Do You Love Them Or Just Attached?

So, you caught feelings for someone. But you don't know if you're truly in love with them or just attached. Ever caught yourself wondering about your feelings? Well, you're not alone.

We're here to help you figure it out. We're reveal the real deal behind emotions and how to tell if it's love or just a clingy vibe.

#relationship #love #dating #attachment

Writer: Chloe Avenasa
Editor: Rida Batool
Script Manager: Kelly Soong
YouTube Manager: Cindy Cheong

References:
Hatfield, E., & Rapson, R. (1993). Love and attachment processes. Handbook of emotions, 595-604. In M. Lewis & J. M. Haviland (Eds.), The Guilford Press.
Whitfield, C. L. (1993). Boundaries and relationships: Knowing, protecting and enjoying the self. Health Communications, Inc.

[ZiggyWhiskerz]

Love. Is. NOT. an. Emotion.
That is where people go very wrong.
Emotions come and go, but when you actually love it's so much more. It's steadfast and deeper.

[youngking]

1. Coping with conflict
2. Consistency
3. A feeling of safety
4. Healthy boundaries
5. Validating needs
6. Added Value

[zachscully]

“Healthy love should add value and meaning to your life. … Healthy love…gives us a feeling of being understood, and accepted, feeling safe and secure, as well as a strong sense of belonging, and a significant improvement in our overall wellbeing.”

[mattheahanse]

What is love?

Love is patient, love is kind.
It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.
It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking,
it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.

Love does not delight in evil
but rejoices with the truth.
It always protects, always trusts,
always hopes, always perseveres.
(Bible, ‭1 Corinthians 13:4-7)

[GerlachReacts]

I was attached to my ex-wife. I was able to see that she did not add value to my life but had a hard time leaving because I didn’t think anyone else would love me. I’m alone and struggling now, but that is better for both of us than if I had stayed.

[Aan]

Timestamps
1). Coping with conflict 1:03
2). Consistency 1:35
3). A feeling of safety 2:11
4). Healthy boundaries 2:53
5). Validating needs 3:29
6). Added value 4:15

Hope this helps you out. Hope you have a nice day. Sorry this is so late. 💙💙💙💙💙💙

[storminorman]

I'm 25 years old and have never been in a relationship. I just met someone about a month ago and everything clicked so quickly. I keep having nervous thoughts though that my love for them was built somewhat on my prior loneliness and wanting to find a partner... but I think this video was the final thing I needed to make me confident it isn't. They check every box you presented. I've never felt more safe, validated, cared for, or comfortable being myself with anyone, and every day, all of these feelings only get stronger

[brain_respect_and_freedom]

Love is something given freely with nothing wanted in return. Love is unconditional it does not disappear because of one misunderstanding or a few arguments. Love is kind, love is honest, love is.
Attachment on the other hand is an intense suffocating feeling mistaken for love. Attachment does not trust easily, It’s controlling. When you become attached to someone anxiety grows and the fear of losing them sets in which stops you from living in the moment and enjoying each other. Instead of loving each other time is spent on pointless arguments mainly caused by insecurities.

[kiraelizdeleon]

Explains my last relationship with my ex; with me being the person who didn't care as much as I thought. Unhealthy attachments growing up led me to hurt a person who never deserved it

[MaNiMaBaLLa]

Coping with conflict is the biggest thing…

She would constantly just cold shoulder & withdraw affection. I needed this.

[IamAlks]

I don’t like how coincidentally personal these videos have been getting lately 😂

[AD-Bengali]

This video made me realize neither I ever truly loved anyone nor anyone ever truly loved me.

[LupitaMartinez]

I have a healthy relatiomship!!!! This made me worry a lot since we started dating in high school (now we're married) I always felt like we just depended on each other too emotionally, because of how our parents were. But, it turns out we're normal. We do have our fights and all, but wow we're actually normal. 😂❤❤❤❤❤ thank you for the video!

[varshasrivastava]

Sometimes my relationship with my partner (8-years relationship) turns into Emotional invalidation scenario because life has been particularly difficult for him recently. He belittles trouble I go through in my life, but then I have to explain why he is being wrong and he understands. Final word - don’t give up on a relationship without talking through your issues

[Acid_Ash]

For what felt like forever I was with someone who checked all these boxes. But I stayed because I thought if I loved her enough that would soften her up and make her nicer. Until I realized that it’s not my job to fix an abuser and I deserve better. She was dragging my mental health down so I finally managed to leave. Took a lot of work in therapy but I could see the old me. I dated around but nobody wanted someone meaningful or lifelong. I kept trying until it became too hard. I gave up and thought maybe my ex was the best I could get. For years, 5 to be exact I thought I’d be alone for life. So I stuck to making friends and that was nice but my other half was missing. Until I met someone new that was one of my only healthy relationships. I finally feel whole. Even if it took a few years. My point being if your with an abuser or got the courage to leave them, you’ve been healing yourself and dating around with what feels like forever; Don’t give up on love. Clichés can be true and you will wind up finding someone who cares about you and treats you how you need. You’ve got this ❤

[breadcubeboi]

"or you feel that you don't have any better options"
ouch that's true

[cyrus]

0:01 Baby don’t hurt me… don’t hurt me no mo…

[Procraftbrother]

😭
I’m really upset that I never knew this… I’m always doing what I can to help her, and make her feel better even when she feels self doubt… unfortunately, she told me just last night that she doesn’t want to date anyone anymore… and that broke me… she knows I love her… and I’ve been single for my entire life (minus 2 months of a “meh” relationship)… all I want is to love a woman, and be loved by her as well…

[anasiaj]

I noticed that I do some of the things wrong like criticize and disregard his dreams and I have noticed that I am becoming controlling and that is not the person that I want to be. There are things that he does wrong, but I do wrong to we definitely care for each other. We talked and we set boundaries so hopefully we can fix our relationship. I want to be better and he wants to be better so we are working together to make it work.

[mgracey]

Seeing this made me realize that I should really let my ex to enjoy what he have rn. The relationship that they have is just like this and I just can’t accept it since ofc I still love him. As an avoidant, I can’t give that validation and security. Giving myself another perception lke this made me wish them both love and happiness.