The Expert: Progress Meeting (Short Comedy Sketch)

Have you been in such business meetings? Is your business English up to the same standard? Any other interesting nuances of your business life? Let us know in the comments!

Starring: Orion Leem, Alex Wadham, Abdiel LeRoy, Amir El Masry, Ben Kernow, Eleanor Byrne, Seán Burke & Ayanna Coleman-Potempa

Directed by Lauris Beinerts
Screenplay by Lauris Beinerts
Story by Orion Lee & Lauris Beinerts
Based on characters created by Alexey Berezin
Producers: Michael Bel Gil & Damien Beaton
Executive Producers: Orion Lee & Lauris Beinerts
Director of Photography: Matt Riley
Production Designer: Catiana Becker
Costume Designer: Sabina Piccini
Editor: Connor Snedecor
1st Assistant Director: Archie Hollway
1st Assistant Camera: Matt Tregoning
2nd Assistant Camera: Joanne Smith
Sound Recordist: Xan Márquez Caneda
Gaffer: Pete Carrier
Make-up Artist: Sabrina Garside
Sound Designer: James Bryant
Colourist: James Willett

Equipment provided by Picture Canning & CARRIER-media.
Shot on location at Runway East.
Special Thanks to Natasha Larkin, Spike O'Connell & Edgars Jēkabsons.

A Constellation Creatives, FILM 0.1 & Meshes production.
(c) 2018.

We made this video using:
- A pint glass (for the wide shot)
- Printed handouts (all 375 pages if you ask)
- A very illustrative graph
- A bit of Buzz

Have you been asked to do an impossible task at a meeting? A funny task? What is your working life balance? Who here has a bad boss? Share with us your latest office humor!

Funny short comedy films / sketches / skits & any other videos / movies made by Lauris Beinerts.
If you like to laugh, subscribe for new (albeit irregular) videos!

Семь красных линий Гуманитарий и инженер Дизайнер и заказчик 工程师心里的痛只有工程师能懂 史上最悲催工程师 如何用透明笔画出红色线条

#ShortComedySketch #expert

[LaurisB]

For all the experts out there who can do absolutely anything they're asked to, this is the ideal garment for your office battles.

[DrandelSheep]

75% is also 75 / 100 which means they can produce 75 prototypes and when he's done we can ship the other 25. Its much more efficient than shipping only 3!

[mihaitha]

To anyone wondering, the company is called Electronic Arts.

[inkysplat]

I feel for Anderson, as a developer I've been in similar non-sensical meetings.

[jackbotman]

A project manager is the sort of person that thinks, 3 women can produce one baby in 3 months

[gereonhuppertz]

The last piece of the puzzle that is missing - is the Project manager asking for an additional customer requirement: the square will need to be capable to roll with 0 friction. "Just a minor addition".

[kapitanblue]

This scenario happened exactly 3 hours ago in our project meeting

[jcarlosquebrado]

What I don't understand is why 90 degrees was the bottom value tested for right angles. I believe an 81 degree right angle would be better. It is 10% more efficient than a 90 degree right angle, and so we could expect it to work perfectly 9 out of 10 times.

Alternatively, the right angle problem would have been resolved using a straight angle. R&D should look into developing straight angles. As we all know, in theory, straight angles are ambidextrous, so using them would allow them to be used for both right angle and left angle applications.

[nicholaslau]

I wonder what would happen to this company if this guy quits

[eltimbalino]

I feel like I missed the "Design me a pie chart to show 114%" episode. I can just see how it would have gone down. "Anderson, you seem fixated on circles with this pie-chart problem. You're the expert, I shouldn't have to be creative for you, but maybe you should try a square. Think outside the box a bit." Then, someone else, "Clearly if he can't show 114% with his circle, then he needs a bigger circle. I'm not saying I understand everything Anderson does, but this is obvious. If you need more, make it bigger."

[JW-bewf]

As a 40 year old engineer I finally understand what getting triggered means. I go through this entirely too often. Art is imitating life in the most brutal and honest way possible.

[oboutdoors]

As part of a project that had a promised ship date for a product that wasn't even designed yet, this is all too familiar. One of the funnier/sadder lines came from a "marketing" person in the meeting, when "engineering" said that one of the prototype components was failing in testing, and they couldn't figure out why. "Is this going to affect the ship date?"

[keeflookeem]

I do technical stuff that are hard to explain to laypeople in any kind of comprehensive way without explaining like 10 different technologies. Sometimes I have similarly frustrating meetings and interactions at work. I often show these skits to friends and family to explain what those are like for me. I'd gladly support a patreon or whatever to keep these coming!

[BobbyLandiaPDX]

10 Rules for being a Project Manager:
1. Always tell the Program Director what they want to hear. Directors do not want to hear the word "No" or "Can't". Strike these words from your vocabulary entirely.
2. Never do anything yourself. Delegate absolutely every task, including the delegation of tasks. That way, you'll always have someone else to blame when things go wrong.
3. If the project is delayed for any reason, fire someone immediately. It doesn't matter who. Do not refill the vacant position. Leave the rest of the work for the other team members to absorb since they don't have enough to do anyway. This will give the Director the impression that you are taking charge and that the delay was not your fault.
4. Do not concern yourself with staying up to date on industry standards and practices. After all, if your company isn't already doing it that way, it must be completely irrelevant.
5. Be sure to take credit for everything your team accomplishes. If they complain, remind them that there is no "I" in "Team" and that the new solution wouldn't have been taken seriously otherwise. (See the movie Working Girl)
6. Make sure you have at least one hour-long, mandatory team meeting every week where you require each team member to produce a PowerPoint slideshow presentation about what they've accomplished so far and outline their "Strategic Work Plan" going forward. This way, team members will be forced to constantly justify their position and prove that they are essential to the project, thereby shielding them from elimination. (See rule #3.) This will also cause them to compete with each other for your favor and approval.
7. Never answer emails from team members. Doing so makes it difficult to gaslight them. Also, do not answer your phone, ever, and do not, under any circumstances, reply to voice mail messages or even listen to them. In fact, it's best to just let them build up until your voicemail box is full and can't accept any more messages. Being inaccessible to your team ensures they will have to figure out any problems on their own without dragging you into the tepid shallows of the piss-filled swimming pool we call "work".
8. Contracting expensive consultants when your own in-house team members are perfectly capable of providing the solutions needed demonstrates how seriously you are taking this project while diminishing the self-confidence of your team and increasing their self-doubt. This way, even if the team comes up with their own solution, you will be able to take credit for having the foresight to bring in an "expert" and makes it easier to require a larger budget for the next project.
9. Be sure to switch to a completely new software program halfway through the project and demand that everyone uses it while refusing to learn anything about it yourself and you continue to use the old program.
10. Your number one priority is to complete the project with as little work possible (by you) and just enough mediocrity to meet all the metrics and justify getting paid while handing it over with enough polish and shine to get praise. To do this, you must learn to exploit and capitalize on the talent and hard work of your team while making sure none of them is a threat to your job. By sharpening and fine-tuning this skill, with each new project, you will quickly rise to a level of ass-kissing and brown-nosing that will perfectly position you to become the next Program Director, where you will get to rub shoulders with executives and board members, travel to flashy trade shows and conventions in exotic locations, take months-long vacations, and sabbaticals, receive large bonuses, stock options, and obtain an enormous corner office, and a parking space. Who knows, you might even become a lobbyist!

[NLTops]

Get blamed for non-existent problems whilst being ignored when pointing out existent problems. Realism 1000%.
These videos make me cry whilst rocking back and forth and laugh like a lunatic at the same time.
It is a good thing the Andersons of the world don't resort to violence whilst they're still sane. Wait, is it a good thing?...

[lestersys]

Brilliant writing, brilliant acting. He has the perfect WTF face, someone should make a meme out of it. LoL

[nambeyejkatebe]

This is painful to watch. Especially if you're a real life Anderson.

[DrewKime]

I sat on a phone call and listened to our CTO tell a client that their project would take three weeks. The rest of us exchanged shocked looks, but waited until after the call to remind him we were swamped for at least 2 months, how could he promise them 3 weeks?

"I said it would take 3 weeks, I didn't say when we would start."

[AlexanderMoen]

I think the most infuriating part of these sketches is slowly realizing that in some situations I'm Anderson and in other situations I'm Anderson's colleagues.

[lumblysumbly]

1:47 - His utterly confused/stunned face kills me every time.