Old School Dads Know How To Deal With Bullies | Etta May

Comedian Etta May on old school dads and bullies…

About Etta May:
Etta May has performed her brand of clean-comedy on Oprah, Showtime, Comic Strip Live, MTV, and as a guest commentator on “CBS Sunday Morning,” Winner of the prestigious American Comedy Awards “Comic Of The Year,” and so much more. In addition, she headlines the successful all-female comedy tour, “Etta May and the Southern Fried Chicks,” selling out theatres all over the country. Think Blue Collar Comedy Tour with better hair and a bigger attitude! In addition to television, Etta May is a regular on Sirius-XM Comedy Channels and the syndicated Bob & Tom radio show.

Born and in Bald Knob, Arkansas, Etta May grew up alongside nine older brothers, who referred to their baby sister as “the human sacrifice.” Etta May’s parents - her father, a potpourri farmer, and her mother, bedridden by constant childbearing - didn’t realize she was a girl until she needed a training bra.

She met her husband, Delbert, an aspiring truck driver, at a friend’s kegger. From across the yard, their eyes locked in a loving look, you know that stare that lasts a moment too long. Nine months later, she was blessed with a boy, and three more kids followed. “That’s where my comedy comes from. I just wait for my husband or kids to do something stupid, and then I write it down.”

Before finding success as a stand-up comic, Etta wandered from dead-end job to dead-end job, including a 10-year stint as a school bus driver. She says she learned how to handle unruly kids by Armor-Alling the seats and slamming on the brakes all the way to school. Her theory: “Kind of hard to pick a fight with the kid in front of you when you’re just holding on for dear life.”

Then she decided to take a chance on herself and follow her dream. Lots of hard work and drive, and a few years later, she wins “Female Comic Of The Year” at the American Comedy Awards. It’s the American Story we are all told that you can become anything you set your mind to in this great country, and for Etta May, it worked!

#EttaMay #SouthernSass #StandUpComedy

[midgemooney]

I went to Catholic school and the public school kids would wait for for me. One day I came home crying and my older brother asked what happened. I told him some boys hit me and pushed me down. He was calm and asked where did it happen. I said at the baseball field and they were in the dugout. He came back a half hour later dirty and dusty. He said not to worry anymore that they wouldn’t be bothering me. I was 8 and he was 11. The bullies were 13. They never bothered me again. I am now 74 and my big brother passed in 2016. I miss him every day.

[TYCT]

My daughter had the same issue. I told her to tell the bus driver and nothing happened. I told her to tell her teacher and nothing happened. I told to tell the principal Sr. Mary. Nothing happened. So, I told her “we don’t throw the first punch but we do throw the last. If that girl touches you again beat her tail like you have lost your mind.” The girl hit my daughter, my daughter beat her with a full book bag, the nun called me, I went to the school, the nun asked me if I demonstrated good moral conflict resolution, and I told her if she want moral she should have stepped in. Then I took my baby to breakfast and a movie and she spent 3 days at home eating pot tarts, watching cartoons, and very proud of herself.

[SerenityPeaceTree]

I have a "softer" story. In 8th grade there was a girl who kept writing me nasty notes. I got upset because before that she was my friend, my pal among a group of girls. I told my parents at the dinner table what was happening. My Dad put his fork down. He said "Don't give her power anymore. Next time she hands you a note don't open it. Rip it up and throw it in the trash." Next day I got another note. I did exactly what my dad said. The look on her face was priceless - shock, dumbfounded. I dusted my hands and sat back down. Never got a note or nasty word again. That's helped me a few times in my life and works every time.

[j.d.]

I'll have to admit I fall in the same light as your Daddy. We lived in Fort Worth at the time and my oldest boy as I think in the 5th grade. I got called into the school for him gettin' in a fight. Well I walked in headed into the vice principles office and three parents, two mom's and a dad sittin' with their boys ( three of them..all tore up ). I just shook my head and walked into the office. There sat my son, red eyed and shakin'. The VP goes to tellin' me the my boy got into a fight with them three outside and beat em' all up. I turned and looked at my son and he started shakin' and cryin', and I asked him "what happened son?". He had his head hung and said " I can't say Papa". I told him this is your one chance to tell your side son, now speak up. Say whatever it is you gotta say and best tell the truth. Well he looked up at me and said "well..Papa..they um..they called my Momma a bitch..." I looked down at him and said.."Did they now?" he said " Yes Papa " I stood up and he kinda cringed down in his seat. I reached down and patted him on the shoulder and said " Lets go get some ice cream son". The vp looked up at me all shocked and said "You ain't gonna punish your boy" I said " No Ma'am. If a grown man called my wife a bitch I'd whoop his ass, don't expect my son to react no different to someone callin' his Momma one." and we left the office. Well the father of one of the boys stood up as we came out and said to me " You need to get control of your boy!" I stopped and squared up to him and said "And you need to ask your son why he thinks it's ok to call someone's Momma a bitch" He turned REAL slow to look and it son, the boy started shakin' and cryin'. He turned back to me and tipped his head and said " I got this" and I walked out of the school holdin' my son's hand and asked him "What you want from the Dairy Queen son?

[damo]

We sent my son to Catholic school because we thought it would be better. Of course, the school had a known bully that nobody would do anything about because parents were big school and church supporters. I told my son never to run, and next time, the bully shoved him to turn around and pop him in the nose. Well, my son proudly did as I told him, and next we knew we got a call from the principal requesting a meeting. True to fact, they wanted to give my son detention while the bully got nothing. I told the principal that my son has my permission to fight back at anytime and I would be serving the detention with him to prove a point. Well neither of us ever served detention and the bully never bothered my son.

[murtleturtle]

I love how this doesn't even feel like a comedy skit to me, it kinda just sounds like my mawmaw talking to me about her life experiences and I nod and laugh along. What a great feeling.

[cherylrivera]

My dad taught me 'If someone hits you and you don't hit back, I'll hit you!'. I was never bullied. Thanks Dad.

[mauriceortiz]

That is the perfect way to deal with a bully. Remove the fear of the victim.

[alanmolox]

Laughter mingled with tears. Pain is best served up with a smile. Love this lady.

[damaliamarsi]

I got bullied by two big guys in high school but never wanted to hurt anyone or get in trouble so just dealt with it week after week. Finally I realized any punishment was worth it and one day i told both of them not to mess with me anymore and this was their last warning. The next day they both messed with me, punched me and were going at me twice as hard as usual. Fed up and fully expecting to get my ass wooped and go to jail I just started swinging. To my shock I plastered the first guy to the hallway wall and remember the look of shock and terror on his face as my fists plowed into him again and again. I saw the other one run, which shocked me so I stopped plastering the first guy and tore off after the second. I caught up to him going down the stairs and jumped on him, riding him eown the first flight to the turn to go down the second flight and started pounding on his face as hard and fast as I could. When I realized I was hurting him and he was not fighting back i stopped and calmly ask him if we were done. He shook his head yes so I got up and headed back to where it had all started to pick up my books and get ready for the heaping mess of trouble I was sure to be in. I know at least three teachers had seen it and so had everyone in the hall. I got my books, went into class and sat down to wait for the police (our school called the police for fights). I waited all day and finished out the week with no commens and best of all those two guys...never saw them again.

[colineames]

i am a 75 year old man who got expelled for the same reason at the age of 14, and has kept me from being beat and bullied ever since, cried my eyes out when i watched you, but hey thats the way it was done in the 60 ts, and my Dad was a head teacher, thanks for the memorylove it colin

[palermothegoalgod-wdwp]

I went to greece with my family and at the time my son was 6 and my daughter was 10. Near the hotel there was a gang of lads having a football match (all greeks) and my kids asked if they could join in. Cut a long story short some of these older bigger kid's started to give my lad a bit of over physicality. He came over to sidelines crying with big snot bubbles and I was telling him to man up and dish it out himself. In the background, I heard a comotion only to spot my daughter laying into these kids scragging them around by their hair and generally kicking the shit out of never been prouder in my life.

[monicaluketich]

My mom was one of those, "Don't rock the boat or make waves. They are just jealous of you." I put up with verbal bullying and name calling for a couple of years in Jr. High, but one day, I had had enough. The leader caught me in a bad mood. I swung my fist at her so hard I missed her by a foot - but she got the hint. " I'm going to tell my mother what you tried to do. "Go ahead, and I'll tell her about your bullying and your brother and his friends' name calling that you encouraged." The look on her face was a sight worth waiting for. She nor any of the other girls who bullied me never tried ever again. Sometimes, parents don't protect you, and you just have to get fed up and do it yourself!

[kathleenkirchoff]

As a teacher i can guarantee that teacher cheering inside. Yeah we have to write them both up for fighting but are glad when a kid stands up to a bully.

[deannatreat]

I told my daughter that if she ever sees someone bullying her friends or family or if they are bullying her...go to a teacher and tell them...if they won't do anything about it and that bully hits her or her friend of family then she has every right to defend herself and those with her. I told her not to throw the first punch, but she can sure enough throw the 2nd, also told her she wouldn't be in trouble at home and that I'd take her out for ice cream....well, it just so happened that not long after I told her that it happened...her teacher called me and told me she had punched someone...went in and my daughter told me that a kid was messing with her friend and wouldn't leave them alone, she had told the teacher and the principal and they did nothing...She got ice cream that night.

[TheKjoy]

My mom is number 5 of 8 kids, 2 older sisters (15 and 13 at the time of the story) and 2 older brothers (11 and 10). My mom's hometown was a small town and at the time all grades rode the same bus to school. My mom was in 3rd grade when she bumped into a 6th grade boy on the bus. The boy was a known bully and he punched my mom in the stomach. She spent most of the day feeling like she needed to throw up. When she finally did, she was sent to the nurse who called my grandma. My grandma brought her home and when the oldest 4 got home they were given their marching orders. The next morning, my grandma walked my mom and her siblings to the bus and gave the bus driver his orders. After school, my mom's siblings got off the bus at the bully's house and beat the snot out of him. Then they got back on the bus and came home. Everybody on the bus watched him get beat up by 2 girls, a boy his own age, and one that was younger than him. He never bullied anyone ever again, and nobody messed with my mom's family. The memory of "we defend our own" carried into my generation of cousins. It didn't hurt that 2 of my aunts worked for the school district while we were growing up. My mom's younger sister has worked as a teacher's aide for over 30 years.

[MrJohnnyboyrebel]

Since I was smaller than my classmates, I was the target of bullies a lot. One of them lived just four houses away. “Mike” stopped me one day and I just knew I was going to get beaten up, so I stopped him by saying “My mom asked if you can come have supper with us tonight?” Mike was stunned, I guess, and ran home to ask his mother if he could have supper at Johnny’s house. He did and the bullying stopped, at least from Mike. For the rest of them, I just made sure I had bigger friends.

[relikborg]

When I was 6 years old I had a bully at the church my family went to, I took it for a while before telling my mom. The next sunday my mom watched from a distance and saw what was going on, she called me over and gave me the green light to fix the problem. So the next time I saw the bully I started punching as hard as I could then pulled his shirt up over his head like I saw done in hockey games, worked like a charm, he wouldn't even look at me for more than a few seconds after it went down.

Thanks Mom.

[scottishhellcat]

I was 4 foot 10 and weighed 70 pounds. One of the many bullies was the instigator weighing in at 424 pounds. Similar to this comedian, my Daddy told me if I got my ass whooped one more time and didn't call him that I would get whooped again when I got home. And thank goodness he did come. They were still talking about his entrance at our 50th class reunion. The 6 weeks she terrorized me (along with unknown buddies) seemed like forever. Fast forward 7 years. I wish Daddy had lived to see it. (The reason I know how much she weighed is because she came to the hospital and we had to weigh her on the commercial scales down in the laundry). Anyway, she got a brief taste of my daily terror when I walked into her hospital room and bent over the bed and smiled as I said "Good afternoon. I'm going to be your nurse today". Big girl was scared shitless".

[richardturk]

I had one boy that always picked on me but one swift kick in the nuts and then his face while he was on the ground holding his nuts.
Never had anymore problems with the guy.
Some other kids saw it all go down and at a HS reunion 45 years later it was brought up and it was a highlight of the night.