How to Spot and Escape the Oedipal Mother | Jordan Peterson

Jordan Peterson's cautionary tale regarding "oedipal" mothers.

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ABOUT DR. JORDAN PETERSON

Jordan Peterson is a renowned Canadian psychologist, author, and professor, widely acclaimed for his profound insights into the human psyche and his contributions to the field of psychology. With an illustrious career spanning several decades, Peterson has earned a remarkable reputation for his thought-provoking ideas and transformative teachings.

Peterson's academic achievements are truly exceptional. He holds a Ph.D. in clinical psychology from the University of Alberta and has served as a professor at the University of Toronto. Throughout his career, he has published numerous influential papers and articles, making significant contributions to the field. Notably, his work on personality psychology and the psychology of religious and ideological belief systems has garnered widespread recognition.

One of the striking indicators of Peterson's impact is his exceptional citation count on Google Scholar of over 20,000 citations. His research has been cited by scholars and researchers worldwide, highlighting the significance and relevance of his ideas. This recognition reflects the profound influence he has had on the academic community and the intellectual discourse surrounding psychology.

Jordan Peterson on Google Scholar:

[ashenzenden]

it's crazy how much power parents, especially the mother of a son, has over their child. They can literally dictate their entire lives for good or for bad.

[ChristopherJohnson-dv]

Unfortunately I’m 26 and still trying to escape I feel like I’m going to die stuck here honestly.

[ISayNukem]

My mother did that with my youngest brother. He turned out to be a real piece of work. Me and my other brother (he's the middle) both left home early. She's a nightmare.

[alexlilano]

My mom was the same. It backfired. I left when I hit 18. I joined the military. I didnt developed any practical skills, so the military was extremely hard because it was so under developed and my mom did it on purpose. My mom and I were extremely close when I was a baby to a kid. I laughed a lot and always want my mom to hold me, but I wanted to grow up and she didnt. I fought her every single time and literally begged her for me to do something beside nothing. I guess I am a very conscientious person. My mom would yelled at me for doing my laundry and the dishes. I mowed the grass in our backyard and said said I did a terrible job. Mom said My sister did a much better job. I tried to process some paperwork and she said my sister should do it because she just does better job. She cant trust me. When I actually worked, I was one of the best workers in the military and my civilian life. I was super surprised because my mom told me I did a terrible job and I believed it. I also did terribly at school before I left and I got a math degree with honors and a social work degree. My mom literally made it up that I did a terrible job to destory my selfesteem and developed zero confident, so I can stay a dependent child. My mom resented that I wanted to grow up. She made all my family hated me since I fought with her to just letting me do something. My mom was so resentful; she literally stop feeding me for years. I also always hungry and I went to doctor in the military and they treated me for an extremely painful disease which I had since middle school. I told my mom about it since middle school and she said I was making it up. I converted to Christianity because I had no one and the bible says to honor my parents and to forgive. I amend our relationship with my mom and I even told her I love her. She said she is proud of me. My other sister not the one my mom said did a better job than me took my spot because she is 45+ and still living with my mom and dad. After This sister divorced her husband, she hated my mom too for doing the same thing to her as she did to me. This sister had a mental breakdown after her divorce and went homeless. This sister cant take care of herself. Everybody wins at the end. I'm independent, my mom has a kid to take care of, and my sister doesn't need to live on the streets.

[taylorkeller]

My mom did that for a while until I caught her. The solution is simple and delightful - cut all communication and run.

[margaretvanson]

So many men caused so much harm by their mothers. My husband was enmeshed aka overt incest by his mother. He couldn't admit to it until 15 years after she died. He was 78 years old before he could see, and admit that her abuse robbed him of so much potential.

[Shortstacksandticktacks]

It's scary because when I'm thinking about it, the problems I have now at 38 really do go all the way back to decisions I was making as a preschooler. My parents and community are responsible too, but I have some responsibity, like the choice to keep trying to get my parents to treat me well, and blaming myself when they neglected me.

[DivineLogos]

This kinds of psychology should be learned in school.
This way kids are more likely to find out if their situation is toxic and save themselves.
Tyrannical fathers, oedipal mothers, narcissistic parent, borderline parent.
We should teach kids about all of these.

[xx]

Remind me of a family dinner I had and was upset seeing how my mum do literally everything for my grandma. “Stay back. Don’t undermine her autonomy.” Came out of my mouth in a private conversation and she went out crying to my brother. On hindsight, I see that I am escaping from all that. That might have added to the push element of moving out of the country at age 28 years old.
Disclaimer, I was the obedient and well performing kid since young. My achievements has always been solely accredited to her and perhaps in order to be out of my parents’ shadow and stop self sabotage, I had to learn how to be close but figure out a distance. Perhaps.

[CarolineOwens-sh]

I’m allowing my son to choose who he wants to live with since we are divorced . I want him to have independence and value his wants. He is in high school and I don’t want to smother him . I want him to flourish and grow into a great young man

[abumthedon]

believe me that is a real issue with mother, mother could crush their sons💔

[sendtosw]

My brother suffered the Oedipal mother, and before she died she made him her. Yup, you heard that right. So now, he IS her.

[ShapeShifterKibayo]

At 21 I started to bloom. At 24 my mother tried to tighten the noose only for me to yet outta there real quick. Glad I realized my dad wasn't the only one messed up sometimes. She's got all my brothers wrapped around her finger

[djseamusSydneyAus]

Hi Jordan,
What do you think about the book Iron John for younger men in order to help them to understand the concept of stealing the golden key from under the protective mothers pillow.
I thought it was a valid, metaphorically symbolic book for young men that is written into folk lore story which has been around for a millenia.

[JohnWilliams-iwoq]

At 18 I started to rebel, I was drunk six nights a week. At 21 when I could enter clubs I was drunk seven nights a week. My mother ruined relationships between myself and any girl I dared take home to meet the family. When I got married she became extremely abusive to my wife until I laid down the law that the first part of my life was with my parents but my future lay with my wife. That stopped the open hostility but covert action went on regardless. Finally I walked away from the family relationship. I have never grieved my mother's death, I don't think I ever will simply because of what I see as her abuse of me and my sister who received physical as well as mental abuse.
Where was my father through all this? He was working, he worked 6 days and 3 nights a week to hide from the reality he faced at home.

[TheWaywardDruid]

I’m wondering if me being MTF transgender has anything to do with this situation. I had an abusive immature narcissistic stepfather who would call me things like “sissy girl” and “gay boy” etc. and my mom who would do exactly this in this video.

Because everyone just affirms being trans around me or says nothing, I’m here incessantly studying the archetypes trying to make sense of it because I have a very strong masculine side that doesn’t let me have peace as I transition. I think my development may have been wounded and underdeveloped.

[CBiscuitB]

I‘m not sure if my Mum was like that in my childhood, she wasn’t perfect but she did encourage me and made sure I had every opportunity (so long as she liked them). But now she sure is trying her best to destroy my marriage, because „he‘s not good enough“ and she doesn’t like him, even though she admitted herself she doesn’t really know him. It‘s dreadful.

[pumpkinmoe]

Yup, mom forced us away from our father, and my brother is becoming her in many ways. (probably already is) It feels like being in a cage. I got out but 2 other siblings are stuck. Took outside help and left at 25.

[Zadir]

my mother's a widow and spends like mad. As the oldest son, It's difficult. I am being drained, I know we are to honor our parents and I can't just let her go too. My father took his own life and she's destroyed.

[Mira-guwe]

Oh jesus. She did it to me, her daughter. She also did it to my brother. I broke my bond. Almost destroyed my own family. My brother is still trapped. He 40. Lives with her.