This is Why You Always Feel Intimidated

In this video, we'll explore practical strategies and nuanced insights aimed at understanding and effectively managing the impact of intimidation in various aspects of our lives.

Feeling intimidated is a common emotional response that can hinder personal growth and interactions. Our conversation aims to delve into the complexities of intimidation, discussing its manifestations, triggers, and the underlying factors that contribute to this emotional experience.

▼ Timestamps ▼
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00:00 - Introduction
02:10 - Retreating
04:20 - What does intimidation look like?
05:22 - What IS intimidation?
09:11 - You deserve to be there
10:14 - Externalize your attention
14:52 - Don't Retreat
17:54 - Conclusion

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DISCLAIMER

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All guests of Healthy Gamer are informed of the public, non-medical nature of the content and have expressly agreed to share their story.

#healthygamergg #intimidation #lifeadvice

[ralphsaywha]

I love how this overlaps with the concept of imposter syndrome. I’m sure a lot of people are fighting this too

[MowseChao]

I find social media to be hard to take part in because of feelings like this.
You see the best slices of everyone's life, and they're presented as relatable and similar to you. It's easy to accidentally start comparing and start feeling less.
My solution to that is to simply stop using social media though, which is probably not a bad choice to make in some ways.

[soulgrenade]

idk if it's just the time i've spent working on myself or the influence of these videos. but the moment he explains the intimidation due to someone being better, i drew the same conclusion for combating it. That's wild

[KnowThyself]

Having social anxiety is like feeling intimidated by EVERYONE.

[hellbreakfast]

"Don't hate, appreciate" seems to be the summary of this lesson :3
It's bracing that I essentially came to this same conclusion somewhat recently, myself. Most of the people in my field that are better than me are very forthcoming regarding their own skills and how they honed them. In fact, there's an art server I'm on where people have very literally drawn me tutorials out of the goodness of their own hearts- I didn't even ask them to! It not only drives me to use the resources and get better, but also to exhibit that same kindness to those that look up to *me* in turn.

One thing I do worry about is what you do in a situation where you literally can't befriend a person.

[ThemBEanss]

I’ve never had someone explain what intimidation is. So illuminating. Thank you HG!

[elora]

Perfect timing. I feel like I regress into a child after I entered the workforce. I go back to speaking real quiet, the confidence and competence I gained from high school to college almost completely depletes when I'm at work. I did well in any other previous jobs, even in a corporate setting. But when it comes to interior design, the field I majored in, it's like the past few years of character development never happened.

[Iudicatio]

This is the story of my life, it sucks so much. I study physics at university and at first I was friends with most of the "overachiever" straight A students. However a couple months in I got SO intimidated by them, I stopped talking to them or any of my other classmates. Even though none of them intentionally excluded me or did anything mean as far as I remember.

I never really recovered from this. I failed many, many exams and still struggle so much when all of those friends have already graduated. I never really made other friends in my classes. I really wish I had understood this at that time. The intimidation was so bad that I often didn't do homework or go to class.

Very interesting video! IMO it really ties into Carl Jung and his ideas about the unconscious and shadow work.

[bhavyachheda]

Make an entire series on this. These are basic communication skills that many of us lack (i certainly do). These few tips and tricks on just communicating in general to other people will help a lot. That point about just complimenting that person is just a basic decency that you might show but it doesnt hit the anxious brain at the moment. Make more of these kinds of videos at explain general situations and what do we say and how to handle that social setting.

[RNCHFND]

"You begin hanging out with people they never intimidate you" damn

[christinayang]

the concept of intimidation that you explained makes so much sense of why I have been increasingly cutting everyone and so many social events out of my life for the past decade. Your video come out at a pivotal time for me, as I just got super depressed after a long trip with a large group of people I felt so intimidated by. I have been struggling a lot with intimidation as of late and can really trace back to my youth moments of intimidation and how its grown over the years. Thank you Dr. K, I will try my best at turning this around.

[randommaddlhat]

There is no need for being surrounded by overachievers to feel intimidated. Growing up in a german village totally withdrawn and raised by parents who never taught me how to socialize propperly made me feel like an inferior person even in contrast to the average villagers. I never actively thought that I deserved this but I subconsciously felt ashamed for having so low status, social experience and capital as respect relies heavily on the degree of social activity here. Thank you for putting out this concise and valid content on such topics.

[Selfunraveled]

Wow this is so spot on 😮 the people that intimidate us are there to remind us of who we CAN be but we take it the wrong way. The purpose of that feeling is to encourage us & REMIND us that we are capable of reaching the same level. But we take it as a reminder of what we DONT have and feel so bad about it thinking that our current condition is permanent .

[flyingmonkeiesRus]

I just finished my first conference. It was one of the biggest ones in my industry filler with ceo(s) and big players in the industry. I am a graduating student and was one of 5 students there. The biggest thing that helped me is not knowing who anyone was before talking to them. They're all just people and want to be treated like people. If you go in and are honest with yourself it is amazing what you can do!! Best love to this community

[ASMRHatov]

I really appreciate how you give specific words to say instead of vague advice

[dead_eddy]

This touches on an issue I've struggled with for a long time but never had it addressed as well as this by my therapist. Thanks Dr. K.

Its such a strange issue. I feel intimidated by people who are more skilled/ smarter than me, people who are more confident, and physically /mentally stronger than I am. When I see, hear of, or interact with people who are similar to me but better in one of these ways it makes me feel small, like I want to hide in my own head to avoid the embarassment of my being. Yet at the same time when people compliment me for the way I look, or my sucess with my physical fitness, it barely phases me; I still come away feeling inferior.

Looking forward to giving this advice a shot.

[tonitoni]

What i do is thinking forward to drinking water. . . It's boring and so neutral, that it just confuses me out of feeling intimidated . But really visualize drinking of the water

[JpLarry]

Thank you for this video. One of my “higher-ups” at work has really intimidated me and has led to awkward interactions. Your assertion that intimidation is your mind’s way of retreating from regret or shame of past mistakes or character flaws helped immensely. Tomorrow I’m going to find time to let this individual know what I appreciate about their work and ask a follow up question to ease the compliment tension. Love your content man! I’m grateful to be working with this person, and I’m tired of inauthenticity while interacting with them out of nervousness and intimidation!

[mordcore]

oh that (the at-home-introspection) is literally what i did with art! i became so overwhelmed by how great at drawing other people were but i managed to shift from feelings of defeat to focusing on copying single aspects of what they did

[radiationgeneration]

u know what is funny. im a 6 foot 4 guy that looks really intimidating (have multiple occasions where people are scared of me, that didn't know me) but i myself struggle with social interactions and even have trouble talking to a cashier at the grocery store