my family disowned me because i cheated

my family disowned me because i cheated
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#reddit #relationshipadvice #redditstories

[thebonesaw..]

First off, there's a few holes with this story. And I apologize that this is a really long response, but this needed to be a thorough answer in regards to the OP's very obvious lies, which I cover in the final paragraph: As has already been pointed out, there's more than one way to talk to people other than face to face these days. The guy's family obviously has his phone number (since they've been "blasting" him on it). Besides an email or a letter, he could have simply TEXTED his side of the story to them. I'm assuming his family members all know how to read (but as dumb as the OP apparently is, perhaps not). If he had simply sent a text to every single family member, explaining his side of the story, at least one of them would have read it... and that's all it would have taken. That person would have gone to all the others and said, _"Hey everyone! Huddle up... it looks like we were completely wrong about the OP."_

Further... if you've been ostracized by your ENTIRE FAMILY... yeah, you're probably going to need therapy, no matter how much you think you are *_"just fine and doing well without them"._* Because, if you don't get therapy for something that life altering, to deal with that level of rejection and betrayal, you're going to have a lot of trust issues in the future and it's going to massively interfere with ALL of you future personal relationships. In this story, the OP mentioned at the end that, _"I don't really talk to people"..._ << this is what I'm talking about. I think part of this story is true, and the OP really did get ostracized by his entire family. However, I think, the OP lied about the circumstances in the story, because it just doesn't make any sense. Anyone with half a brain knows that you can send people written forms of communication in order to explain your side of a story whenever someone is being hard-headed and refuses to speak with you face to face (a lot of people I know have had to do that at some point in their life, including me).

Where I think the OP lied is when he claims that it was his girlfriend who wanted to open up the relationship. That sounds like classic deflection (a thing people do whenever they're telling others a story in order to make themselves sound better). I think what actually happened was that, the OP met someone, then went to his girlfriend and asked her to open up the relationship so that he could bang whoever it was that he met. The girlfriend told him hell no, so he decided to cheat and he got caught. His girlfriend didn't lie, she simply told his family the truth and, in order to lessen his guilt, he deflected and came up with this bullshit story. It even makes sense from the standpoint that, we learn from experience, which is why people who are abused when they are children will themselves often grow up to become abusers themselves. The OP grew up in a family where he saw his parents cheat on each other, and where relationships are not taken seriously enough to remain dedicated and chaste with each other... so he naturally does not take them seriously either and became a cheater himself. The fact that, here he is, a couple of years down the road and he has not only cut off communication with his family but has also cut off communication with all other people speaks volumes as to his guilt over what he did. Usually, when people do that, it's because they know they've lied so badly, and their guilt is so obvious, that they don't want to try to make new friends because they know that it won't take long before the new friends (or new relationship partner) they've made will discover the actual truth. And they won't be able to convince that new friend or relationship partner of the lie anymore because the fact that they lied is so obvious. Whoever this OP is... needs therapy for WAY MORE than just being ostracized by all his friends and family. He has to face up to his actual guilt and the string of lies he told in order to try and hide his guilt.

[potatoheadpokemario]

your family was wrong to not hear your side but you did indeed cheat on your girlfriend and had every right to disown you even if they did hear your side

[l-l-l-l-l-l-l]

Idiot could've send that email explaining his side from the beginning but didn't. He don't need therapy he need braincells. Heck, even sending letter would do the trick if email were also blocked.