Why The 5 Second Rule Doesn't Work | Mel Robbins

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While hosting an "Ask Me Anything" with the awesome community at TheSkimm, someone asked me a question I really wanted to address: "Hey, Mel, I tried the 5 Second Rule and it's still NOT working for me. What am I doing wrong?"

You're not doing anything wrong. This year, if you have resolutions and goals, you are going to have to realize one truth: to get what you want, you have to push yourself beyond the feelings and the resistance. So, when the 5 Second Rule doesn't work...this is why.

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[RamTalks]

Our ego does not admit it, but this is actually the heaviest truth existing. Thank you, Mel!

[nouher]

"Change isn't going to be scary. Change is what will be happening."

I love you Mel <3

[In_time]

I always wondered, “When will I no longer be afraid of change??”

“When the fear of staying exactly the same becomes *greater* than the fear of change”, I was told.

It’s true🧐

[jobvandelaar]

I love this!
When u are in the game, u are happy
When u are out the game, u start gettin frustrated, depressed, scared.
That first step is always so hard, but it’s the best step! Those moments when u are failing / down, that’s where something in you says: Hellooo? Keep moving and do it again. And that’s where the growth takes place.

[bobbykillingson]

For those who think it doesn't work:
This rule actually HELPS you get what you definitely want and not makes you want something you're not sure about... this is a tool, Not a magical stick...
Thank you for your explanation, Mel

[bellaf]

"And suddenly something's gonna click and the momentum will start to kick in and suddenly Change isn't gonna be scary, change is gonna be what's happening." I love u Mel!!!

[Grejegando]

It’s obviously a matter of belief system. The 5 second rule does not change your beliefs it just helps you move from thinking to acting because that’s the main symptom of a self-destructive mind, not taking action. And as you start taking action and seeing little or big results your belief system will start to shift and you are back in the game. Change will always happen when you make a shift in your belief system but often this is hard to achieve because you are stuck in the status quo. You probably tried several times before and failed and now you don’t believe your actions can take you out of the situation you are in. In psychology this is called ‘Learned Helplessness’. Maybe you also don’t believe in those tiny changes such as getting up early or socializing or or .... That’s why the 5 second rule isn’t working for you. You doubt any action will solve your problems let alone a tiny one. Maybe also you are waiting for a miracle. Maybe you are a believer who is praying and praying and praying and expecting ‘god’ or some other superpower to step in and make the difference. The key here is to believe that YOU and only you can take yourself out of that situation. And even if you believed in a superpower, you still need the know that that superpower needs you to start taking action because that’s the door through which it can step in and help. Without you opening that door your superpower will not walk into your life uninvited. Anyhow, regardless of your beliefs, force yourself into this method of taking action. Stop analysing this method and questioning whether it works or not, whether it can help you or not, or whether your situation is bigger than any solution out there. Stop analyzing and making sense out of everything. When you were a little baby you were breastfed or given milk. You did not analyze whether that milk was good for you, whether you’re gonna like it or not, or whether the shape or color it had is something you preferred. You had no preferences, no expectations, and no complicated thought processes. You just took it and grew up. You only took ACTION and it worked. Have the same belief about your life right now. Take action without analyzing how big your problems are or whether anything can help you get out of your situation. Just get back into the habbit of taking action and something good will come out of it. Wayne Gretzky said, “you miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.”

[cellardoor]

Change takes enthusiasm and persistency. You have to force sometimes. Mel is spot on. Everything I've read on change says the same thing.

[GodStrong]

I think its deeper than not wanting to change. I think its a belief problem. If you don't believe in something then that is your truth. You gotta believe and have faith in the 5 second rule or it wont work. It works 100% of the time for me because I believe in the power and momentum I've gained by using The 5 Second Rule. Don't Hate...Congratulate.... 5, 4, 3, 2, Up!

[TheKarenlyncarey]

I see where she wrote "exhausted" in her question and I too have felt this same way. ALOT. Years of being burned by family, employers, and being burned in my own businesses has grown into a nasty ball of depression. The key is to keep pushing NO MATTER WHAT YOU FEEL LIKE. Day by day, moment by moment. And then one day, you will look back and realize these small baby steps have really made an impact on your entire life. Thank you, Mel, for pushing past your comfort zone, your exhaustion, to create the #5SecondRule so that we can achieve our dreams! XO

[jillperkins]

I found that 5 seconds is too much time for me. It is just enough time for the doubts and excuses to start to creep in, so I start with 3 and count really fast :) Otherwise, I'm doomed and just sit there trying to find the will power to begin. 3 seconds is better for this procrastinator. That's what worked for me! :)

[OpenPhoenix]

Yep this is why I am who I am. Deep down inside my stress is from me not willing to accept my faults and put in the time and effort to change.

[ShekhKhushroz]

5 second rule with anchor thoughts really works.
When I feel fear I applie it and then I feel excitement, no fear
Thanks mam

[katkolakowska]

I agree Mel, I was also struggling with it, and the truth is I didn't want to change because I liked the way it was, comfortable, I was so used to hit that snooze button for over 15 years, I've been counting 54321 over and over again and falling asleep....waking up an hour later..shit the rule doesn't work....finally I pushed myself, I've opened my eyes 👀 and simply counted more, I did work! It's not perfect every morning but it's a massive improvement and that's only the beginning of my journey. Thank you so much Mel for sharing it with the world, you're such an inspiration!

[IsabelleGraff]

I feel like it's important to mention that the 5 second rule might not work if you're struggling with depression, usually everything is very hard and exhausting and that's normal in that case. So make sure to see a doctor if there's no motivation and just tiredness or exhaustion or apathy or something like that. And let's be realistic, no matter how good the science is, there's not a good quality study in the world where good results happened for every single one of the participants, it might be because of the reason Mel mentions, or it might be something else. Just something to keep in mind, I'm not saying Mel is wrong, but there might be other reasons why it doesn't work other than not wanting to change

[thelauralindachannel]

I find myself involuntarily nodding my head continuosly every time I hear you speak! Thanks, Mel!

[Adeeliqbal]

People who say "5 Second rule is not working". Simple answer for them you people don't want to change. I applied this rule into my entire life, Its working. It's changed mine life. I was laggard After applying this rule now I am a hard worker.

Thank you, Ms. Mel Robbins.

[jessicaburroughs]

This is why the rule works when I'm feeling 'lazy' and I need to do something, but not when I'm indecisive. This is a great gauge to find out what you're willing to do for your goal, or if you're on the right track.

[tracydalton]

Love you Mel. You're genuine and you're right. May you continue to be blessed in helping loads of precious people in this world.

[mtoffo]

It's true. I started changing not only when I was tired of my life but when I started being tired of being tired of it