The Power Of Divorce

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[RainbowGardens]

Divorce is very hard on the kids, no doubt. Through divorce, my mom left me, my brothers, and my father when I was nine. It was at the height of the feminist movement in the 70's. Up until that time, it was the most tragic experience I'd felt. I think it made me a stronger person in the end, but I don't know if, given a choice (kids don't have a choice), I'd choose that path. The good side is I reject feminism; I gave up my career to stay home with my kids, I cook for my family, and am proud to do so. :)

[dbhoward]

My father died on his 22nd birthday in 1952, I was 1 year old, my mother was pregnant with my little sister. Needless to say I know exactly what this void feels like. And I have no doubt that this event put my life on a path that was more difficult than many, and I had a lot of anger about it and still do from time to time. But, for some reason i realized at a very young age that I like to take things apart and see what makes them work, and I always had the attitude that I could do anything. Now I have my own guitar shop, I build guitars and furniture, or just about anything I want. As a teenager, I was always working on cars, in fact my first car at the age of 16 was not running needed a water pump, well that seemed simple enough, take it apart and put it back together...I fixed it. Still at the age of 65 after accomplishing many things, I miss my father, I miss the years we never had, I miss him more and more. I have been told from time to time, I should maybe try to get help about this...and I think about it and say, its who I am, my father died when I was 1 year old...absolutely every part of me is formed from that reality.

[RobRobertson]

Thanks. Yes, divorce has power alright. I'm 63 and still recall the deep pain when I learned at 12 my dad wasn't coming home. Proud too of Jesse for facing the demons and I pray grabbing the Lord's hand to change things for his daughter, gonna go over to his channel and tell him in fact.Between my mom and dad, two brothers and one sister there are 16 marriages, including de facto. All up in smoke, My wife and I too had many times when divorce was looming, but we cried out to the Lord for Him to rescue us from ourselves, and he did. I recall once my wife asking 'what are we going to do now?' The only answer I could come up with was 'I don't know. I only know I love you.' even though I actually didn't feel any love for her. But He got us through that and taught us a lot in the process of staying faithful to our promise. Keep preaching that love truth and grace Wranglerstar :)

[Madmick]

I'm 34 and about to have my first child, I am a son from a divorced family where my father moved away. Growing up was very hard without a father. I had no one to look up too, no one to take me fishing or to play sports or just to chat and have father and son time and talk to me about life or just when i needed my dad to tell me everything is going to be ok. my mother done the best she could and i am very thankful for that. but i am going to take this life lesson and make sure my child has everything i didn't, make sure they get all the support they need growing up, teach them life skills that i had to learn for myself and prepare them for whats ahead. Im still learning about life and life skills and i dont know everything but as long as we are doing it together because thats all i ever wanted when growing up.

[michaelcanning]

Learning skills specifically to teach them, "breaking the cycle" as it is with divorced/fatherless adults is a HUGE inspiration! Thanks for sharing.

[toddtalk]

Divorce is a very destructive thing. I came from a broken home too, so my heart goes out to Jesse. From my perspective, the tragic events in my life were used as a shaping influence on who I am today. God takes bad situations and turns them into good. Past hurts become a catalyst for loving others more deeply. I am not glad for the divorce that took away my stable home life, but I can look back and see how God reached into that morass of hurt and helped me through it. Thanks for the video, Cody.

[IDgetoutside]

I think you guys have touched on a root cause of the "manboy" problem in our society. Many of us men have the problem of not knowing. It is evident in the emotions that we can't control and the skills we lack. I'm grateful that we live in a time that has tools like YouTube that let us share amongst ourselves to compensate for the failings of our fathers.

[thomastommy]

My father passed when I was young. I learned how to do things on my own. But later in life I contacted Gillan Barr Syndrome. Which left me pearlized from my shoulders down for a long time. I met a wonderful woman. And her five month old son. We have been together for almost 31 years. I raised her son as my own. He is now 32. We are very close. Just give your wife and kids unconditional love. No matter what. That has always worked for me. btw, My son does not drank booze or smoke. Cause I never did that around him. He is a great kid. His mom and I are still in love to this day. We never go to bed mad at one another. Always have patients with your family. And always tell them you love to them. But above all. Show your love for your family. Every other problem will work out. Good luck and May God Bless You.

[notsheeple]

Always good to see people just stop think and start improving themselves. When we take a hard look in the mirror we can always see what improvements are needed and then we just have to figure out how to improve. Youtube has been a great help to show me things that I wanted to learn. You weed through the junk to find a treasure and that goes with youtube. Cody, you have a great channel and have helped so many people around the world. God has blessed us in finding your channel and meeting you and your family. Keep keeping it real.

[TexasKid]

the fact that Jesse made that "deficit" realization puts him lightyears ahead of most people. Good job to both of you.

[liamireland]

Hey Cody, I am 30 years old and my situation is similar. My biological father went to prison when I was about 2. My step dad was very abusive physically and mentally. He was also very negligent towards me. I have had to learn a lot about being a man on my own. From learning how to use tools, to how to give a proper handshake, to learning about women and how to treat them, how to shave and on and on. I feel like I'm doing OK, I work 3 jobs, have my own place and all. But I had a son almost 2 years ago. I'm naturally afraid of not being a good father. Not because I'm a bad guy or I can't handle it. I have only seen how to not be a good father. Not how to be a good father. Plus I imagine most is not all fathers feel nervous from time to time. I am lucky to live in the YouTube age because that's where I learned about tools, self reliance, and more. A lot of that comes from your channel. I truly appreciate what you do and you have an amazing family. I'm not going to claim that I have seen all of your videos. But when something comes up I look for a how too videos on wranglestar. I doubt you will see this or reply. But I do appreciate your work. God bless you and your family!

[Brett]

I haven't had a day off in almost 2 years. 7 days a week, I'm working. I can't even begin to imagine what it would be like to just do nothing for a whole day. Thanks for the video.

[Scorpiomary]

I was my Dad's helper and he taught me about tools. I helped with everything. after married I worked on cars. then other things have happened in life so we just keep on keeping on...learning more and more. I find now. at 60+ moments with my Dad are the most precious. (not saying my Mother is not a good mom she was great!) I have been fortunate enough to have some great mentors. when you are ready the teacher will appear.

[joemackey]

This is pure inspiration, my father struggled through the horrors of Vietnam during my childhood. He returned in 70 and I was born in 71 but there is a ton of stuff I missed. He would just shut down sometimes, of course he was there but you could also tell he was a thousand miles away. Not even with you or anyone there.
I always took that as a personal thing, either I wasn't good enough for his love or I had done something wrong to earn his displeasure.
It took me growing up and joining the Navy during the Gulf war to realise why he was the way he was. We are just getting restarted after a 8 year hiatus of not seeing eye to eye.
I really see lots of promise this time as I want my children to know their grandparents on both sides of the family.

[JaimeDrewatWoodenU]

My husband was in the same position, a child of divorce not learning from his father. This video made me realize that he's never used it as an excuse. He's an amazing father and husband. As a kid myself I saw my father fix everything (my parents are still together). I decided as a teenager I would learn to fix everything too and then that wouldn't be something my future husband would have to possess thus expanding the chances of meeting the right person for me. Now me as the wife teaches my husband how to do home repair and he's a great learner. I may have overlooked him as a prospective partner for lacking the skills we associate with a man and I would have missed out on a great partner. It's never too late to learn these things for yourself and I found my love of woodworking along the way. As this video shows, "manly skills" have nothing to do with what makes a great father and husband.

[mdbigman]

I think that the feeling of not experiencing things like changing a spare tire might be secondary to the feeling of security and stability that comes from a family that has not experienced divorce.  Most of what I learned in life (skills) I did not learn from my father but simply by being around others that that had that skill or trying something new on my own.  I could not imagine though not having the safety and security that was my family.  That was taken from Jesse and I hope he can one day feel whole.  Best to you Jesse!

[Nodularguy]

Using the power of Youtube to bring us all closer. Nice Job Cody and Jesse

[budgetoffroadb]

Great video. I came from a broken family, my parents divorced before I was born, but my mother remarried a fantastic man, who has always been there for my sister and me. I love that Cody show love to he's fans. God bless.

[dananelson]

Thanks for sharing Cody. Takes guts to be as transparent as Jesse is in this vlog. Makes me realize how my parents sacrificed their own insecurities to give us that sense of security they didn't have. My dad even mentored my mom's younger stepbrother who's dad died because of his drinking. Dad was always praying.

[nprofnchgo]

I wrestle every gd day w/ repeating my dad's mistakes! Keep strong, Jesse!