there was nothing that could support his claim that OP murdered Laura over chat messages. OP then changed the passwords that could access the chat logs (probably because the husband could try to delete them in case OP was going to debunk his claims). Unsurprisingly, the husband made ANOTHER accusation towards OP, this time claiming that OP murdered Laura because he was going to leave OP and OP learned about this through chat logs and killed Laura for it. OP, of course, responded with the chat logs, and the husband ended up caught in a big lie. He tried to guilt trip OP later, but that failed.

There is still no concrete explanation behind the husband's actions, and OP is going to lawyer up and not post about the situation again. Best of luck to OP

[moonspider]

I’m an ageregressor, it’s a response to trauma, it’s either a valid therapeutic technique recommended by therapists, or it’s involuntary. Be gentle, be kind, and talk boundaries. We are a very rejected and penalised community, people accuse us of being paedophiles, or think we’re mentally challenged. We are normal people working through our issues in a way that makes us happy, and we aren’t harming anyone. To an extent, everyone regresses! Thank you rslash for responding mildly and not judging us folk. ❤

[lucere]

Story three did have an update. They were asking for legal advice because they went into his iCloud to find his messages with his sister and she found nothing but normal conversation and some rude gossip. She was worried because its technically a crime and he wants to get the police involved in general because of the suspected murder. Then he posted the accusations publicly while adding that she killed his sister because he planned to leave her with his sisters help. So she posted the conversation to prove he was lying and after a few days of arguing she got blocked.

[justaperson]

The SECOND she said he orders kids menus and he has childhood trauma he's going to therapy for, I called age regression. It's quite common as a way to relive the better parts of ones childhood in people who are heavily traumatised. Well done OP for supporting your husband, I know I'd appreciate it :)

[Clyde-S-Wilcox]

'When a woman loves a man, it doesn't matter that a crocodile bit off his face." -Marge Simpson

[kevinpotts]

I found out my wife was a ride or die type after both my parents died within a 2 week period and my mental health definitely suffered from it. She was my rock and earned my undying love and devotion.

[BabyRho]

Story 3 update she found his messages nothing was there other than some mean comments but not about her. The ex husband told the family the messages were him planning to divorce and that’s why she hurt the sister but she sent the chat log to the family. Now he is saying is having a mental breakdown she said that this is his only erratic behavior so she thinks is more nefarious than psychological.

[Sissie]

Story 3 Update:

Update: My (30f) husband (33m) accused me of murder, out of the blue. How do I salvage this?

Firstly, thank you to those who helped me get to my husband's icloud backups through an old iPad. I wasn't expecting much from reddit, but I got valuable practical advice before my post was locked, and I appreciate it.

There were no crazy, or even suspicious messages. I've searched for over 100 terms and scrolled back over years. I saw a side of them both I wasn't expecting, but nothing that explains the claim I murdered Laura over their chats. Nothing to suggest he was cheating. Absolutely nothing to suggest incest. I repeat: NO INCEST. No weird gaps where deleted conversations or a switch to another app would fit. Just siblings making plans, sending memes, and gossiping. They said unexpectedly horrible stuff about a few people, but not me. It was a sort of relief but it raised more questions than it answered.
I sought legal advice, also from reddit, after posting here. Turns out my options are divorce him or sit down. I contacted my community mental health team, who said they'd reach out, but made it clear it wasn't urgent. I then called his mum and said that if I didn't hear from him by this weekend, I would get a solicitor and ask for a mental heath assessment as part of the divorce. In response, he made a ridiculous post to Facebook (which neither of us have used in years) and everything blew up. I'm going to try to keep this succinct.

On Friday night, he made a long accusation on Facebook, with new information. He said he'd been planning to leave me for months with his sister's support, and I found the messages, and murdered her. The coroner has reopened the case and the police are preparing to arrest me, and he needs to make sure people know before the trial stops him talking about it. It was well written and seemed vaguely plausable.
He messaged people links so it got some attention - we live in our hometown, and have a large circle of friends because we've been here all our lives.
People I haven't spoken to since school were reaching out to me asking wtf was going on. It was madness.
In response, I posted the export of his entire conversation history with Laura, also to Facebook (when I finally got back in). I linked to the chat along with a post explaining my side, and noting that I had changed my ex's icloud and apple passwords, and that if he wanted them back, he should comment on my post and update his own, admitting that he was lying. He eventually did.

When I started getting messages about his post, l panicked, and changing his passwords seemed important to preserve everything because he'd know I had access. When I spoke to him the next morning it's clear he's not having a mental episode at all, but is claiming one because he's been caught in a big lie. As soon as he was outed, he called me, clearly drunk, begging and promising to explain everything if I deleted my post. I hung up and told him to call back the next day. He did (after many missed calls and texts), and he tried to bargain and guilt trip me with his mental health until it was clear the wrong people had seen his conversation. It's hard to describe but it seemed fake. It was too well rehearsed, and then this morning, when it was clear he was getting nowhere, he blocked me.
Begging for mercy and reciting facts about mental disorders doesn't align with someone in crisis with a sincere belief that someone murdered their sibling.

The question of why he did all this remains unanswered, and he will not be getting his passwords until it is. The legal advice subreddit said this stuff is technically illegal but it's beneath a court to take action, so l'm going to count on that because I felt like I had no other choice at the time, and now I don't see any other way to get answers from him. I am desperate and it's all l've got.

So there we are. The relationship I have believed was my destiny since I was a teenager has boiled down to petty, convoluted and vindictive bullshit, played out on social media, for reasons still unknown. My hope for a brain tumour is fading and clearly tomorrow morning is going to be when I lawyer up and stop posting about this. I am mortified, I have no idea whether some people might believe him, and I still don't know why this all happened in the first place. Sorry I don't have a happier update, and thanks once again to everyone who offered advice.

[aliecarey]

As a person who had an EXTREMELY abusive childhood, I experienced all the fun kid stuff with my son. We had a blast when he was little! We recently went back to where we lived when he was growing up. We went hiking and he found the rock he carved his name into when he was 5! He thanked me for giving him the best childhood. Best feeling in the world. ❤

[hobbitguy]

Story 4: There was an update. Yeah, the BF had an ex who cheated, and he found out because the ex sent a video of her... erm... eating another man's mozzarella. That's why OOP's mind went there. There's couples counseling in their future and it sounds like she's encouraging him to take therapy, too.

[d.phantomfan]

Story 1: you know ironically, this was a joke and an episode of SpongeBob. It was a running gagging the episode. This guy was on the bicycle in the kids outfit with lollipop and every time he got caught, he would just “ I can explain”. That is the extent of my knowledge on that.

But anyway he’s not hurting anyone, I wish I could say I don’t find this weird but this is helping him and no one‘s getting hurt, who cares.

[notmyrealname]

Story 3: The supposed messages don’t exist. The husband isn’t having a mental breakdown. He’s just lying.

[Clyde-S-Wilcox]

Story 3: Divorce. NOT normal grief behavior. OP isn't safe with this guy.

[Zerokey]

There’s an update on the murder story, the husband has been doing some really weird behavior. Tldr; OP found the text records there is nothing in them even talking about OP negatively, the husband lies on Facebook saying that the investigations been reopened Post the text logs and the husband tries to gaslight her to delete the post until he blocks OP.

He’s acting super weird she needs to move or get a restraining order

[dracko]

Story 3: Christ man, I know everyone griefs in their own way but, ACCUSING YOUR WIFE OF MURDER is NOT one of them. Tell his mom, dad or any other of his family he needs serious therapy for this because who knows what else he'll do next due to the grief? This dude is currently in denial about his sister's death, and he needs SERIOUS help about this.

[tippyk]

S Girl, jail isn't even the worst case. If he truly in his heart of hearts believes that his wife murdered his sister but the cops are just blind to this injustice, he may decide that he needs to take justice into his own hands...