The Truth About Having a Bad Childhood & Picking Bad Partners

Does everyone with a bad childhood pick bad partners? What's the truth about childhood abuse and toxic love relationships?

In this live, Dr. Kerry will:

1. Share the connection between having a bad childhood and later choosing bad partners.
2. Discuss overcoming childhood abuse so that you can go on to have loving, lasting relationships.
3. Provide practical steps to help our children who are surviving narcissistic abuse find healthy adult partners and real love later in life.

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IF YOU ARE A RISK of immediate danger or abuse, please get in touch with the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 800-799-7233.

DISCLAIMER: All content and information on this website is for informational and educational purposes only and does not constitute mental health advice. Although I strive to provide accurate general information, the information presented here is not a substitute for professional advice, and you should not rely solely on this information. Always consult a professional in the area for your particular needs and circumstances before making any professional, legal, medical, financial, or tax-related decisions.
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Want to read a true story of narcissistic abuse?
LOVE YOU MORE: The Harrowing Tale of Lies, Sex Addiction, & Double Cross

Stay in Touch with Me!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., a mental health clinician, is a narcissistic abuse survivor and an expert on cultivating healthy relationships, deconstructing narcissism, and understanding various other mental health-related issues.

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[munchey]

Wolves make better parents than narcissists do, but we understand what you’re saying. ❤

[nancyvigraham]

I like your pragmatic approach. I agree, if I had needs in my childhood that were not met, I have to accept that’s a part of me that I just have to deal with. It gets less painful over time as I (very slowly) let it go.

[kriswalker]

The childhood neglect you were describing is the whole generation that I grew up in. Gen X was 100% raised that way. We always went out and had to care for and raise ourselves in so many ways.

[ClandestineGirlX]

Excited to watch. Your hair looks beautiful ❤

[Mal-wftx]

This was so informative and helpful. You touched on so much of my childhood experience and why I have been in the toxic relationships I have. Thank you!

[unzzcyj]

Ty so much for putting this all out there because you are really So smart.

[aprilswill]

Oh my, this is me. I was raised by wolves.

[lt]

So many great ideas in this video. Thanks, Kerry!

[aprilswill]

I think I’ve been looking for a parent too. So how do we discover reasonable expectations? I think I’m either hyper independent or under asking or expecting in relationships. What are the standards? Whenever I give and show up, I feel slighted when that person tells me no or like they are being unfair, or I am get taken advantage of because I’ve given more. This part always confuses me about connections. Should I connect with others based on what they give, how they treat me, who they are, or a combination of all of this? What if someone treats me well but they are a drug addict? I excuse their bad decisions because it’s their life and I shouldn’t judge. I do sympathize a lot because I was taught to be Christ-like.

What if someone gives me a lot but they mistreat me?

[WoohooliganComedy]

I think the movie you were thinking about is Radio Flyer. 💖

[sylviealexandris]

I’ve never connected childhood hospitalization (I was an infant) as a form of sexual abuse.

It makes so much sense. I was very ill as an infant and spent a lot of time alone in and out of hospitals. I have a paralyzing fear of needles.

Obviously I needed to be there but had no way of understanding unwanted touches from doctors and nurses.

[petermoore]

I think the interpretation of that study may be flawed. Is 1/3 a low number or high number? It depends on the proportion of abused or neglected children in the adult population. For example, if 10% of children are in that category and there is no correlation, then you would expect 10% of people in that study to have had abusive childhoods. In that case 1/3 would be over three times what you would expect.

[miffy]

You have described me in all my relationships. But I know it’s not normal 🫤. Plus I’m married to a narcissist so it’s a double whammy