What is 'cognitive dissonance'? (Glossary of Narcissistic Relationships)

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DISCLAIMER: THIS INFORMATION IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR CLINICAL CARE. PLEASE CONSULT A HEALTH CARE PROVIDER FOR GUIDANCE SPECIFIC TO YOUR CASE. THIS VIDEO DISCUSSES NARCISSISM IN GENERAL.

THE VIDEO DOES NOT REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AND SHOULD NOT BE USED TO REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AS HAVING NARCISSISM. PERMISSION IS NOT GRANTED TO LINK TO OR REPOST THIS VIDEO, ESPECIALLY TO SUPPORT AN ALLEGATION THAT THE MAKERS OF THIS VIDEO BELIEVE, OR SUPPORT A CLAIM, THAT A SPECIFIC PERSON IS A NARCISSIST. THAT WOULD BE AN UNAUTHORIZED MISUSE OF THE VIDEO AND THE INFORMATION FEATURED IN IT.
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Anger doesn’t have to show up as rage. Cold anger, silent treatment, put-downs disguised as “jokes” are variations of rage which are just as destructive.

GoogleIsAPieceOfShit
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7 years ago I went to a psychologist and asked him if I was crazy. My dad is a narcissist and he gaslighted me to the core! My dad went (to appease me) to the psychologist 1 time. And the psychologist said “You’re father has been cruel to you and he’s a very sick, sick man. You have my full permission to walk away & never look back” so off I ran, in the opposite direction and have not seen my dad since. Best decision i have ever made for my mental Health

TaniaMarie
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Ma'am I found you a few weeks ago.
I just want to tell you that you are such a blessing to the world!!!
There is something unexplainable about you. As if your soul guides you to speak what you speak. Every word spoken by you is like a pearl. It feels as though your eyes, your voice, your facial expressions, your demeanour are all deep rooted in your soul.
Your spontaneity & fluidity mixed with your serenity & sincerity combined with your profoundness & intensity, is nothing less than magical.
You exude compassion, intelligence, wisdom, feminine energy, gravity, maturity and childlike innocence.
YOU ARE AN OLD SOUL!!!
STAY BLESSED!!!

deeptifeb
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Self validation is ultimately the most powerful form of validation

andreaflaviawilliam
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15:15 - DONT FALL FOR THE BACKSTORY -wow I have heard this before - A good friend, and counselor - who has been walking with me through my healing, continues to tell me that someone’s jacked up childhood is no excuse for them to mistreat anyone... that depression is not an excuse to be disrespectful or abusive ...

emarie
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N O C O N T A C T !
Dont ever reach out to

ErikisOfficial
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HOW can Dr. Ramani talk in a monologue for half an hour without a single mistake, providing us with gold by her every phrase?! I admire you, doctor, thank you so much, I've saved my life. God bless you

daryas
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I love that you emphasize how the narcissist doesn't change. You WILL never be enough. I know that!!

louise-yokz
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Its easier to fool people than convince them they've been fooled.

brandnewty
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The reason they won't change is that they don't want happiness. Their goal is psychological control, not happiness. That's why they move the goal posts around.

canadianbacon
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Never, make your family, friends, or loved ones happy at your expense.

GoogleIsAPieceOfShit
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I finally found a therapist who recognized this pattern me. I spun story after story, making each a funny recollection of the horrid interactions of my narcissistic family. When, after a year in therapy, I was able to see and own the dissonance and actual cruelty that went on growing up, I no longer was suicidal.

annepentola
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I’ve blamed myself for far too long for others cognitive dissonance.Time to take care of the most important person and that’s yourself. Stay strong everyone

plantingivy
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Gas lighting and cognitive dissonance are hand in glove

pavanatanaya
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The abuse doesn’t happen right away. It is a slow burn that becomes a fast boil. And then you’re in it. Justifying, rationalizing, denying, storytelling. And these are the patterns that pop up for me even out of the relationship. The “ick” list is a great tool to stay in reality.

gjwhtlq
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I wish I knew this my whole life!!! Now I am 55 and trying to “fix” my life.

angelacapranica
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"My mother is my best friend", I remember that one. Oh boy was I misinformed. She was more like my worst enemy.

JC-buvl
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I just needed to hear this as 10 minutes ago I was making excuses for someone's bad behavior at work. You saved me Dr. Ramani 😇

NS-uqst
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It’s true that “the truth will set you free” but it’s also true that “the truth hurts”. But it doesn’t hurt worse than living in cognitive dissonance, living a lie, being less than yourself. You owe it to yourself - and to others - to be free, to be loved as a free person, and to freely love (rather than merely being a player in someone else’s script). Be well, everybody! Thank you, Dr. Ramani. 💖

Slivings
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My ex narc always talked about how amazing his family is. Oh man oh man, when their mask fell off WOAH they turned out to be the most toxic, demonic, manipulative family I’ve ever met in my entire life!! They ALL played me so dirty, I wouldn’t be able to see them again or I’d puke 🤮

arlenegonzalez