Can You Date Someone With Different Religious Beliefs?

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[dpharrison]

It is important to me because it is actually part of my core values. A guy told me that it's just your opinion and I was like no my faith is so much more than that to me. Be true to yourself

[janinepettit]

This is one area in which you want to narrow your pool. Religious beliefs are intrinsic to your core beliefs. They immediately signal what your belief system is. Why waste time with someone whose belief system is so different from yours? Start with that commonality as a foundation and then discover if you’re a personality match.

[luzvez]

OMGGGG THE TIMING OF THIS ??? literally last night my bf & i had this conversation. And we are currently going thru our separate ways just cause of our different beliefs. It’s so freaking sad & I’m so hurt right now but I don’t know.

Now I’ll watch the video.

[lizhorwill]

My hubby is a vegetarian and an Eastern philosophy, I am a Christian. Growing up I wasn't even allowed to date boys who didn't go to our church, never mind Christian boys. The pool was so narrow I married a totally unsuitable person for my personality and it ended 20 years later in divorce and confusion for both of us. I'm so happy now and another 20 years on, being with a person, who although very different to me, is a good fit.

Thanks for this video. I have doubted my choice sometimes and now I feel good about it.

[julitaserrano]

After having let my rule go for someone of a different faith, beings super serious about him to only be rejected in the end, that rule is back up and stronger.

[huugosorsselsson]

Religious convictions, if they have any substance to them, shape your moral values and much of your personality, so it's not a minor issue. In a world where people reject each other for the most superficial things, it would seem strange not to care about such a big thing. As an atheist, I think the only religious people I would consider forming an intimate bond with would be ones who've thought very deeply about why they believe what they do and what it means. But that kind of believer is very rare.

[oneworldonehome]

"Compatibility is very important. Your values concerning self-expression, money, health, career and providership—even your world view—must be in alignment with another. Again, there may be differences, and these differences can be very helpful, but if there are sharp contrasts and these contrasts are based upon the nature and design of both you and the other person, this will limit your participation together. This can limit your ability to accomplish any task together."

From _Relationships and Higher Purpose » Chapter 12: Establishing Relationships_ - by Marshall Vian Summers. (free online/highly recommend)

[saminahaleem]

If two people really love each other then, they feel more than happy in keeping and fullfilling the beliefs of each other . They didn't try to impose their beliefs on each other. They didn't try to change or convert each other. They accept each other as they are. If one person is non vegetarian other should take care of his or her needs and tastes .if one person is vegitarian then other person should take care that he/ she get 100% pure vegetarian food. Both Vegitarian and non vegetarian food should be cooked under one roof in different utensils and servered with love according to taste and beilfs on same table in two different plates . And both agree and respect this. If love exist between two they will find a way to keep each other happy.

[holliehilton]

I wouldn’t recommend it. At all. I’m in my 40’s and had never found a guy until just this year—I thought I was being too picky so I lowered my standards to not include religion. I have a boyfriend now, and every day is absolutely miserable because we believe totally opposite things. He even accuses me of taking jabs at him whenever I’m explaining my faith—yet he’s outright anti-semitic and can’t even see it. Awful. There are worse things than being single. Trust me.

[suzyserna]

It def helps if you’re on the same page for support but I’ve seen how it CAN work with my parents, 41yrs together. It gave me freedom to explore and see the differences between religions and i think helped me be more open to dating outside my “preferred “ religion. I think with love and respect everything is possible and this is just another example of the pressures one should not put on a partner … the relationship you have with religion is with u and that god, js 🤷🏽‍♀️

[lizzysalway]

That was a very interesting perspective, thank you Matthew. I do appreciate that keeping dating within my faith does slim down my options, but I truly do believe it’s worth it. As a Christian, I truly believe that the love of Jesus is the best love, and I would need any romantic partner to understand that and encourage that, pray with me and point me in that direction and not think it was weird to build my life around it. It is deeper than food choices, political opinions, other worldviews. I certainly welcome not being in an echo chamber with my friends and potential partners. But faith is the centre of my identity and is too precious to trade in for romantic love. But it is also good to be challenged on whether I am narrowing down in other ways…

[tehya]

Exactly. I met someone recently who was very strictly religious. They taught me a lot about their religion which I found beautiful, however they cut me off due to me not following their religion strictly when I have different beliefs and I made that clear in the beginning. Sadly, we had a lot in common but there wasn’t enough openness to accept me for who I am from their end I believe. At the end of our communication, they started telling me everything I have “wrong” with myself when it was really just difference of views and faith. It was a good lesson, but quite intense as getting such feedback on myself yet them not open to feedback themselves created an unhealthy environment I felt. It made me not willing to express my feelings if that makes sense.

[wearesatellites]

I personally wouldn’t date someone with different core beliefs than my own (I’m atheist) because the way we view the world and what underscores our fundamental values would just be too different. I’m happy to be friends with people from all different religions! But a life partner should be someone’s whose beliefs and values align naturally with your own, and if you’re coming from two totally different places it’s likely gonna be an uphill battle.

[missme]

My boyfriend and I have been together over 4 years . He and I don't badger each other on our religious believes at all. I'm a raised Baptist and he's atheist. He excepts my believes as my own and I do him the same. It has no affect on our relationship what so ever. Each is allowed to believe what they wish.

[bariville]

When it comes to religious beliefs, I’d have to disagree with you. I don’t believe it is an arrogance to desire someone with the same faith. You spoke about your wife and what drives her dedication as a vegetarian and those great reasons. I’ll speak specifically for the Christian faith since I’m a Christian. When I look for someone else with the same faith, I am not looking for someone who is just like me. I am actually often attracted to someone that is very different than me, they’re not an echo chamber b/c of their faith, they’re a totally different person than me and I love that, they share values with the foundation of that faith. Like you mentioned with your wife, the reasons behind the belief/faith is what matters as well. As a Christian, I believe in the death and resurrection of Christ and there’s so much more to explore there than ‘a set of rules.’ When I choose to date within my faith, it’s not b/c I think less of anyone else’s way of life or believe mine to be the best. It’s ultimately not about me, it’s about God. There’s so much more to the faith. :)

[Sara-uwzh]

Respectfully disagree. I love your videos and I've found them super helpful after breakups, but being vegetarian is not a religion. I see your point but I think that would not be applicable to most situations. Especially in people who are more religious and when relationships become more serious and you start thinking about the future and how you want to raise your kids. This can cause a lot of conflict.

[jayfarron]

As someone who is a atheist and dated a Christian it doesn't work at all. She broke up with me solely because I'm an atheist.

[natbeckm]

This is one of the wisest responses I've heard from Matthew. For someone who has been single for years, it does narrow your search to searching for someone with similar beliefs. On the one hand it helped me re- clarify why I choose this path, But on the other it Reminded me that I shouldn't be arrogant in that approach to wanting to marry someone of the same Faith. It should come from a place of humility and not from a place of superiority . Thank you for reminding me that.

[thebullwhisperer]

No, not seriously. Eventually if you have a family, you will fight over how to raise them. Also, love is before knowledge, but being unequally yoked will not be eazy at all depending on how different each beliefs are and each individual's willingness to change or not.

[ZoeyIndigoSky]

I love this channel and all the discussions and advice Matthew has shared, but I don't love how he said, the greater our criteria, the slimmer our chances. I find this is a very limiting mindset. This then opens up to a lot of people doubting what they truly want in a forever partner and if it's "too much" because like you said, it decreases our chances (which I don't believe). Logically maybe, but I believe the universe provides us exactly what we believe we can have and what we ask for. If we don't believe there is a person created beautifully perfect to compliment us, we will find anyway to settle or to limit our criteria and our true desires. For example, sharing food, being able to travel and go anywhere and eat the same thing and get excited about how amazing the food tastes, that is actually one of my non-negotiables.

I think all of these things run deeper than just a matter of oh, but they could teach me something or that's a great quality about them. It's the matter of the values, lifestyle, way of being that could potentially impact your quality of life. Although yes people CAN make it work, but you have to weigh up the potential struggle, and also what experiences or things you would have to give up. Of course everyone has different goals, priorities, so it varies to person to person whether giving it a go with someone that has a quality/trait that is quite different to theirs is worth it. Eg. if you both come from different religions, you have to think about how are you going to raise your kids, will you come with me to church? you will also feel a disconnect as partners if you both don't believe in the same religion. And being raised Christian myself, having a close relationship as husband and wives with God is upmost importance (to people who really value their religion and relationship with God).

I believe knowing yourself well, what you want and don't want, how you imagine your lifestyle in the future, to stick by it and to continue to grow as a person, become a colourful, interesting person that has a lot to offer and THIS is how you attract your dream partner. I don't believe in wavering from what you want. I think this video unfortunately lead with a scarcity mindset with finding love. I wish this was more empowering than talking about how this 'narrows your pool' of choices. Often times in life, incredible miracles, experiences and opportunities come out of no where. It's not logical, but it's something you've wanted, asked for and manifested. I believe people need to shift their mindset into possibility and believing their dream partner is out there, made perfectly and uniquely for them.