How to find out subtly if someone has a boyfriend/girlfriend without asking them

I would ask them in an off-handed way. For instance you could say, "You must go there a lot with your girlfriend." If you are places that he/she likes. If you do it that way, you aren't coming out and asking outright, and you don't look desperate.

[mariedubuque]

Cheana, any time you see someone you know even the least bit, wave and smile, or say hi. Even if you think you look like an idiot constantly waving and smiling, do it! It's better than looking stone faced in front of you. And then, people feel like you are friendly and approachable.

[mariedubuque]

ashley, believe me, there are a lot of people in your same boat. I know it seems like at a large university where there are tons of people, you are likely to make friends fast. But that's often not the case. So, get to class early and chat with the person next to you, smile and say hi when you see people from your classes, sit with people at lunch you know even vaguely from a lecture. Go to the library and Starbucks on campus often. Become a regular.Join clubs, go tothe gym, you will meet people!

[mariedubuque]

Michael, she could be making this boyfriend up because she is nervous. But if she tells you, point blank, that she has a boyfriend, then it means she is not interested. But if she says she doesn't, then you could ask her out casually during the day for coffee, or maybe you could include her if you are going somewhere with a group. Just make it really casual.

[Cheana]

I have just subscribed and I've been watching a lot of your videos. I am a very shy and somewhat anxious person, so I really like your channel. Your advice is so helpful, it makes me want to work on my problems (like being self conscious). Thank you! I have a question: When you're walking down a hallway (at school for example), where do you look when there are people passing by etc.? I find it hard to look at them, it makes me so nervous and I am afraid to send wrong signals :/

[mariedubuque]

chloenfhs, as long as he is initiating the conversation as much as you are, it's going well. And I think slowly, he will talk more. But it will take time. I wouldn't try to push him, because you just might push him away. The more comfortable he feels around you, the more he will talk to you.

[mariedubuque]

cheana, I would smile and say hi to everyone you know. I know that sounds like a lot, but you just glance quickly and smile and wave to whoever you pass that you know, even if you barely know them. That way, people feel more comfortable around you, and it's easier to get acquainted with people.

[mariedubuque]

Basmah, you can't think like that! I know, it's easy for me to say that. Work on changing your attitude. Instead of worrying whether they will get bored and leave, think of it as, "They are really lucky to be around me." Seriously, if you keep saying that in your head, you will believe it, and your confidence will show. And at that point, people will gravitate towards you. I know, baby steps...you can do it.

[michaelalvarado]

Thank you so much Marie, I will definitely try it out. One thing I should have mentioned is that I work for her. We get along great and she seems to brighten up when I am around. If she tells me she is too busy to date or if she uses that fact that I work for her as an excuse, then I will take it as a sign that she is not interested. What is your take on that?

[MsPeasandhoney]

Thank you so much! You have no idea how much your guiding me...xox

[everythingnickk]

What kind of things should I message my girlfriend? Like nothing 'I love you so much' but something more subtle.

[supaikudayo]

Marie, I'm very interested in this guy that I dated for a bit last year. This year he graduated from college (we both went to the same school) and now he's working in a town two hours away. He's super busy alot of the time, and works early until really late at night. Before we both had indications that we liked each other, but we never really expressed how we felt to each other.

We were supposed to meet up before he left, but due to all the preparation he had to go through and all the arrangements he had to make, we couldn't meet..his last message was 'I'm sorry I couldn't arrange my schedule in order to see you, but please let me know if you're ever in town :) I think has alot of nice places for sightseeing :)" It wasn't a bad message but at the same time I was so sad I couldn't see him..

At the beginning of August, after a few months of no communication, he sent me a message asking me how I was doing, and how I was enjoying college, and how was my summer? I was undoubtedly ecstatic.

Recently it was his birthday and I saw some comment that he wrote to a friend saying "Thanks for the birthday message, How are you? And is everything in order?? ?I finally caught up with you, I'll fill you in on the details later" and her reply was "oh really? congratulations!" A small comment in which it's completely out of context, but has been worrying me sick ever since I saw it. Does he have a girlfriend? he seems much too busy, he misses all his friends, and keeps saying how lonely he feels (the town he's in is relatively rural and doesn't have much happening there aside from his work)

The other thing that I saw that might prove he doesnt have a girlfriend, is that a friend of his posted a nice photo of him and his girlfriend, and another friend (lets call him mr.A) wrote "Hey, be sure to introduce me to someone really nice next time" and my crush wrote "Mr.A this photo is just way too nice isn't it? and hey! Introduce me to someone nice too!" and then the friend replied to the both of them "Mr.A that's all you ever say to me, and (to my crush) and you too!!" So that's a good sign that he's single..right?

 Please help :( I really want to go visit him, but I don't know what to say..or how to say it..or initiate the conversation. . I've gotten the feeling if he had a girlfriend, he wouldn't have reached out to me to begin with. What do I do?

[mariedubuque]

Jolly, you could ask him in a round about way whether or not he has a girlfriend. You could say something like, "I bet your girlfriend thinks that's funny." Or do you go to____with your girlfriend?" So he will either say yes, or that he doesn't have a girlfriend.

[chloenfhs]

Hey I love your advice and I was hoping you could help me. So I went to a youth camp and this guy also went. I didn't see him there, but I saw his instagram post about working there and I asked him a question. We started talking and he's really sweet and he seems interested, but I have to do all the work in the convo and he replies with short answers, but he's the one saying hey first. Any advice on how to hint he needs to step up or how to keep it going without me doing all the work? Thanks!

[melvinr]

yes I tried that...I made a nice comment about her hair, then asked what the boyfriend think, and she said "don't have a boyfriend, just dating someone for a while" so I guess that means I can ask her you but, I'm 42 and she's 24, so I don't know if she like older guys. Been trying for 2 days to ask her out, counldnt find the right moment...

[JoaquinWildeGuy]

I'll have to use that. Thank you.

[mariedubuque]

MNE, I would just talk to him at lunch just like you have been doing. Because if he really didn't want to talk to you, he wouldn't have carried on a conversation. give it a month. I bet he starts approaching you. And at that point, if he doesn't, then the ball is in his court, and you gave it a shot.

[RachelleA]

Hey! I wanted to know is it weird not to have many friends in university? Im really shy, and awkward and im not cool. Im starting to get worried. I don't want my whole uni life to be miserable and lonely.

[chloenfhs]

Also he lives a few hours away so its not like I could just talk to him in person

[mariedubuque]

day, don't take the bus to see her. Just talk to her at school. Play a little hard to get because she sounds a little fickle.

[michaelalvarado]

Hello Marie, I am interested in this lady but I heard sometime ago that she has a boyfriend. I never see him around nor does she never mention him. She is always alone. After I try out your advice to see if she does have a boyfriend and if she says no, how should I react shortly afterwards? I am really interested in her.