Later stage dementia: Bruce and Jan's story

Some viewers may find this film upsetting.

Bruce Bovill gives a brave and moving account of his experience caring for his wife, Jan, in the later stages of her dementia.

The transcript of this video is available on our website

Interested in getting the latest updates from the Society?
____________

Who are we?

Alzheimer's Society is the leading support and research charity for people with dementia, their families and carers.

What is dementia?

The term 'dementia' is used to describe the symptoms that occur when the brain is affected by specific diseases and conditions. Symptoms of dementia include loss of memory, confusion and problems with speech and understanding.

Support the fight against dementia and visit us at

Alzheimer's Society
Leading the fight against dementia
____________________________

[bodyvegas]

I know exactly what Bruce went through. My mom suffered from dementia for well over 20 years. I was per primary care giver and it was very tough (specially with me being her son). The last year or so my mom developed a severe heart condition, and could no longer stay at home. I went almost everyday to visit her. We had some good days, but a lot of bad ones. Finally, her heart gave out. Like Bruce I am happy that she is no longer suffering.

[nmjmarino]

My father suffered a mild stroke almost a year ago, which he survived from but unfortunately led to dementia.
His initial symptoms at first were only short term memory loss, unable to keep the time or day of the week, as well as uncoordinated movement & vision impairment.
It's now got to the point where he doesn't eat or drink, force feeding just to keep him alive... He's starting to look like a skeleton.
He is still capable of walking & moving light objects, but obviously at a very snail like pace.
He doesn't use the toilet anymore, he's forgotten how to, therefore he's wearing adult diapers which need to be changed 2-3 times a day.
He cannot bathe himself, change clothes for himself, prepare food, drive, read, manage a conversation... The list goes on.
He is also at times very aggressive, both verbally & physically. I don't mind him occasionally punching me in the head as there's not enough force to really hurt me, but it saddens me when he does this to my mother.
All this in under 12 months... I wonder what he'll be like in another 12 months, that's if starvation doesn't kill him first.
 
 

[azok]

I really agree with you Bruce I have had a family member who also had dementia and it use to make me soo mad when other family members refused to visit them and it use to break my heart when the family member who had the dementia kept asking for them and I had to lie to them

[JTrevOT]

Thank you to Bruce for sharing your experiences. I work with people with dementia, and hearing a first hand account of how carers feel really helps me understand and to be able to do the best I can to support both patient and family.

[nimph]

That was very touching. Dementia is a very hard condition to deal with. It is truly a sad thing when you see the families and friends of sufferers robbed of their loved one, and their loved one robbed of their old self.

[Kakamg]

I am watching this video because I am worried I got a desease not sure I have something but I have had some symtoms of memory loss. I am glad to hear your comment. You can see the people you work with with your heart you are a good man. I am only 32 ;( I will go to the doctor.

[AlzheimersNVCA]

Thanks for sharing this touching story. It's so important for people to hear these stories and so few have focused on the later stages as this does. 

[Angryconsumernerd]

Film made me very very sad ...I work with these people everyday . I try to mask my feelings for them but its only so I can cope with taking care of them .

[MmlearnOrg]

This is an incredibly powerful story. Thank you so much for sharing. We all have so much to learn about dementia.