I'm Lying to My Wife About Our Money

I'm Lying to My Wife About Our Money

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[qasimislam]

I grew a backbone 2 years ago and told my wife we need to get rid of debt. I'm now divorced, and debt free!

[OurPhantasticLife]

Situations like this makes me glad my wife and I are on the same page financially....I'm gonna go hug her now 🫂

[jutde]

I manned up to my wife and told her I was done enabling her spending! It was time to get money under control!

I've been happily divorced for almost 2 years now.

[abark]

I had to lie about saving money in a relationship once. It was my escape fund to finally get out of an abusive relationship.

[joanalorenzo]

I was the one doing the lying. My husband would spend the whole paycheck and not save a dime. We had no debt but no savings either. I managed to save around 7, 000 in about 3 months before I told him. When he saw what I did he came to the realization that he was wrong, now we save up together.

[yamamancha]

This poor man just wants to build a better future for him and his family.

[AbbyC]

So, she can spend money without his permission, but he cannot save money without her permission? She is the problem.

[demstaincanada]

It's amazing how people marry partners not knowing who they are, or even their bad/poor habits.

[lillians.]

I will never understand how ppl can marry another human being and not be totally unapologetically upfront about finances, plans and future goals from the BEGINNING. It’s beyond me. It’s a partnership, keyword “PARTNER”.

[georgeahacker]

This is why there is value in premarital counseling. Good premarital counseling talks about finances, communication, and helps couples consider what the relationship will look like beyond the wedding, years down the road.

[philipgerry]

She’s burning money without asking him. He’s reacting

[dayvidsdays]

Having financial capability in a relationship is just as IMPORTANT as being able to communicate and have similar interests.

[yankeespringer]

This man stated she's NOT on board with debt reduction; therefore, they've obviously had discussions on the subject, (probably quite a few) and he's reducing the effects of her poor behavior by squirreling away money before it falls in her hands. I don't understand calling this man a coward without hearing their full history. My situation was similar; we ended up separating for 9 months then, lo and behold, she finally "got it" and by the grace of God we are back under one roof.

[pep]

I bet, he's already had that talk and she said...No! Short of getting divorced, he knows there is nothing more he can do.

[azteca]

I have a savings BEFORE I met my husband. He doesn't know about. My mother told her daughter's. " Have your stash. You never know."

[Takar]

What I had to show my wife to help her along, was really get her involved in the budget. Then I showed her what our retirement could be, especially if we saved more.

The question really ends up being, "Do you want to spend this money now, for some stuff we'll put in the close and end up giving to goodwill when we want more stuff? Or would you like a pile of cash (few million) when we're old."

Neither of our parents have anything for retirement, and we essentially agreed that we don't want to end up in that situation.

[mikebetts]

Dave's wrong on this, thinking she is just waiting for her husband to take charge and make things happen.
Not all people can be forced into accepting something they are not already doing.
Trying this approach with my other half has done nothing but cause more grief.

[miguelrosales]

As a husband, you need to take the lead about finances in a way where you also get to hear your spouses thoughts and feelings and not overlook them. It will be challenging but it is a conversation that needs to happen for a healthy retirement.
I’m so glad my wife and I started this process in our mid 20’s.

[jamescadzow]

People pleasers, doormats, enablers whatever you desire to label it, they all try to avoid confrontation at all cost. They try to avoid any deep or challenging conversations in order to not rock the boat. It's a form of Self-Sabotage behavior which is based on FEAR.
The ironic thing about people pleasures is they don't please anyone, especially themselves. They are in just about every family in the world, and are embedded with low esteem, no self-respect and no backbone or balls and always play the victim..

[CaseyBurnsInvesting]

Yikes. Definitely glad I found Dave before marriage.