10 Things To KNOW about Restaurants ETIQUETTE in Paris

Do's and don't in a restaurant in Paris. 10 things you should know about etiquette in France.

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[Troublee]

As I parisian waiter (sorry in advance for my english) I would like to react on each point :
1 : Yes that's totally fine, feel free to notice it to your waiter, in this way he can gives you the appropriate cutlery.
2 : Yes, I (and I think most of my colleague) prefer to give you a doggie bag, nobody like to throw food (even most of kitchens ask me "didn't they like it?" when I have to throw an unfinished dish to give you an idea).
3 : It depends of what do you want to substitute, sometimes it's just impossible because of the dish itself but I don't agree on one point : It's pretty common to ask for a substitution, otherwise yes feel free to ask.
4 : Totally agree, in most of time, if it's just because you don't like it, you will have to pay the dish, if it's the kitchen or the waiter who did a mistake don't worry you won't need to pay anything.
5 : You can grab a table if you want, but I just let you know that we don't like this, yes you should ask someone to seat you (except if we say something like "sit wherever you like" for sure). It's a way for us to welcome you properly and to keep the control in the restaurant because it can be messy really quick. For the napkins that's false but you should following it (if there is a napkins that's for eat however it's just for a drink) but if you want absolutely one table particularly feel free to ask to your waiter. Except if it booked it should be fine.
Exception for bars and terrace where it's common to just grab a table.
6 : You can let a tip with your card, you have just to tell how much you want to tip before the payment, in this way your waiter will add the amount to the bill. If you still worry about this feel free to ask to your waiter if he accepts tip with credit card.
7 : I never came to USA so I don't know how it works but yes during the service sometimes we really don't have a time (like even 30 second is a large amount of time for us). In any case if you have question feel free to ask them, a good waiter will always answer you with a smile. Yeah, except for taking order or to serve you dishes we don't come every minutes to ask you if everything's doing good. If we have time we try to do it for sure. Just be sure to know what you want to order/ask when you're calling us, people who calls us and are just like "soooo, 2 minutes please" are making us crazy. And no that's not a reason for you to wait, like if you're waiting more than 5 minutes the waiter for taking your order that's not normal (but please be comprehensive if the restaurant is full and you see your waiter running everywhere).
In some restaurant we're pay in the percentage of our work but that's really rare.
8 : In most of restaurant, we don't really look on it. If we see you finish you dish we come to take it, otherwise we don't. Also if you haven't finish you dish but you have finish to eat don't worry, we will notice it. A good waiter knows everything what happens in his tables.
9 : Feel free to eat and put your hands in the way you want, except if you go in a really elegant restaurant like gastronomic and in this case yes : you should learn the french manners.
10 : Feel free to put the bread where you want, but it's common to let the bread in its basket and the sliced bread in your plate. We know that US people use to eat butter with their bread so feel free to ask in the worst case you waiter could be surprise but whatever don't hesitate to ask it. In a casual bistro if we have the time to really take care of you we can serve you even after the first glass but as I said most of time we really don't have the time to do it.
11 : If you want to eat a croissant or drink a coffee while walking, feel free to do it. People doesn't care about what you're doing.

I discover your channel few days ago and I'm really curious about what US people think of France so I'm watching your videos and I really appreciate your content, you're giving really good advices.

Also feel free to contact me if you have more questions and don't forget : it's useless to worry about how to behave or whatever, just be you (and kind) and everything will be fine.

[llaughridge]

You missed two important things: 1. When ordering with a 'menu' (entree+plat+dessert ou fromage), do you tell the waiter everything you want up front (yes), or decide course-by-course? 2. With the credit card processing for a US-issued card, when the machine gives you a choice of $ or €, ALWAYS pick the local currency. If you pick Dollars, the vendor's card processor will do the currency exchange and it will be much worse than if you pick Euros and let your own bank do the currency exchange. ( Always pick local currency everywhere, not just in France.)

[jokerbis]

I'm a parisian and all those advices seem rights and wise. And anyway, don't worry too much about the etiquette. if you keep smiling and kind most of situations can be arranged. Most of people will understand you're coming from another country. Paris is so touristical that most of waiters will be pleasant and benevolent. But sometimes you may meet bad waiter with bad manners. In that case, just keep on smiling. Just don't come to that place again and tell your friends. You'll laugh about it a few weeks later. A last advice: to not appear arrogant, if possible, use some french words. A single "bonjour ou bonsoir" can make all the difference.

[lours]

Parisian here. Good coverage of important points. Some more for Americans:

- You can choose the accompaniment with some dishes: for example the choice of vegetables, but don’t ‘re-engineer’ the kitchen’s cuisine. I have seen Americans try to make 5 or more modifications to a salad. The maître d’hôtel had to explain to the woman that the menu outlines the dishes that are proposed. If she’d like something else, he invited her to go home and prepare it.

- Don’t speak at 3 times the volume of the tables of French people around you. This is considered quite obnoxious. This may mean you need to consciously keep your voices down.

- Don’t use these phrases, which are even considered impolite in English outside the US:
- I’ll DO… or I’ll GET…. The staff are the ones doing and getting, not you. Say, ‘I would like’ or ‘Could I have..’
- Bring me… Hopefully don’t need to explain
- Not using Please and Thank You (or even S’il vous plait and Merci)

- A meal is a ritual in France, not a functional transaction. Be ready to spend at least an hour over a meal. Ideally two. Take your time choosing and when ready CLOSE THE MENUs. Many Americans leave them open and when the waiters continue to walk by they immediately decide they are the victim of a xenophobic passive agression. No, the servers are respecting your time and space to decide. They will likely be with you within a minute once you close the menus.  

- Don’t expect the bill (check) to come unless you ask for it. This is again to respect your time and space. It is not bad service but good service.

- Don’t interrupt a server when they are focused on another table, even if there is some going back and forth to deliver or clear items. Choose the moment to attract their attention and then make eye contact and raise you hand slightly. Don’t loudly call out, but use ‘ S’il vous plait’ (Not ‘Excusez-moi)

- Ask the server’s opinion on something related to the menu or wine list. Not necessary a recommendation, but an explanation or a comparison between two options. This will usually engage them as the ‘expert’ and they will enjoy serving you more.

- Smile.

[TheoWerewolf]

#4, On my first trip to Paris, I was feeling homesick and wanted pizza. I was staying at the St. Yllen and there was a Speed Rabbit Pizza place just across the street. My reading French is pretty good and I'm vegetarian (allergy) and I ordered what I thought was a vegetarian pizza on a two for one deal and only after about 10 minutes realised that there was lardon (fatty bacon) on it. I tried to explain the problem (my spoken French is... not so good, alas) and luckily one of the customers could speak English and French and explained. I made it clear that it was entirely my error and I was ok paying for the first order and a replacement - but to my surprise, they offered a free replacement. I said that that wasn't fair to them - it was MY mistake - and he replied "It's ok - Marcel and I will have it for dinner!" :)

Genuinely awesome! Sadly, that location of the chain has permanently closed. :(

[MrDabaaz]

Hi i was a waiter in a brasserie for 7 years, and you can definitly tip with the credit card. You have tell the waiter how much you want to add before the actual transaction is done on the machine. The extra will be added to our tips at the end of the day. Great videos merci !

[MrDjubinum]

Hello ! I'm a waiter in Paris and what you're saying here is absolutely true. However, don't bother to tip 10% of the meal. It can be enormous depending on what you ordered. 2 to 5 euros is perfect. I'v helped many tourists to understand the menu (sometimes for a very long moment) and the simple gesture of the tip is appreciated. And you can add a tip by asking an extra when you pay by credit card ;)

And YES, thank you to explain that: if you need a waiter, just call him. We try to do the best to prevent any of the customer's needs, but when we are full, it can be a bit tricky.

[jonijohnson]

Antoine and Colleen: We are still in Paris and found a jewel today. La Forge Restaurant in Les Goublins neighborhood. 14 Rue Pascal. I went for the cassoulet, and all the menu we tasted was fabulous! The warm goat cheese salad was to die for also. Wonderful couple that runs the restaurant and we highly recommend!! Joni & Steve Johnson

[myselection]

I was born next to France, Belgium, known Paris well, lived in the US and known the ‘nuance’ differences between both dining cultures. This video explains it all, short and to the point.

[brianhynds]

I ordered whelks as a starter. I'd never tried them before but after eating one or two I just could eat the rest. The waitress was very kind and brought me another starter. I was not charged for the whelks which I thought was very gracious. I got the impression that the waitress thought it was more important for me to enjoy what I was eating rather than dwell on me wasting a portion of their food. That's why I keep going back to France.

[christophercamaguey]

You both are awesome. You both speak in such a soothing and relaxing way, I could listen to you two all day. My partner and I are visiting France this week from Miami. Your videos have been very helpful. Thank you for everything!

[krisanderson]

Thank you for this important video. As an American drilled in my manners, they are not always correct when traveling. Taking the time to research customs, etc. is a quintessential part of travel preparation, in my humble opinion. Immersing myself in the culture is why I travel.

[renee]

I really love and appreciate the reverence and care the French take with food and the enjoyment of eating. ❤

[mrn]

Great vid! I might add, as a local, the payment process: there is a "logic" to know, when just going to the counter and pay there instead of waiting for the waiter. For lunch, most people do that, since the waiters are as you say, very busy. Also, I never tip! But, when for example in the US, I am a great tipper! Eating with your hands-- actually both the posh and the no posh, tend to pick up some frittes with their hands and the way we clean the plate with the bread, can actually be considered "to much" for outsiders...

[jacqueline]

French Law since 1985 states that a Customer is not required to Tip after a meal. The 15%Service Charge is added to the Bill. This is because the Staff now have a Living Wage so can no longer, legally, expect to increase their wages through Tipping. They earn the same as the woman working at a Le Clerc Till, and she cannot rely on
Just thought I'd point it out as Law.
That said, its entirely up to the Individual, of course. ( I live in Southern Feance and have never seen a French person tip whilst I was with them)
Loved this Video, as always. Thank you both

[marthawilson]

Thanks very much for this. May I add something? I just spent two months in Paris (March and April 2023) and, because I rarely carry cash with me now, I made it a habit to ask if I could add the tip to my total. The servers did not have a problem with that. So if my meal with a friend were €40, I would ask to add €5 – and they gave me the receipt for €45 and we were done! When I realized I could do this for every meal, I asked every time. I got a nice big smile and “thank you, ” because they were happy I was leaving a tip, and that was that!

[feliceadem]

Thank you for this video, so helpful when in France. I was just there and was very conscious of remembering to put my hands on the table in between courses as coming from Anglo culture I was always taught to do the opposite and told by my parents it was rude to rest your elbows on the table so naturally will put them on my lap.

Your channel and Paris travel guide was so helpful in my recent travels and made such a difference this time in my trip to France knowing where to go and how to engage with the locals. 👏 🇫🇷

[KolorfulDreamsArtKda]

I'm not French but I've lived my whole adult life in France and that's absolutely right, that's how we like it here: if I need you I'll call you. It feels so weird to have the waiter coming to my table all the time, which happens so often when I'm in the States.

[szakhem]

Funny and so true: When I moved to the US I was so confused about the NO hands on the table rule that was opposite to the hands ON the table rule growing up 😅!?!? The knife “gymnastics” is also important to note in France: No switching knife and fork back and forth between hands.

[aloys]

As a french who lives 10km from Paris : Good advices.
Some details I can clarify :
You can eat french fries with your hands, that's not a problem at all, most of the people I know eat them that way in restaurants.
You can keep your hands under the table while not eating, I didn't even know about that.