Restaurant Etiquette: Ten Things Elegant Women NEVER DO at Restaurants!

Be honest, ladies. How guilty are you of doing these? perhaps you're a seasoned diner who knows the do's and don't like the palm of your hand.

This is a list of 10 things that you should refrain from doing at restaurants- whether it's your local pizzeria or a 3 Michelin star restaurant, if you display these bad habits you could risk appearing unrefined. By the way, this list is non-exhaustive!

Vivienne Abena is the founder of Woman Of Elegance, a worldwide finishing school which teaches women from all corners of the globe how to be refined, sophisticated and elegant.

Social links:

#restaurantetiquette
#restaurant
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#TenThingsElegantWomenNEVERDo

[m.s]

If I may add a little hint for a nice trick I learned in Greece, a place where diners are fighting to see who will cover the bill - it can be also be when you are planning a surprise treat for the meal for whatever reason, birthday, business, knowing that the other diners don’t have resources, etc and will be struggling to pay, whatever. When you first enter the restaurant and are seated, politely excuse yourself for a visit to the ladies room and ask to see the manager or table server. Give them your bank card and explain that you are covering the meal and to please let you know, discretely when the meal and charges are completed and you will sign for it. This is a wonderful way to treat everyone without having them ever look at the bill or try to figure out their share. Particularly nice when a man does it.

[Magpieme]

Hi, Vivienne…it’s Mary in Florida. Salmon from the Norwegian fjords! 😂😂😂 You had me literally laughing out loud! My husband is in the hotel business and he’s a Food & Beverage director. You’d be shocked at some of the things he’s dealt with. 🌺😘

[mimid.]

1. Never complain about the price
2. Never refuse to tip
3. Never bring outside food and wine
4. Never treat waiters and staff as subordinates
5. Never interrogate the waiting staff
6. Never fail to communicate dietary restrictions carefully and early
7. Never do the service job for them
8. Never display bill antiques
9. Never impolite when airing our dislikes
10. Never ask for toothpick and remove food from our teeth

[jessicamaeparkin]

I went out for a family dinner for my 21st birthday a few years ago. I’d never been so embarrassed in my life at the way they all behaved, complaining loudly to each other that there was not enough food, waving food around on there forks. This experience is all that comes to mind now when someone mentions a 21st birthday, not a happy memory. Worst of all my best friend was at the dinner with us and it was her place of work. They were so disrespectful for the whole duration I’ve never been out for a meal with them again.

[kimberlyrobinson]

I’m not splitting the bill equally when everyone else is ordering expensive drinks all night and I only ordered a Caesar salad and ice water. It’s happened to me once and I won’t ever let that happen again ! 😂

[andrachin]

We all need people who can help us rub off the hard edges and who honestly have our best interest in mind when they do it. Thanks for your help Vivienne. 🌹🌹🌹

[healthychick]

As an elegant lady with food allergies, I absolutely will ask the staff about the ingredients. I'm not rude or condescending but I need to confirm everything before I order since I will be the one to deal with the physical ramifications. I'm always gracious and friendly and make the staff smile, to the point that they enjoy helping me. I also do as much research as I can before going to an establishment, this way I'm ready and things are seamless.

[Wiiniihvlog]

I also don’t like when guest complain about the price. 😒
By the way your top is beautiful! 😍

[veronica_sm_]

I am so grateful that I have found your channel!! Although I am aware of many things you mention I still seek to make my manners and way of being, moving, speaking and behaving more lady-like and more feminine. Thank you so much for your impact❤️

[saarania]

I am a British expat and I learned very early on that British table manners are very different to American. A lot of what American’s consider normal is considered rude by British standards. All these points are universal though! 🙂

[martinabevi]

About point 3: Even in these internet era, as a food allergic person, I tend to bring food with me always. Normally I eat after or before the meal, outside.
I often ask about the food, and often times the food workers don't know nothing about the food they're serving. This also in middle and highend restaurants....
About not spliting the check: I don't drink, I should pay for others bottles/driks anyway? I don't think that is fare...

[naomimulamba]

I'm agreeing with everything you are saying however when eating other people, not everyone orders the same thing in quantity. I had a situation where the person ordered twice the amount of food as everyone else but she insisted in splitting the bill when it wasn't fair for the rest of the group. I'm scenario's such as this one, I would rather getting my calculator and pay for what I have eaten to avoid drama 🙃 😅.

[carm]

My husband and I treated our parents to a lovely French dinner years ago. My MIL complained about everything on the menu and loudly asked if we could take her to White Castle instead. We were mortified.

[IEVAKambarovaite]

What a wonderful video. This reminded me of a little story my mum told me.
She comes from a village and her auntie took her to a fancy restaurant for the very first time when she was a little girl. When they brought the bowl, so she could wash her hands.. she drank that water. Bless her little heart..
Glad this video is here, so ladies can avoid embarrassing moments like this. It still warms my heart when I think about it :)

[sannyvain]

Tipping is a must ! Although the service won’t always be top tier, tipping is proper etiquette .

[AdaUnleashed]

“You risk being served ice cubes” lol that was hilarious.

[SomeRandomBlackWoman]

The toothpick clip 😂. Yes, please don’t flick the food from your teeth in others plates 😂

[debbieadeoye]

Good tips! However for #8 (never displaying bill antiques), I think that is situational which you explained. I am a very considerate person and I try not to do things I wouldn’t want done to me. If whoever you’re out with orders something more expensive than yours then I don’t think it should be an obligation or expectation to split the check evenly, unless there’s an agreement. People have budgets when they go out (at least I do), and it would suck to find myself in an uncomfortable situation. I think it all boils down to respect and consideration.

I love your videos, they are always so enlightening!

[debspringchannel]

I put myself down for having to work in Hospitality for a while . ..but it helped sooo much ...now I can spot all the No No's in Restaurant Etiquette!😑😑😑

* I wouldn't recommend anyone to pay for the service charge * because it doesn't go to the servers ...but to cover Restaurant expenses !!!
Please do your research! If you had an great service tip your waiter/ess with cash and kindly ask to remove the service charge .* it is not mandatory anyway only the Owner and the Government benefits from it👌

[AngeliqueTraveler]

So refreshing! I think we have all had our off days, occasional bad manners when our pet peeves have been utterly irritated... but listening to your voice, your elocution, your poise and your grace is soothing to listen to.