How to Combat FOMO (The Fear of Missing Out) When You Have ADHD

We talked before about how nothing is a waste of time, but that frequently isn't how it feels for those of us with ADHD who suffer from FOMO (the fear of missing out). Lets look at how we can combat FOMO and truly see how to make sure nothing is a waste of time!

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[martianpudding]

I think what makes it worse with adhd for me is that I know that I "miss" a lot of things in general because of attention and memory problems. Just like I'm never sure if I really locked the door or if I just remember locking the door yesterday, I don't know how many opportunities I just forgot about. And I can't say "well if I really wanted it I wouldn't have forgotten about it" because I have adhd. I have recurring nightmares about forgetting about big events and having to scramble to try to still get there but failing.

[wannabehuman]

I didn’t realize FOMO was such a strong ADHD thing. Explains a lot about my trouble with making decisions. I’ve made a lot of wrong ones and that amplifies the fear even more.

[YoSamdySam]

Literally my first response to this was "you know you can film YouTube videos on a yacht, sipping champagne right?" and now I realise I'm part of the problem 😜

[lunarbyul]

FOMO could be harder to deal with for ADHD folks because of our reward system. For me a big part of it is because of my perfectionism, but also how ambitious (yet impatient) I am due to my ADHD. Seeing immediate results makes me feel like something is worth my time, but in reality most tasks that have amazing results at the end don't have that. I've jumped from one interest to another, hoping one will keep me engaged but everything requires patience and persistence.

[TheXynariz]

I finished watching the video. :)

My depression has basically overwhelmed my life to the point of "oh well, I will just miss out on everything. Everyone else's life is great and just mine sucks and that's how life is. The end. Nothing to miss out on because I'm going to miss out on literally everything and nobody wants me there anyway." But my therapy is already helping me reframe things from "I *should* be doing this today", and I like how you rephrase it as "I *choose* to do this today."

Your "nothing is a waste of time" video really helped me, and now this video ... yeah, it's going to take some time for me to process it. "No matter what our choices are, we're going to miss out on stuff." "What am I being present for?" "What we can do is make it so that the things in our lives are fulfilling." Those ... those are deep thoughts. And it's a really good place to explore and to think about.

Thanks. Again. For a deep and very validating video that will give me a lot to think about.

[jerismith-ready]

Thank you for the reminder that "I wrote a book" is a thing to feel great about in the rocking chair. I've been a published author for 22 years and have often felt like I've missed out on a lot of "real life" due to publishing deadlines and also generally finding fictional people more engaging than nonfictional ones. Because of ADHD it takes me a lot longer to write and edit a novel than most of my peers, so I spend way too much energy comparing myself to them and wishing I had a different brain. So it's nice to be reminded that writing a book that people want to read is an extraordinary thing. Thank you. 💖

[hagoryopi]

This is one of the biggest challenges I've had to deal with! I constantly get analysis paralysis because I'm so afraid of missing out on something better, something more "valuable, " something which would get me into a better position like earning more money or living alone so I stop burdening the people around me. And then I use about half the time I could have actually used, because I constantly stop myself to think and double-check. I've been working really hard to be more present in the moment, more productive doing the things I love like writing, but it's really hard when you don't have a reliable argument to dismiss that fear with. And now I do. Thank you.

[dangernoodle]

your videos helped me explain to my parents exactly what i struggle with in life and no adhd is not just me being lazy

[mkg]

This video and topic reminds me of a Mister Rogers quote:
"You rarely have time for everything you want in life, so you need to make choices. And hopefully your choices can come from a deep sense of who you are."

[thevalkyries]

2 minutes in and I am already sobbing.
I feel so trapped in my current life, and have no options to change tracks.
False positivity has caused me so much pain, but THIS is so reassuring and affirming.

Thank you for the work you do. ❤❤❤

[MrShlee]

Thank you for this. Struggling more and more as I age without any medication. I somehow thought I would just get better over time. No. Everyday is a struggle. I find coffee and other stimulants actually help a great deal for focusing

[colleen_]

I was literally just freaking out because I was filling out references for a new job which made me think more of how lonely I've been the past year since moving and leaving my campus for online school and this video pops up in my notifications:) Thanks so much, Jess!

[khiryshank]

It's definitely hard. The one thing that helped me accept this is the movie Groundhog Day. It taught me that the grass is green where you water it. Sometimes I like to pretend I'm repeating the same day to figure out what my values are ultimately.

Not only just interpersonal things I’m afraid of missing out on like inside jokes or memories and activities, but fomo has ruined my life financially. Between Pokémon collecting and league of legends events and limited time skins I have spent over 20, 000 dollars between the two because of the fear that something won’t be available or will go up in price in the future. I tested myself to let things pass and although part of me will always wonder if I will regret it, I’m proud of myself for keeping the money and knowing I’ll have it for real needs. I’ll only allow myself to partake in one purchase for each every few months and it has relieved so much stress from me.

[erinbuck]

This is the video I needed. FOMO is horrible, especially when it affects your budget. And choosing your words is so important. I don’t have to, I GET to or I CHOOSE to. It’s an empowering first step.

[puppythevampireslayer]

thank you!!!! I think watching sooo many people being rich and famous every time we turn on our phones makes us feel like we're boring losers if we have a normal life. but it doesn't make you basic to enjoy the little things and actually be content with what you have

[drake]

These videos have helped me figure out so much about me and my wife it’s nuts. We’re both ADHD lol

[natebrack]

Jessica, thank you so much for the consistent content. As somebody who has struggled with ADHD for years and has benefitted from the informative and validating nature of your videos, I just want to share my appreciation for your dedication to this community. You have helped me and I'm sure so many others understand our own brains and behaviors and what you have done for us is invaluable. Life is so wild and I can't even imagine all of the things you have going on in your own life. The fact that you've been so consistent in bringing us this content and sharing this knowledge, especially considering all the challenges you must face as somebody with ADHD, I really can't thank you enough for the time and effort you have put in. It is truly remarkable and I just want you to know how much love and appreciation myself and so many people have for you. If life gets too crazy and you have to take a break from this or even stop all together, just know that everything you've done for this community will shine through everybody that you have helped with this content, and we never take your hard work for granted. Thank you again Jessica, I can't wait to watch this video (:

[macbwilson]

I appreciate the subtle change of context with "I choose to"... Actually I love the subtle change..!!!

[alyssaparsons]

Literally just finished the call for the results of my assessment. I didn’t quite fit adhd or autism, so she said depression and anxiety. But I’ve found open arms in the neurodivergent community, and your videos have really helped me. I’ve found I really relate to the academic and workplace struggles of adhd. I’m not sure how best to continue considering I don’t have adhd.