Why the left (after you finally opened up to love) @SusanWinter

Kevin writes, “I loved a woman. She loved me even more it seemed. She always said I ticked all her boxes. She pursued me! I held back and then finally let go, opened up, and fell deeply in love with her. 4 months later, she suddenly ended things. Please make more videos about this!?!? This is so confusing and heartbreaking! Thank you!”

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[teripersson]

I feel like I'm the woman in this question.
Sometimes you find someone whose heart is not open, or they're scared, or they are attachment avoidant. You see something there but they play their cards close to their chest and you wait so long because we have this thing called hope.
Playing the waiting game can damage your self-esteem. We can't wait on a maybe and if someone is not reciprocating, you just have to walk away sometimes. Take your power back, your dignity and your self-respect.

[judyb]

You get tired of waiting for them to let their walls down. So you walk away just as they realize what they are losing. We detach to protect our heart if they don't ask for a relationship. It's timing.

[susansherman]

Great advice!
I was the women who pursued....this is how it rolled out for me.
You become exhausted with trying to have a man see you. Timing is everything. So sorry.

[Babesinthewood]

Yes, if you don't feel appreciated you need to protect yourself by falling out of love. It happens as a natural consequence.

[flower_]

I agree 100%, by the time he was ready I lost my heart for him sad but very true.

[alheriking]

You hit the nail in the head, , went through something similar as a female. He pursued me at first, later he confirmed to me that he is not ready for a serious commitment but I was already attached, so it took me a long time to detach fully, cause we kept calling it off and getting back together again. Here is what I realized, I later grew out of patience with him, things I tolerated at the beginning were unbearable later on, and it was easy to call it off. Now I do not miss him much at all, I can do without seeing him and I feel so peaceful with myself. I’m finally detached. Thank God. 😂😂😂

[MikelKiriakos]

There's a million reasons why people do this. It's not always because you did something wrong. It could be attachment issues, it could be thrill of the chase, it could be chasing validation and she left when she got it, it could be he was cold, it could be she realised he didn't shower, it could be she didn't like the sex. How can you really know if that person never communicated what it was that was bothering them. Best thing to do is forget them and move on and make yourself the best person you can be for the right person.

[.am]

Wow! I was once this girl! It took me 7 months to wake up. Content to just receive crumbs of his attention and i was out there giving it all. He was a very reserved/not expressive man so was so patient with him but i lost my self esteem a long the way and finally lost interest...and the opposite happened after that. Thank you Susan for doing this video!

[knzay]

Yup, been there with a guy I was dating for 4 months. What it taught me is that, sometimes people anxiously pursue you because they've idealized you (Checking every box? How do you know so soon?) and then they subconsciously build up unrealistic expectations for who they think you are and what they think the relationship will be. So they're making these grand gestures of love, which slowly does make you fall for them, but they're growing resentful because in their mind they had an expectation for how you'd react and you didn't react in that way. Sometimes the resentment isn't because you didn't show enough interest, it's because you didn't follow the script for the romance novel in their head. Just my experience, could be different for the guy in the video.

[tt]

This is very true, at least from my perspective as a woman, I can relate to this a lot!

[shivar]

Susan, you are one of the most gifted teachers in this field because you don't sugarcoat the truth and make things too fairytale-like nor too pessimistic! this almost made me cry and as a woman, I have to say it is 100% true. I have felt so embarrassed for waiting around for a partner to open up, It felt like I traded up my dignity to just have someone to date and at that point, I walked away with all the love I still felt for him.

[matilda]

I love the volume you use. It's always loud and clear, some you tubers are really hard to hear

[Vanjuska]

This happened to me, I was the one that pulled away when he finally opened up. And it is exactly for reasons susan gave. She explained it correctly.

[mamagoddess]

Perfect timing...and ironically, my “Kevin” is the one that left ME for the same reasons...I finally completely let go and trusted him again after reconciling with him again two months ago after 5 months apart...and was told, “I don’t want this anymore.” Now, I’m scared to ever love again after a year of such ups and downs with such an avoidant personality. Sighhh...

[noellabella]

Wow, you sure hit the nail on the head, Susan!!

[morwien]

Why do I feel like this video is aimed to my ex? Haha. I thought we had a great connection. Confessed my feelings and at the end he said you cant force someone to love you. After all the months dating him, he never once fully trust me with his heart? Guess wasnt meant to be. Great video Susan! ❤️

[Diabeteslovewithdee]

Thank you Susan for waking us up to practicing self love! We can only trust ourselves.

[angelicaduarte]

A weird thing I went through was the guy pursuing so soon and a lot at once, then when I decided to let go and really open up, he got “terrified”… He said he loved the chase at one point but in the beginning told me he wanted a relationship and marriage. I felt fooooled and confused

[antilaw]

My ex of 7 years, 5+ live together in home we bought. Left me and git married to an ex boyfriend from high school some 30+ years ago. In only a couple few short months, they bought house and married. I walked away and never cry or beg. She has bern texting me hundreds of times, and her 77 mother leaving me voice messages that all she does is talk about me and hurting depressed that made a mistake acted on impulse. Even contacted my sister that i dont answer her. I had to move back to an apartment. Betrayal

[dianacarolinasantacruzruiz]

You don't know how bad I was needing to watch something like this, it is ABSOLUTELY true 💜 blessing y'all 🥰🙏🏼