Straight Talk: Behavior Before the Relationship

Can you be angry at your partner's behavior before you were in a relationship? Steve's Straight Talk Panel sounds off!

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[Ms_T_Perfectly_Imperfect]

The lady with the white hair is right. Over-sharing needs to go!

[StormMonroe]

If you feel the need to spill your secrets, give it to the lord. That way you know where you sent your business and that it’s not coming back

[indigobeauty]

I might be too honest for my own good but I'm confessing everything he ask...I despise lying, and truly believe a relationship built on Truth & honesty is the way to go. Tell the truth and let your Partner decide if they want to deal with your Truth.

[johnjf]

So women should not put men in high standards, make them accountable, or even change bad behavior? If we set so many "rules", standards, expectations on women why should women just come in agreeance that men CAN sleep with whomever and come to terms with that.

[welsha]

I agree that we over share.I learnt that the hard way.

[MissBlueBeauty]

I don’t agree with lying about your number, but I also feel like discussing your number is irrelevant. That’s high school stuff. If someone asked me my number at this point in my life, (I’m over 30) I would tell them it was really none of their business. As long as everyone knows they are safe and get tested to confirm so, what you did 10-15+ years ago shouldn’t matter. Life goes on.

[valerielinares]

I think couples who are serious should share everything, even past mistakes - don't lie about it. Because consider this: If you truly have changed your ways and learned from your mistakes, what do you have to hide? Because if you hide it, that's suspicious to me, making me think you have every intention of playing games with me too. And, if you're open and honest, saying in words and showing in actions that you've changed your ways, and that person STILL rejects you.. Guess what? That's a clear sign they are not the one for you. And that's something you should know before making a commitment to them. It's better to be open and honest beforehand so that both parties can make an informed decision of whether they want to continue the relationship. Keeping such information from a potential mate shows fear, insecurity, and desperation. Desperate decisions lead to dire consequences. In this case, the "dire consequences" is a relationship built on secrecy and dishonesty - a tower that's sure to crumble. A relationship based on openness, honesty, acceptance, respect, and love has a firm foundation.

[mixedmamiiD]

Behavior is learned. I doubt Steve taught his sons to not judge a womans past. So the double standard continues...

[localone]

Get so tired of the lady talking about 31 dates. That's a game show. It's not like the real world meeting 31 guys in a bar or club and within a few months sleeping with all of them.

[ferozalekota]

Dr V needs to stop with the botox and plastic surgery

[RoyalMasterpiece]

First of all, if I don't have honesty and trust in my relationship ( I will never agree to lying in a relationship), then I don't have one. I can't get mad at someone's past because I have my own. I'm woman enough to handle a past. I just want the past to be in the past. That is my requirement. Lastly, if a man can't handle your past, then he's not the one. P.S. What happened to being adults and handling things like one?

[juliegreene]

This is one of the issues that broke my marriage. My ex insisted that I tell him how many men I have been with before we got married. I told him that that info is not going to contribute anything to the marriage, so why does he need to know. I never once asked him how many women he had been with before me. Because I refused to tell him, he never answered any question I ask him no matter how innocent or unrelated to marriage the question is, he will tell me, 'that question will not contribute anything to our marriage, so I will not answer.' Of course, shortly after, we filed for divorce. He finally told me he has trust issues.

[Kimmieziven]

Past does and doesnt matter, it depends on what they did and if they grew out of it. At least it is in my opinion

[lovemecom]

Time shapes as to be prepared in the future. We learn so many lessons in our past just to be a better person for our next relationship. I will just take us to another mistake if we bring the past with us in the present.

[bethanieboo]

My bf would constantly over share about his past.. I finally had to tell him to stop, bc your new relationship doesn’t really care to hear stories about the past.. we would be talking about a subject or a vacation spot etc, and he would always have a story about when he was with someone else and they went there or a funny story... ALWAYS had another female in it...it was always” One time I was dating this girl”.. “ One time me and this girl went to FL”, ” when I lived with this one girl she...” it actually created jealousy with me because I started keeping count and it was multiple women so I’m thinking are you a player?? At the beginning of our relationship I counted 15 different stories about 15 different relationships or dating a different woman.. so yes. Keep your past to your self because it can damage your future.. nine years later if he tells me a story I often wonder if he is leaving the other female out of it..

[anointedi.q.akagnocchi]

Thank you for the one who agreed lol nice, real talk, as well.

[claudiawaithe]

I'll answer that question. If he dealt with your sister, family member or close friends. Some guy coerce my sister into giving her virginity to him, shamed her in our very neighborhood, then tried to do the same to me. As if I'm as stupid as she is. One unexpected phone conversation from him and he knew I'd purposely screw his life up for trying to make a fool out of me. God. Steve can give some terrible advice the way his mind thinks. Good thing I can think for myself.

[MeHaveDonuts]

And couldnt agree more. Men will ALWAYS treat women the way anyone from a friend to society has shown men how women are treated in certain areas. Of course a man that really loves you not gonna care about your exes but always makes a fun topic to talk about lol

[rashardstallworth]

The doctor V is going to have a lot of people single

[thrilla]

It is WAY easier for a woman to sleep with loads of different men than it is for a man to sleep with loads of different women. A woman just needs to be somewhat attractive and have minimum social skills.

A man needs, looks, charisma, status, money, style, trinkets help too.

Also, women rarely if EVER approach men first.

Can't be a double standard if we're playing by different rules.