What every new parent should know: Diana Eidelman at TEDxBGU

Drawing from her experience as a mother and a Family Counselor, Diana Eidelman shares her insights into challenging and often contradictory experiences that define parenting in the modern world. By drawing on keen insights into the psychology of both parent and child, Diana encourages listeners to consider the importance of active interaction, emotional stability, sustenance and physical touch to both infants and parents during the early, critical stages of child development.

In the spirit of ideas worth spreading, TEDx is a program of local, self-organized events that bring people together to share a TED-like experience. At a TEDx event, TEDTalks video and live speakers combine to spark deep discussion and connection in a small group. These local, self-organized events are branded TEDx, where x = independently organized TED event. The TED Conference provides general guidance for the TEDx program, but individual TEDx events are self-organized.* (*Subject to certain rules and regulations)

[iyambeanz]

The key is to slow down. Housework, hygiene, health, none of it has a time limit. If you slow down everything will get done. It goes so much faster than you can possibly imagine. Remember that there will come a time when you'll miss nursing and pooping at the same time and you will miss even the most intense tears and screams that come from your beautiful baby. They cling to you for such a short time. Embrace it. It's such a special time. Just go slow and prioritize everything. Nothing is more important than this time. I have 5 kids ages 10, 8, 6, 2, and 1 month. A decade has blown by and many regrets and guilty feelings have come and vanished. I teach my kids that when you make mistakes you can't dwell in that space. You have to let go to make room for something new to come in, and when you let go of that mistake you will learn a lesson from it. And when we learn better, we do better the next time we face a similar situation. Parenting is go with the flow. Don't force your child into your world, learn to blend and flow with one another.

[shanahaim]

I had my first baby at 35. Before that I had a successful career. Let me tell you; being a mother is by far the hardest thing I have ever done. I look back and wonder how I managed it especially the first couple of years X

[ReneeLoves]

This brought tears to my eyes because she hit the nail right on the head for me. I have a 10 month old and 7 year old, and life has been soo overwhelming, being a working mum and a wife. My husband works 6 days a week and long hours, so is hardly around. I feel alone and stressed most of the time, and on top of that I am exhausted, and feel inadequate. I also feel like no one understands, but this video made me realise I am not alone and it's a relief. Thank you for this!

[DellTewahdo]

Great talk! I feel that the concept of the “village” has been forgotten! The reason people are so anxious and find themselves isolated and thinking negative thoughts is because there is no village anymore and people are raising their babies/children alone which was never meant to be the way for centuries/millennia, humans have raised their children together. It’s very helpful and the way we are doing things is leading to more post partum depression and overwhelmed parents.

[MrSeanjbaker]

I think that if you worry about being a good parent means that you are already on your way to being a great parent. We hold ourselves sometimes to a unattainable standard which can prevent you from a realization of achievement and success in being the foundation of a growing and thriving little human. My 5cents worth as a Dad

[subhashreevenkatesh]

She hit the nail on the head.. 4 months pp and she precisely described my experiences.. and happy to know I'm not the only one experiencing these.. Love for this tribe of women..

[sumipun]

I did 8 years of Sales before I had my baby.
Before being a mum my whole week was about KPIs. It was stressful but when you hit your KPI it was super satisfactory. You can calculate the incentives by the amount of work you put in. My whole life was dominated by numbers.
So when I had baby, guess what
No quantitative measurement of the effort I am putting. No ROI.
It drive me crazy. I was confused all the time. I kept having this anxiety that I was doing something wrong.
I made an excel chart to track my babies feeding and pooping. Lol
My mum told me to relax.
She said that if they cry than that means they are either hungry or wet or sometimes they just want to cry. Hold them love them and forget the rest.
I was scared that if I hold him too much he will get used to it, but my mum said that this moment will pass so soon and I will regret that I didn’t hold him enough. And it was so true.

[gwensanders]

I noticed that since I picked up hobbies and mommy friends I’m so much happier. She was pretty hard on me the first year but my love for her got us through. Her hugs are the most amazing thing in the world but sometimes I need a break to refill my mommy gas tank.

[hannas]

I have a son who's 2, 5 months old and I can relate to everything she described. This talk was so comforting. Thank you.

[MaliksBoy]

I'm only 8 weeks pregnant and already feel overwhelmed and anxious about this whole process and wondering if I'll be able to be a good mom when I know I'll be so tired and sleep deprived. So thank you for somehow rationalizing this absolutely crazy time

[mahuexvii]

I'm noticing a lot of mothers questioning their parenthood or what they did while pregnant. Ladies YOU CAN ONLY DO SO MUCH. We are all looking for guidance just like our babies are looking for it. You never know what's right for your baby because all babies are different. I ended having to experiment different methods of sleep training because my child would take a while to fall asleep and would only sleep 45 minutes to an hour most the time. It takes time and effort, my sister told me and it does. It's not easy. No one said it would be. Eventually your baby adapts to your routine and it gets more and more better for you both but do not expect the first 3 months to be easy because within that time they are learning how to sleep and when to sleep and how to put themselves to sleep. Don't feel guilty. It's not worth the time. Sometimes you will feel like an awful mother but the only thing that would make you an awful mother is if you gave up and abandoned your baby. Be proud. As women we work hard to do these things. If anything instead of being mean to ourselves, just give yourself a pat on the back for making it through the day.

[taojoy]

I'm already 22 weeks pregnant. Right now I am anxious about how to take care of the future little creature. Her experience brings tears to my eyes and also encourages me to embrace my boy and become a good mother. Thank you very much!

[Succeshero-ywrl]

Great talk! I went through the exact same thing. Everyhing you do is interrupted...absolutely true

[fl_snorkeldork]

I relate to this so much. The first 6 months were the hardest adaptation period I've ever experienced. To become a mother is almost to go through metamorphosis. My son was "high needs" also. He was born looking around, blue eyes wide open, taking in everything. The nurses called him "bright eyes" which is coincidentally something my husband called me in our very early days 🤍

You want an alert baby...my son met all of his milestones early and at 16 months old is the happiest, cuddliest, and smartest baby I've ever known. He plays independently. He can problem solve. He amazes me. And he's still just as alert lol 🤣 he literally doesn't stop moving until he sleeps, his energy gives me energy!

[danielled]

This really made me feel good. She got right into the heart of it all.

[Pushnotificationsalwaysoffbye]

As a first time parent, this is so helpful and reassuring. Thank you. And the comment section is so thoughtful and useful too. great video and community section.

[maxruth]

Woman you make me cry that's exactly how I feel thank you very much at at least somebody understand

[HannahNuhi]

Amazing tips.
First time mom, mother of triplets here 😉

[julieturner]

Based on recent brain research, I would add an extra T to the GIFT acronym - Talk! Language develop occurs through the social interactions between parent-caregiver and the child. It is through language that children build more brain connections leading to stronger thinking skills, problem solving skills, and social/emotional skills.

[flowerpower]

Moral of the story: no ones ever ready.